7 Tiny Qualities People Who Stay True To Themselves Have (That Others Don't)
Here's how you can be your most authentic self.
KatarinaGondova, Andrea Piacquadio | Canva When you learn how to love yourself, you can start living a more authentic life — and it benefits you in so many ways. If you feel trapped by the demands of your life, you’re probably yearning for the benefits of authenticity so you can be happy. The pull to be perfect at everything in front of everyone else is exhausting, stressful, depressing, confusing, and confining.
This is the life you know and it’s wearing you out physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Fake people are everywhere and you feel like one of them. Yet, is yearning for the nebulous benefits of authenticity enough to risk the displeasure of all those who have come to depend on you being who they want you to be? Once you gain the clarity necessary to make an informed decision about being your authentic self, you can start living an authentic and happy life. On your journey of learning how to love yourself, here are the 7 benefits that people who live an authentic life experience every day — and you can, too!
Here are 7 tiny qualities people who stay true to themselves have that others don't:
1. More self-confidence and self-respect
When you live your life authentically, it requires that you make the effort to know yourself. A funny thing happens when you take the time to do that: you discover that you’re a wonderful person with amazing talents, dreams, and perspective. Once you connect with your innate internal magnificence, you start to feel better about yourself. When you feel better about yourself, it’s easier to honor yourself by being. This is your confidence growing. As your self-confidence grows, you’ll be less likely to compromise yourself by doing things only to make others feel good. And the result of this is that you’ll gain self-respect.
2. More respect from others
As you express your truth more consistently — instead of parroting the truths you believe those you’re with want to hear from you — you’ll discover that people will start to respect you more. Just as you respect those who consistently express themselves, regardless of shared perspective, others will respect your authenticity. Respect from those closest to you may take a while, as they are used to having you look to them to define your truth.
3. Greater resilience
Coping with life becomes much easier when you choose to live authentically. Instead of worrying about others’ responses (and your ability to mitigate them), you’ll focus first on self-care and honoring your values. With this focus, it’s much easier to weather whatever life brings your way.
4. More enriching relationships
When you begin to be more yourself in all situations, you’ll discover that your relationships change. Some relationships will end, some will transform, and new ones will blossom. Your existing relationships will change because you’re being more "you" instead of being who others want you to be. Some people will applaud you and your ability to more consistently express yourself.
These are the relationships that will grow and nurture you in ways you can’t yet imagine. Some people, however, aren’t ready to accept responsibility for meeting their own needs without relying on you to meet them. These relationships will wither. They may even die. As you continue courageously being yourself and loving yourself, you’ll find new people are naturally drawn to you. And you’ll have the opportunity to create new nurturing, supportive relationships.
5. A more passionate life
Authenticity is the key to feeling more alive. When you’re trying to be who others want you to be, you’re stuck living their lives and not yours. You’re doing what they want you to do instead of doing what you want to do. You’re thinking the thoughts you know they’ll approve of instead of the ones that support yown point of view. When you start doing the things and thinking the thoughts that are more accurate reflections of who you are, you’ll feel impassioned about your life again and start living toward your potential.
6. Less regret later in life
One of the amazing benefits of living authentically now is that you’ll have fewer regrets later in life. According to a report in The Guardian, the top 5 regrets of the dying include living a life others expected of them, working too hard to be present with their families, not having the courage to express their feelings, not staying in touch with their friends, and preventing themselves from being happier. This list of regrets is profound. But, you can avoid each of these regrets in every moment you choose to authenticity.
7. A happier and more optimistic lifestyle
It’s true. Consistently feeling depressed and negative is impossible when you’re living the life you’re meant to live. And you live your life to the fullest when you’re expressing yourself as 100 percent you. Now that you know the benefits of living authentically, you might still wonder if making the necessary changes are worth it. That’s okay. Many find it difficult to let go of the life they know.
Learning to love yourself is not always the easiest thing to do, as we're used to putting others' comfort before our own. But, it is key to learning how to be happy in life. There is a certain comfort that comes with the status quo, even if you do feel imprisoned by your life. Your feelings of anxiety, confusion, depression, helplessness, and anger are your norm. Yet, if you can use your anger to ignite your courage and authentic expression, living a happier and more fulfilling life is possible.
Lisa Lieberman-Wang is a relationship expert, and author, and has been seen by millions on ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, and CW as their Success Strategist, Relationship, & Breakthrough Expert. She’s spoken on some of the most prestigious stages, including Harvard University, the Navy, Women Leading the Future, and more.