15 Things The Smartest Women Do Before They Turn 40
How to feel fulfilled and balanced before the big 4-0.
Ground Picture | Shutterstock The big 4-0. It will come before you know it. So, in the meantime, you must live your thirties to the fullest.
The thirties are fabulous because you're settled in who you are and, in many cases, settled in a career. You're not a newbie or a "youngin" anymore, but you're still vivacious enough to take risks and go out for a night of fun, and your age makes you adored by young and old.
Your confidence is more attractive than your wrinkle-free, 20-year-old face, and you know it. Your friendships are established, and while you're still interested in exploring yourself and the world, you know where you're headed or where you want to go.
Here are 15 things the smartest women do before they turn 40:
1. Ask for a raise and get the pay you deserve.
You've worked hard, so why not? You've paid your dues after being in your field or position for a while. Ask for the raise and get the salary you want now, so it pays off when you ask for another raise or move to another job with better pay.
2. Make the first move and own your confidence.
When we were 21, we didn't want the people our age. But as you get older, they start to seem sweeter and hotter, and in general, they are. Your confidence and experience humble and excite them. If you're single, make the first move with someone who attracts you.
"Internal confusion and insecurity are two reasons why women (and men) don't take the next step in starting a relationship or deepening the commitment in an existing relationship. [...] Take regular time to know what you want and are open to. This will change, so don't assume that just because casually dating with no strings was okay with you three months ago, it is still OK with you today," advised relationship coaches Susie & Otto Collins.
3. Build your healthiest, strongest self now.
Many of you will have or have had kids, so take your thirties to build the healthy and strong body you want. If you do this now, you will be fitter and healthier for life. And if you're thinking about having kids but haven't yet, getting into shape now means you'll be healthier for pregnancy later, as explored by a Women's Studies International Forum study. You want to be strong for life. Take care now while you've got the energy to make a healthy body.
4. Travel abroad and explore new cultures.
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Grab a friend or partner (leave the kids with grandma) and travel to a place outside your country to experience something new. If you have the means, enjoy a new culture.
5. Start a skincare routine to keep glowing.
Ladies, you should have been exfoliating and moisturizing by your twenties, but many people start late in life. Get into a good routine now. You can't prevent aging, but you can keep yourself from going down hard with good care.
6. Push for a mammogram if cancer runs in your family.
If you have a serious history of breast cancer, nudge every doctor who you can to get a slip for your first mammogram. After having some pain in my breasts and a family history of breast cancer, I'm glad I did rather than wait until 40 for my first mammogram, as suggested by data from
the Journal of the National Cancer Institute.
7. Freeze your eggs if you want kids later.
If you're past a certain point in your thirties and you want kids, freeze your eggs if you can afford to.
8. Leave toxic relationships and put yourself first.
Are you in an unhealthy marriage? Get out now. You'll have plenty of time to meet a new partner and start over. Plus, you won't kill more of your soul than you already have. If you have kids, leave even faster. Kids don't need to live in a toxic home.
9. Celebrate yourself with a boudoir photoshoot.
Try placing the camera on a tripod or ask a trusted friend or a professional for some stunning shots. It might seem wild, but I remember how critical I was of my body at 25. Now, I think, "Why was I so hard on myself?" Capture these moments so one day, you can look back and say, "Wow, I looked amazing!"
10. Quit bad habits and start fresh now.
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Smoking? Drinking? Compulsive eating? Whatever your bad habit is, now is the time to quit it. The more time accrues with this dirty habit, the more your life and health are wasted. And now you're young enough to recuperate and start fresh.
Plus, if you're married, this habit could impact your marriage; if you're not, it could be why you aren't involved with someone. Sometimes, our habits become our lovers, and that's not always good.
11. Cut out haters and embrace who you are.
Are you not having kids? Are you never getting married? Are you ready to come out of the closet? No matter the case, tell the people who are "haters" where to go and cut them from your life. You don't need to go with the grain. The grain is dull anyway. Own who you are and love it.
12. Plan how you want to raise your kids.
If you're about to raise a kid or are raising children, make peace with your spiritual and religious viewpoints and decide now, before the kids get older, how they will be raised. Don't start making kids and then backtrack on how to raise them. You and your partner should be on track with this ahead of time.
13. Stay on top of your health and checkups.
Get yearly physicals and annual blood work, and please check your hormones and thyroid levels, as supported by research in the Biology of Reproduction Journal. Those are two issues women tend to have, so be on top of it now.
14. Leave your terrible job and find better work.
If you hate your job now, you better find a way to transition into something else before you turn 40. The longer we stay in a field, the harder it is to get out.
15. Stop wasting time with people who hold you back.
Is your fiancé taking forever to say "I do?" Is your partner meandering and having no desire to further the commitment? Don't waste your thirties and possible forties with this fool. Dump them.
Laura Lifshitz writes about divorce, relationships, parenting, and marriage for YourTango, The New York Times, Women’s Health, Working Mother, and Pop Sugar.