11 Things That Used To Be Common Sense But Are Now Considered Problematic
As times change, so do expectations. What was once good is bad, and the bad suddenly becomes good.
Anatoliy Karlyuk / Shutterstock On this planet, we are all collectively trying to do the best we can with the information we have. Everyone has a different perspective, right or wrong, and they act based on that viewpoint in what they believe to be their best interests. As we grow and evolve as a species, our knowledge expands, and we try to make better decisions.
Because of this, many things that we once widely accepted and saw as normal or common sense are now looked at as problematic, harmful, or inappropriate. This is due to a much greater awareness of social issues, a stronger emphasis on diversity, equity, and inclusion, and ever-changing cultural values. What didn't even raise an eyebrow before will make people clutch their pearls.
Here is a list of 11 things that used to be common sense but are now considered problematic
1. Corporal punishment
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Believe it or not, you might have been considered a bad parent if you didn't physically discipline your children back in the day. You remember the bible verse, "Spare the rod, spoil the child." Well, parents took that very seriously and literally, and it was not uncommon at all to face the belt when you got out of line. Teachers used paddles on students, and that was perfectly acceptable.
But, you live and you learn, so we eventually figured out that violence might not be the best solution to behavioral issues. And some adults were outright abusive to the kids who were entrusted to them. Many child development experts deter caregivers from using corporal punishment as a form of discipline. At best, it doesn't work, and at worst, it does serious harm to children.
2. Smoking in public
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It used to be that you could pull out a cigarette on a plane, in a restaurant, in an office, or even at a hospital. People were not fully aware of the detrimental harm that smoking could do. And even those of us who didn't indulge we subjected to second-hand smoke, oblivious to the fact that our lungs would fare no better than those who did.
However, as people witnessed the detrimental impact on the health of those we loved, it became apparent that we needed to limit our exposure. It started by not even allowing the habit indoors anymore. Policies popped up, keeping smokers at least 25 feet from a building. Then people began to stare in judgment when someone lit up. The dwindling acceptance caused people to come up with more inconspicuous methods like vapes. People understand the risks and most want no part of it.
3. Racial stereotyping and other forms of discrimination
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It's crazy for me to think that my parents and grandparents had to turn on the television and watch cartoons, films, and shows with characters who donned blackface. The ultra-exaggerated stereotypes that were broadcast were seen as innocent humor by those who weren't being made fun of. But for the people who were being subjugated because of their race or the color of their skin, the pain was deep and long-lasting.
Circumstances like that and the many other discriminatory offenses that happen to people based on their protected characteristics like race, religion, gender, age, or disability caused the world to wake up and set an intention to treat everyone equally. Many of the things that seemed to be harmless fun for some are now regarded as super racist and offensive to others.
4. Bullying to build character
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Remember when little boys got roughed up to make them tough? They were expected to withstand physical attacks if they ever hoped to become a real man. Break a bone? Suck it up. Get hurt by someone twice your size? Shake it off. They are just trying to make you stronger in case someone else messes with you. It was a vicious cycle of violence that turned boys into angry young men.
We now know of the long-term psychological impact of being challenged physically on a regular basis and denied an opportunity to be vulnerable or express your emotions. And don't forget the fear associated with being bullied. Kids who are subjected to this toxic rite of passage are more likely to become anxious or depressed and to isolate away from other kids to avoid being harmed or embarrassed.
5. Body shaming
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Fatphobia used to be expected due to delusional body standards that the fact that women were only intended to be pretty ornaments on their men's arms, and maintain a service-oriented attitude. Keep a smile on his face and keep your BMI low. Joking about or insulting another person's weight was so common and very normalized.
It didn't take long for us to realize that people come in all shapes and sizes, and how they turn out is a combination of genetics and overall lifestyle. Just because you don't like yourself with a little cushion doesn't mean it's a problem for someone else. People are even realizing that it is just as damaging to make fun of how skinny a person is as it is to call them fat. Both have a big impact on mental health.
6. Cultural appropriation
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Wearing indigenous headdresses or dreadlocks without a clear context used to be common. You saw a trend that you like in someone else, and you swagger-jacked them, making it your own. You had no idea what the cultural significance was or the history behind the practice. Before we got our minds right, everyone could represent any culture, whether they were a part of it or not.
Now, people get called out for disrespecting the cultural significance of certain actions and habits. Just because you like a particular thing doesn't mean you can make it your own. You don't have the right to put on other people's culture like a Halloween costume and take it off when it no longer suits you. It's okay to admire some things from afar. You don't have to center yourself in every situation.
7. Giving your kids too much autonomy
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Giving kids the ability to move about unsupervised used to be common sense. They needed to grow up and learn how to fend for themselves. Yes, you might be worried here and there, but overall, you gave them the autonomy to do what they wanted as long as they got back home before dark. But we were totally unaware of just how dangerous the streets can be.
With so many dangers out there, like bad people, peer pressure, and violence, we decided somewhere along the way that we might want to keep better tabs on them. We were giving our kids much more credit than they had earned, putting them in grown-up positions when they still needed nurturing, consistent support, and regular monitoring.
8. Homophobia
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At one point, admitting that you preferred people of the same gender was likely to make you the black sheep of the family. You would become the target of jokes and meanness by people who just didn't agree with who you were. If you were exposed or forced out of the closet against your will, you could be shunned and isolated.
But now we know that you like men or women, it's really none of our business, and the condition is not contagious. We all have different preferences, so what makes mine any better than yours? We all deserve respect, acceptance, and love. Just because you preemptively place your expectations on a person and it didn't pan out, doesn't mean it's time to go ballistic. Whether you birthed them or not, people you love are not minions here to do your bidding.
9. Workplace discrimination and harassment
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Boy, how times have changed. Before there were any rules and regulations to prevent people from discriminating or harassing others at work, jobs were a battlefield where you tried your best but still ran into situations that you would never succeed in. Women had to get used to being objectified while earning a living. And people of color had to work twice as hard to get the bare minimum.
But workplace policies and laws have been implemented to stop discrimination in its tracks. Gone are the days when you could bring your kitchen table talk to the job site. You had to keep your divisive remarks at home, where no one except your partners in problematic behaviors co-signed the mindset. Creating this kind of dysfunction at work is penalized and oftentimes results in a monetary award for the victim, and rightfully so.
10. Child labor
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When I think about children in film, television, and music, kids like Shirley Temple, Gary Coleman, Raven-Symoné, and Justin Bieber come to mind. It used to be that, due to their talent, children were treated like mature, responsible adults and had little oversight. They might be in the studio all night or traveling with an adult while still a minor.
Then there are the kids who are used for cheap labor, and because they are less likely to challenge authority. That alone should have let us know that we were not acting in our kids' best interest. Children should be allowed to grow up at a controlled pace. They shouldn't be exposed to adult responsibilities, financial dependency, and stranger danger before they have even fully developed their frontal cortex.
11. Doing pranks without consent
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In the not-too-recent future, pranking someone when they did not see it coming was found hilarious. It was common sense that a good joke or a laugh at someone else's expense should happen by surprise. Hidden camera shows were intended to humiliate people without their consent. They found themselves in the most embarrassing situation they had ever encountered, and it stuck with them forever.
Greater sensitivity to people's personal boundaries emerged, and we understood that we must get permission before forcing people into the limelight or a position that they never asked for. And catching someone off guard can lead to unintended consequences. Who can forget Jenny Jones' March 1995 guest, Jonathan Schmitz? He went on to meet someone who had a crush on him and fully anticipated a beautiful woman. When his friend, Scott Amedure, confessed his love instead, the shame that followed led Jonathan to do the unthinkable. It's hard to foresee another person's reaction to being backed into a corner.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that deliver informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
