3 Things Smart Women Learn From Being Single That Make Them Amazing Wives (Someday)
Embracing singlehood and practicing self-love can lead to healthier, happier romantic relationships.
Ave Calvar | Unsplash Looking back, I remember my single life full of lonely nights, anxious thoughts of uncertainty and constant avoidance of happy couples. But I was also working on myself, and I'm glad I did.
The work I did when I was single has been the core foundation of my current relationship. For every escalated argument, an immediate apology follows. For every recurring issue that arises, a 5-10-minute sit-down discussion is planned. Being alone for five years taught me patience, to embrace differences, and to love as hard as possible; it’s certainly been the secret to my success.
If you're in this position, take advantage of this time to grow as a person. It'll pay off for you regardless of where you land.
Three lessons smart women learn while single that make them amazing wives
1. The importance of staying true to yourself.
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Relationships are stereotypically known as a partnership between two people. Being single taught me there is still equal value in the level of individuality with the one you’re dating.
Being alone has shown me that there is immense power in staying true to who you are. I’ve learned that to have a healthy relationship with someone else, you cannot lose yourself in the romance.
Being single empowers who you are now and who you’ll slowly start to become. Celebrating every doubt, fear, and withhold you have about yourself and turning them into your strongest qualities.
Overall, it’s taught me the importance of never losing sight of who you are, how self-love will never stop even in the happiest of relationships, and how you will always be yours before you are anyone else’s.
2. How to solve problems and manage conflicts.
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When it comes to arguments and misunderstandings, we as a society are used to seeing two people who look like they want to rip each other’s hair out. Single life has taught me that problems should never be ignored, as dealing with them the minute they arise is the best way to ensure they never come back.
Being alone has taught me not to be afraid when things become difficult. It’s taught me to stand firm amid chaos and to fight for the things that matter most. Overall, it’s shown me the importance of accepting the worst but hoping for the best.
It taught me how to maintain respect and love for the sake of the one you love and always apologize when you’ve done something wrong. We truly are only human, after all.
3. How to be compassionate and empathetic.
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Spending five years admitting my faults, facing my insecurities, and turning my weaknesses into strengths undoubtedly transformed me into a more compassionate person. None of us will ever be perfect, therefore I’ve learned that expecting too much from someone is completely absurd.
Being alone has reinforced the foundation of my relationship: I constantly feel what the other person feels, especially if we dare to cross the boundaries of respect. It’s taught me how to pick my battles wisely – how sometimes letting go of who’s right in the argument will eventually succumb to what the right thing to do is instead.
Overall, it’s shown me the value of surrendering, selflessness, and loving someone unconditionally.
All those years ago, I never thought I’d be writing about how being alone was good for me. I never thought I’d promote the importance of honesty, but I also never thought it would lead me to my dream relationship.
Honestly, I could not be prouder of everything my relationship has overcome these past few years. I couldn’t be happier to be with someone whose heart is as strong as mine. And I couldn’t be more pleased with my journey, as everything worked out in the end.
Nicole Garbanzos is a freelance writer whose bylines have appeared in ELLE Canada, Living Luxe Magazine, MSN, Thought Catalog, Yahoo Style, and Goalcast, among others.