6 ‘Envious’ Personality Types You Should Avoid At All Costs
You might want to take note of those jealous friends and envious co-workers.
Jacob Lund | CanvaPro Envy is a complicated, chaotic, and overwhelming emotion that can be equally difficult to conceptualize in the person experiencing it and the one it’s targeted at.
Envy also hardly manifests itself in the same way with different people, as it’s motivated by a variety of issues, struggles, insecurities, and pain points. According to Mariah Perry’s book “Green Eyes,” an investigation into envious personality types, there are nearly 40 ways envy can manifest in individuals.
Spiritual influencer Angel Laborcé on TikTok broke down the different envious personality types from Perry's book so you can recognize and avoid them in your own life.
Here are the 6 ‘envious’ personality types that you should avoid at all costs:
1. The reputation ruiner
Laborcé deemed this personality type “the most common” amongst envious women. The “reputation ruiner” puts other people down to make themselves look better. “Tainting their public image” by spreading lies, degrading their accomplishments, and making them feel inferior with negative comments.
“The best thing you can do is to show others and your perpetrator that their opinions, gossip, disapproval, and slander do not phase you,” Laborcé read from Perry’s book. “Also, it’s best to weigh things out. If you believe the truth will always come to light, then the perpetrator's deeds will be revealed in due time.”
2. The snake
“This is the person who is double-minded,” Laborcé read. “They’ll put a bad word in for you … Even if they seem sweet on the outside, there will be something insidious going on inside.”
A 2017 research article published in the journal for the Society of Personality and Social Psychology argued that because envy is motivated by a yearning for superiority, “snake” personalities are often fueled by subconscious and insidious tactics for climbing the social hierarchy — even if it means playing the long game.
The article noted, “Any direct aggression may undermine the envier’s chances to rise in the hierarchy. Therefore, tactics that are subtle and indirect are more beneficial."
3. The provoker
The “provoker” personality type thrives on the inferiority of their target, specifically when they’re able to cause that discomfort. “They aim to evoke negative responses from their target,” Laborcé noted. “They thrive when their prey appears to be disheveled, angry, distressed, sad, or depressed.”
In a 2012 study on college roommates, researchers found that in the same way happiness is contagious, so is depression. What they also found was that negativity spreads, which is why giving a provoker any sort of power can be incredibly dangerous.
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Just like gossip spreads, negative perceptions can spread, too. A provoker can not only make you feel worse about yourself, but they can also make others believe that you are inferior.
4. The leech
You’ve probably heard the term “emotional leech” before, especially if you’ve previously had a toxic friend or an exceptionally envious family member. This “leech” personality type struggles to allow other people in their lives to thrive without taking a piece of their success.
When you get a promotion at work, they want to know what you’re going to buy them. After you move into a new place with a guest bedroom, they’re the first person to come stay — arguing that “you have the space,” so stop being selfish.
They leech every last drop of excitement and attention from you until your self-worth and confidence are completely drained.
5. The malicious mentor
The “malicious mentor” is a person in leadership who controls people to ensure they don’t succeed unless they are somehow involved. “They need you to always need them,” Laborcé said. If you branch out, make new connections, or find opportunities that don’t involve them, they’ll do anything to hinder them.
The malicious mentor usually holds a position of power so they know exactly how to block your success unless it directly benefits them.
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"What makes this person dangerous is they generally don’t hate the target," Perry wrote in her book. "Their insecurities or abandonment issues keep them from allowing those who they’re supposed to be helping to reach their highest potential."
The more codependent they can be in the relationship, the better. It gives them the control to truly “make or break” the people around them.
6. The hall monitor
“Their goal is to get close to their objects of envy and monitor their downfall,” Laborcé noted. “A hall monitor will only engage in objects of envy to assess damage … If they see that their target is thriving, they’ll stick around long enough to sabotage.”
Often, people with “hall monitor” friends and family need to go “no contact” to find peace and healing — whether that means blocking them on social media, not texting them back, or finding ways to avoid their presence at work, school, or public spaces.
Normal conflict resolution tactics are often ineffective when it comes to envious personality types. Still, through awareness and by setting boundaries, you can better protect yourself when you encounter them.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories