Woman's Boyfriend Says He'd Break Up With Her If She Gave Someone CPR
This is an insane, red-flag level of male insecurity — not a "boundary."
Pixel-Shot | Shutterstock At this point, if I hear one more person on the internet call something utterly insane a "boundary" I am going to personally swim to the bottom of the ocean and chainsaw through the vital internet cables circling the globe.
Every day there's a new definition of "boundary" more absurd than the next, and one woman's deeply insecure boyfriend just might take the cake. His definition of what constitutes cheating is ludicrous even by today's standards.
The woman's boyfriend said he'd break up with her if she gave someone CPR.
OK, buddy, if you're reading this I want you to listen to me very carefully: Step away from whatever idiotic men's rights activist podcasts you are listening to and go to therapy! Good Lord.
The woman wrote in a Reddit post that she and her boyfriend have been together for nearly two years, live together, and plan to get married. They're in a serious partnership, not some casual dalliance.
Nevertheless, this guy is so wildly insecure that he considers giving CPR to a dying person to be a dealbreaker. "He said he would break up with me if I gave someone CPR (specifically mouth to mouth), even if I saved their life and no one else was around to help them," she wrote. This includes his own parents.
He claims this is one of his 'boundaries' — even though it doesn't apply to him.
Uh oh, another person who has no understanding of what boundaries are! As any therapist will explain, boundaries are about your behavior, not other people's, and they certainly aren't about making rules for others.
Even if they were, though, this is patently absurd, but it gets worse. He said that he could give someone CPR "because he plans to be a doctor one day but I couldn’t as my profession doesn't ask for that," she wrote, adding that "this feels like a crazy double standard to me." Oh, you think?!
When she clarified, he doubled down. "He said that if I wanted to be with him, I can’t give anyone CPR — I should let them die," she wrote.
Pixel-Shot | Shutterstock
That this argument came on the heels of them having a major conflict because he blew off Valentine's Day adds several other layers of ludicrosity that make the whole thing hilarious. But when you peel back the layers, is it actually funny? Many didn't think so.
His take is a gleaming red flag that indicates potentially dangerous ideas about women and gender roles.
Here's the thing: If a dude says something like this to you and your immediate first instinct isn't "holy crap, I gotta get away from this dude right now," you're… well, let's just say you're not examining the situation honestly.
To hold this view you need to have a deranged standard for what is and is not infidelity. His definition is tellingly in line with what many deranged "men's rights activists" and "incels" in the online "manosphere" have to say about women nowadays.
Sure, a situation in which you have to perform CPR is probably unlikely to ever come up. However, this standard is so extreme that other situations that breach his bizarre code of ethics — which only applies to women, by the way — are bound to come up eventually. If that breach happens after you've exchanged vows, getting away from him becomes that much more complicated — especially given the current administration's stated goals when it comes to changing how no-fault divorce laws apply to women.
A Reddit commenter put it far more pointedly. "Run. Run far and run fast," they wrote. "This man is unhinged. He literally told you he’d expect you to let someone die instead of trying to save their life. This is disgusting and this is not someone you want as a partner."
They also asked a revealing question about where this guy draws the line on his unhinged view. "He said even for family members — does that mean if you two had children and one needed CPR he’d expect you to let them die instead of saving them? This man is majorly disturbed and probably has no place in medicine." Thank goodness he showed his true colors before it was too late.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.