Psychologist Shares The 15-Second Tip That Parents Can Use To 'Decrease Rudeness' And 'Increase Cooperation' With Their Kids
Sometimes, you just need to adjust the way you communicate.
fizkes | Shutterstock A psychologist on TikTok revealed a technique that any parent can use to improve their child’s behavior and cooperation. It’s far more simple than you might expect.
Parents can use the 15-second tip to ‘decrease rudeness’ and ‘increase cooperation’ with their kids.
“No matter how old your kid is, you can use this 15-second tip to decrease rudeness and increase cooperation,” Dr. Becky Kennedy, a psychologist and mom of two, began her video. "Find your child today and ask them this question: 'Hey, I was just wondering, what could I do better as your parent?'"
Even if your child responds with a ridiculous response, like a request to eat candy for breakfast or have unlimited screen time, asking the question is beneficial. You open the door to healthy communication and demonstrate that you value their opinion.
Kennedy further advised actively listening to your child and asking follow-up questions like "Tell me more" and "What would that be like?"
“Imagine your boss coming to you randomly and asking how they could be a better manager to you,” Kennedy added. “Just by asking the question and listening they're basically saying, 'I care about you. I respect you. I'm invested in this relationship.'"
This strategy allows parents to strengthen their relationship with their child and as Kennedy pointed out, "with more connection always comes more cooperation."
Parents should make an effort to ensure their children feel seen and heard.
When kids don't feel understood, they resort to unwanted behaviors like tantrums. They may act out as a way to get attention. It's important that kids feel seen and heard from a young age and intentional conversations like this one are a great way to do so.
Bikram Roy, the founder of Bonfire Digital Wellness, a program dedicated to coaching adolescents and empowering youth, wrote a LinkedIn post on the topic.
"It's essential for adolescents to feel seen and heard as it boosts their sense of belonging, self-worth, and engagement," he explained. "When they're comfortable sharing their thoughts, emotions, and opinions without fear of criticism or mockery, they're more likely to cultivate a growth mindset and sustain healthy habits."
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"On the other hand," he continued, "when [adolescents] feel invisible or ignored, it can have a negative impact on their wellbeing."
Asking open-ended questions — and encouraging honest answers — is a simple way to ensure your child feels heard.
In a recent video, Kennedy shared another helpful phrase parents can use to make their kids feel seen.
“There's a tiny language shift you can make in your home that will lead to more positive interactions with your kids,” she insisted. “Here it is: 'I noticed.'"
“I noticed you remembered your water bottle for soccer practice. Thank you,” Kennedy gave as an example. “I noticed you cleared your plate from the table. Thanks for doing that.”
This small phrase ensures that your child knows they are seen and that their good behavior does not go unnoticed.
“Just saying the words ‘I noticed’ makes someone feel valued and important and real,” she concluded. “And with more connection always comes more cooperation and more positive interaction.”
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.