10 Types Of People That Are Not Worth Keeping In Touch With, According To Research
Not everyone who enters your life deserves a long-term seat at your table.
pathdoc / Shutterstock In life, there are times when it's important to distance yourself from certain people in order to protect your well-being and continue to foster your personal growth. Whether it’s due to their toxic behavior, disrespect for boundaries, or simply being a negative influence, there are certain types of people that are simply not worth keeping in touch with.
While relationships are essential, sometimes stepping back from individuals who drain you or hinder your progress is necessary for finding peace and focusing on your own goals. By maintaining distance from these people you can help preserve your emotional health.
Here are 10 types of people that are not worth keeping in touch with
1. The opportunist
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Opportunists tend to be more interested in what they can gain from you rather than forming a true, authentic connection. According to an article published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, opportunistic people’s behavior can undermine social cooperation by creating environments where strict demands and punishments alienate others rather than encouraging cooperation.
These individuals act expediently, maximizing their benefits by cheating when possible and offering minimal cooperation only when necessary. This can leave you feeling used or unimportant in the relationship. Over time, it may become emotionally exhausting and leave you questioning whether the relationship between the two of you was ever real.
Maintaining distance from opportunists can protect your emotional health and well-being by stepping away from people who drain or try to exploit you.
2. The drama lover
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People who thrive on creating or being involved in drama often bring chaos into your life, making everything more stressful. Being around someone who thrives on drama can drain your emotional energy. They often pull others into their chaotic situations which can require a lot of emotional labor from you.
“When someone lacks a strong sense of self, provoking or fueling drama can become a way to assert their existence, whether consciously or unconsciously, “ says therapist Antonieta Contreras.
People who love drama tend to do it from a place of trauma or issues within their lives that are not being nurtured or taken care of at home. Ultimately, staying in touch with a drama lover can prevent you from leading a peaceful, balanced life.
3. The gossip
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Keeping in touch with someone who constantly gossips can be harmful for several reasons. Someone who talks behind people's backs and spreads rumors can cause unnecessary drama which makes them unreliable and untrustworthy.
Gossipers often share private information about others, whether true or not. Researchers from Germany found that people with higher narcissistic traits are more likely to engage in gossiping for certain motives. Narcissism was linked to people who use gossip as a negative influence towards others' reputations.
If you continue to engage with or support gossipers, you may inadvertently become an enabler of their behavior. Distancing yourself from them helps to protect your peace of mind, integrity, and relationships.
4. The emotional vampire
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Emotional vampires feed off your emotional energy. People who constantly drain your emotional energy without ever reciprocating or offering support in return can leave you feeling exhausted.
Joel Carnevale, Lei Huang, and Peter Harms studied people in leadership roles who were deemed “emotional vampires” in the workplace and found that they had narcissistic tendencies. They may demand your time, energy, or emotional resources without consideration for your personal limits. This lack of respect for your boundaries can leave you feeling drained and resentful.
Distancing yourself from them allows you to preserve your mental and emotional health. Setting boundaries or ending such relationships is essential for maintaining a positive and fulfilling life.
5. The fair-weather friend
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People who only want to be around when things are going well but disappear during tough times aren't true friends and may not have your best interests at heart. Fair-weather friends are often only present when it's convenient for them. They won't be there to support you during tough times, leaving you to face challenges alone.
According to an article published in the Journal of Anthropological Research, friendship is more than an interpersonal relationship between two people but rather a title or label given from one person to another. Genuine friendships are built on mutual care and loyalty, especially in times of adversity.
Fair-weather friends are often more of a hindrance than a help in the long run. Distancing yourself from such people can allow you to focus on relationships with individuals who will be there for you during both the good times and the bad.
6. The victim
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We’ve all met the constant victim, someone who never takes responsibility for their actions and always blames others for their problems. While it's important to support friends during difficult times, a constant victim mentality can drain your energy which prevents progress and creates an unhealthy, one-sided dynamic.
People who often stay in this state of perpetual victimhood place future expectations on others to prove their trustworthiness. A study from Germany found that late childhood and early adolescence are particularly critical periods for the formation and stabilization of victim sensitivity. During this time, individuals have a strong need to trust peers and friends in order to avoid being in a state of victimization.
It’s best to distance yourself from these people immediately and allow them to wallow in their own self-made misery.
7. The boundary-crosser
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A boundary crosser regularly disrespects or ignores the limits you set in a relationship. They might push you to share personal details you're not comfortable with or they might invade your physical space without consent.
“Setting and enforcing boundaries is a powerful act of self-respect. It teaches others how to treat you and creates space for healthy, balanced relationships,” says Moshe Ratson MBA, MFT. Allowing someone to repeatedly cross your boundaries often means you’re stuck in a cycle of unhealthy behaviors.
Constantly having to enforce boundaries can be mentally and emotionally exhausting. Distance yourself from people who consistently cross your boundaries is crucial for maintaining healthy balanced relationships and ensuring your needs are met.
8. The envious person
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Instead of celebrating your successes, an envious person may belittle or downplay your achievements. They might act indifferent or even passive-aggressively criticize your accomplishments in an attempt to make you feel like you haven’t earned them. This can create emotional wounds and make you question your own worth.
Araya Baker, M.Phil.Ed. states that “being a modest person who doesn’t flaunt coveted material possessions or status symbols doesn’t necessarily protect you from being targeted.” This is because sometimes people are envious of your spirit rather than something physical that you possess.
Envy breeds negativity, unhealthy competition, and a lack of support. It also hinders personal growth and creates a toxic relationship dynamic. By distancing yourself from an envious person, you create space for healthier and more fulfilling relationships that are built on positivity to flourish.
9. The liar
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Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and someone who constantly lies erodes that trust, making it hard to maintain a healthy connection. A liar's deceit can leave you questioning what is true and what is not, leading to confusion and uncertainty.
Timothy Levine, Ph.D. along with fellow researchers Kim B. Serota and Tony Docan-Morgan found that 90% of lies that people told were “little white lies” and that 42% of those liars are lying every day. Constant exposure to lying can make you wary of others causing you to question the sincerity of everyone around you.
Distance yourself from individuals who regularly deceive or manipulate, as they undermine your emotional health and prevent you from experiencing genuine, fulfilling connections.
10. The manipulator
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Manipulators often use dishonest tactics to steer conversations in their favor, avoiding direct communication or accountability. They may employ guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or other covert strategies to get what they want.
Susan Krauss Whitbourne PhD, ABPP states that “among the childhood experiences that can shape the tendency to exploit and use other people are early neglect, abuse, and exposure to other trauma that leads to the development of cynicism and distrust.” They might deny things they’ve said or done, twisting the truth to make you question your memory, feelings, or even sanity.
Manipulation is a toxic behavior that can have far-reaching consequences on your mental and emotional health. By distancing yourself from manipulators, you reclaim your autonomy, self-esteem, and energy.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author who has over a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.