Mom Says Single Mothers Are ‘Robbed Of Motherhood’ — ‘We Rarely Get To Enjoy Our Children’
Many single moms feel like they carry so much responsibility that there's no room left for the fun parts of parenting.
JLco Julia Amaral | Shutterstock Being a single mother is one of the hardest jobs. Some choose this difficult title, while others have it chosen for them by fate.
Unlike single fathers, who are venerated for simply being parents, single moms don’t get a lot of credit. And unfortunately, they don’t get nearly enough quality time with their children, either.
One mom claimed that single mothers really don’t get the time to 'enjoy' their children.
A TikToker named Jillian shared her thoughts on single motherhood, causing other moms to chime in with their own musings.
A woman named Shelly shared an interesting perspective in the comments.“I feel like many of us are robbed of motherhood,” she said. “We rarely get to enjoy our children as single mothers.”
Jillian’s video was telling itself. In an eight-second clip, she simply stated, “I’mma go ahead and say it because I know a lot of y’all are thinking it. If I would have known that I was going to be a single mother, I would have never had children.”
Other single moms agreed, sharing that had they known the struggle, they wouldn't have had children.
Jillian captioned the video, “I didn’t sign up for it. For real.”
Many other commenters shared sentiments similar to Jillian and Shelly’s.
A woman named Hannah said, “I’m 23. I decided at 19 that I will never have children because I don’t want to be a single mother, and there’s literally no way to guarantee that won’t happen except not having children at all.”
“And I did everything the ‘right way,’” another TikToker named Eminence said. “Got my degrees, stable career, married my childhood friend and still here I am.”
The overall feeling from the comments on Jillian’s video was that many women shared her thoughts but were never comfortable speaking them.
One struggle single moms face is handling their family’s finances alone.
An analysis from the Center for American Progress found that there are 7.3 million single mothers in the United States. That makes up a total of four out of five single parents.
Based on this data, there are many more single moms than dads, and many are struggling. The analysis also found that 28% of single mothers live in poverty.
75 percent of single moms work full-time but only bring in about $40,000 a year. This is part of the heart of single mothers’ problems, the Center said.
ALINA MATVEYCHEVA | Pexels
“Single mothers face the challenge of being their families’ breadwinners and caregivers, and the rise in dual-income families, in which both parents work, puts single-mother families at a comparative disadvantage in terms of family earnings,” they said.
Because single mothers have full financial responsibility on their shoulders, there is much less time for the “fun” side of parenting — going on outings, volunteering at school, playing games, and the like. Instead, most, if not all, of their time is devoted to creating the most financially stable environment possible for their children.
When all of your energy is focused on what’s necessary, other things tend to fall by the wayside.
There is no division of labor in families with a single mom.
Division of labor, the idea that all responsibilities for a family or household should be split evenly in a marriage, is considered one of the most important factors for a happy marriage. Pew Research Center found that “62% of adults say sharing household chores is very important to marital success.”
For single moms, however, there is no division of labor because there is no partner to divide it with.
Because single mothers carry so much responsibility, the parts of parenthood that they may “enjoy” are largely out of reach for them.
This is unfair and yet another example of the support single moms need from society that they simply don't get.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.