4 Common Traits Of Single Moms That Prove They’re Stronger Than The Average Person
They are the unsung heroes of modern-day society.
fizkes | Shutterstock Single moms truly do it all, often without a modicum of acknowledgment. They wake up bright and early to pack lunches, mop the juice spills off the floor, and get their children dressed, fed, and on the bus for school — all while getting themselves ready to tackle another day.
Single moms do the jobs of both parents and somehow make it look effortless. Their impressive strength is certainly something we should all strive to embody.
Here are 4 common traits of single moms that prove they’re stronger than the average person:
1. Resilient
Single mom and content creator Amber Henry pointed out that being a single mom "usually means you left a situation that was not right for you or your kids."
It is a daunting endeavor to begin a new chapter as a single parent, no matter how unhealthy your current situation is. Ultimately, you must do what is best for yourself and your kids; however, that doesn't mean it will be easy. In fact, it will likely be incredibly difficult.
“You should be proud of yourself that you were able to do that, because a lot of women, a lot of people, can't or won't,” Henry said.
Leaving something that you and your kids are familiar with, even if it is toxic, requires a lot of courage, and starting a new life afterward demands resilience. You must be able to bounce back, not just for your own sake, but for that of your kids.
2. Self-sufficient
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From getting the kids to school and fighting with them at bedtime to cooking all of their meals and paying for their hobbies, single moms definitely have their plates full. They financially and physically support their children, often with minimal to no assistance.
According to data from the Annie E. Casey Foundation, less than a quarter of single-mom families receive child support payments. This means that most single moms have to juggle jobs while also managing their children's schedules and caretaking.
“Do you know how hard it is to do everything by yourself?” Henry asked. “To hold up a house financially, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and still feed into the little beans that are around you?”
3. Patient
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Even parents who have support know how difficult it can be to remain patient with their children. However, most single moms cannot step away for even a moment as they do not have a partner who can pick up the slack when their patience wanes.
“You have to have more patience than the average parent," Henry insisted. "You just do, because when you're by yourself physically there's no moment to give to another person to say, ‘Hey, I need a minute. I need to collect myself.'"
“You have to do all of that in the moment in the stressful time, and you just have to harness more patience than you would if you had a partner in your home,” she continued.
Parents know all too well how challenging it is to keep your cool when the kids are driving you to your wit’s end. Without a partner to call for backup, patience is paramount.
4. Selfless
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They say it takes a village to raise children, but not every single mom has one to rely on. This can be a lonely and isolating experience, even in the good moments. They may have no one to share their joy with when their child takes their first steps or relate to their stress when their kid is being bullied at school.
Yet single moms put on a brave face for their kids. They act with their children's needs in mind, even when they are sad, stressed, and struggling. That requires a selfless nature.
Despite all of the struggles that come with being a single mom, Henry insisted that there are small moments during the journey that make the most difficult ones less painful.
“Your kids, even if they don't say it, if they can't talk yet, or if they just don't recognize it, they're grateful. They're gonna grow up and be grateful,” she said. “You dug deep and continue to dig deep in those moments so that they can benefit and they don't feel the absence of another figure being in the home.”
Henry reminded single moms to celebrate all of their achievements and give themselves credit for doing the impossible.
“It's important to remember that you're doing a great job," she said. "You're doing a very hard job and you're worthy of celebrating yourself and making sure that you pat yourself on the back too!”
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.