If You Have No Close Relationships, You Probably Display These 9 Ugly Habits
This subtle shift in your approach to life will greatly affect your relationships.
Salmon Guruli | Unsplash It’s not bad luck or fate; sometimes, it’s your behaviors that have been holding you back from having close relationships. The truth is, genuine intimacy with another human isn’t just about meeting the right person — it’s also about being the right person.
Certain ugly habits or attitudes can make it almost impossible to build genuine, lasting relationships. If you’ve been wondering why true love, companionship, or friendship feel out of reach for you, it might come down to these behaviors.
If you have no close relationships, you probably display these ugly habits:
1. You embellish the truth
We’ve all been with someone who may have fibbed about their experience and interests to get us to talk to them. Perhaps they may have asked how to do something you’re good at as an icebreaker. That is okay.
What isn’t okay is when they claim to be total experts and try to act like they know more than you when they haven’t got a clue what they’re talking about. If they can’t tell people the very basics of what they claim to know more than they do, they’re lying and that’s a bad character trait.
2. You second-guess everyone
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This is bad and it should be a dealbreaker for several reasons. Nobody wants a partner who constantly second-guesses their every move. People can’t have a relationship without trust.
3. You break commitments
People who don't have close relationships are mavericks at coming up with excuses. The thing is: there’s no excuse. If someone wants to commit, they’ll commit. It won’t matter if they're broke, depressed, or dealing with issues.
If people hear them coming up with excuses, it’s best to understand that they're deciding to keep a person orbiting without actually giving them what they need. This is the most basic definition of being all-talk, no action.
Constantly finding reasons to avoid commitment can stem from various factors, including past trauma, attachment issues, underlying anxiety, or a fear of being hurt or trapped in a relationship. A 2012 study explained that some individuals may struggle with intimacy and emotional vulnerability, making it difficult to form deep connections and commit.
4. You make people question their sanity
I’ve noticed that most people who are fake have an innate ability to make people question their sanity around them. Sometimes, it’s not even something they say or do consciously.
It’s just a weird vibe that puts people on edge and makes them want to gain their acceptance, but at the same time, it raises weird alarm bells because they know they’re not seeing the person they are.
5. You are incapable of being vulnerable
People with no close relationships will never let you see them lose their cool when they’re angry or upset. They may never even show any emotion whatsoever. Though some may disagree, I’m of the school that a person who won’t show someone how they’re feeling when they should be upset is generally people who are too fake to bother with.
6. You have a loose relationship with the truth
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If someone isn’t sure whether someone who can't keep close relationships is being honest, take a look at the two most common signs that they're lying. People who can't keep close relationships are full of it and will lie by omission, use wheedle words, and, at times, just fudge the truth until what happens suits their narrative better.
According to a 2023 study, a partner constantly turning arguments around on you, often shifting blame, can stem from a pattern of defensiveness, emotional immaturity, or even potential signs of narcissism or controlling behavior. If the situation is causing significant distress, it's essential to prioritize your well-being and consider whether the relationship is healthy for you.
7. You're obsessed with yourself
From my experience, the people who are most prone to lying are the ones who are also the most obsessed with their image. The reason why is that they feel they have more to lose if people realize they’re a jerk.
8. Your actions don’t match your words
This is a big indicator that something isn’t right. If someone who can't keep close relationships can’t even walk the walk, people should be walking away from them. People who are legitimately honest have things that back up their words.
9. You ghost people
A person who ghosts people has shown themself to be of really poor character. Ghosting, when done to someone who probably won't lash out or hurt you, is a spineless act that shows that people have zero spines and zero integrity. How can you expect a person who ghosts people to ever have a close relationship?
A 2023 study explained that ghosting, the sudden and unexplained ending of a relationship, can lead to significant emotional distress and mental health issues for those who are ghosted, including feelings of rejection, confusion, and low self-worth. In contrast, ghosts may experience guilt or remorse or exhibit avoidance behaviors.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, New Theory Magazine, and others.