8 Signs You Really Intimidate Others Without Even Realizing It, According To Psychology
People don't know how to act around you.
Jacob Lund | Shutterstock If you have ever been told you’re intimidating at a time when you just knew you were being sweet as pie, you are not alone. It’s impossible to see yourself through the eyes of others, so even when you don’t know it, you may come off as intimidating to others.
A person with a strong personality can make people feel insecure without ever even knowing. Without signs like avoiding eye contact or awkward body language, it’s hard to know when people feel uncomfortable around you. How do you know if you have an intimidating personality?
If you are the type of person that people are intimidated by, you may not be challenged when making suggestions; people may just go along with what you say to keep the peace. If people are standoffish when you talk to them or seem nervous or flustered during your interactions, you might be scaring them to death.
Here are the signs you intimidate others without even realizing it:
1. People avoid making eye contact
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An obvious sign that someone is intimidated by you is a lack of eye contact. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul and there is no way they are letting you get a peek into theirs.
They could be looking around at anything except you while you are conversing. They might pretend to be busy shuffling through papers or looking through their phone — anything to keep from looking into your eyes.
2. People are afraid to speak up around you
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When a person is intimidated by you, you might be the last person in the world they want to be talking to right now.
If you notice that you are the only person bringing your thoughts and ideas to the conversation, others might be afraid to speak up. Or, you might be the kind of person that sucks up all the air in the room.
When people avoid conversation with you or seem unusually quiet in your presence, it can be a sign that they perceive you as intimidating. A 2020 study revealed that this is because a lack of communication often indicates discomfort or a sense of power imbalance, where someone feels hesitant to engage with you due to your perceived dominance or authority.
3. If a person does speak up, their voice is almost inaudible
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People with confidence tend to project their voices when speaking. They are confident in their ideas and have no qualms about sharing them.
When people are intimidated, they talk in hushed voices, afraid of being rejected or thinking they are not smart enough to contribute. This can also come across as abnormally high-pitched voices when people are intimidated by you.
4. People tend to be agreeable around you
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There are people out there who love to surround themselves with "yes" men and women. If someone you know agrees with everything you say or do, they just might be intimidated by you.
People come from various walks of life and socio-economic backgrounds. There should always be diversity of opinion when discussing plans and concepts.
If no one objects to your suggestions and people go along to get along, you may be intimidating. They are afraid to step on your toes with answers or objections you may not approve of.
When someone is excessively agreeable in your presence, it can sometimes be interpreted as a sign that they perceive you as intimidating.
A study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that they might be attempting to avoid conflict or appear submissive to someone they see as more powerful or dominant. This behavior is often linked to a desire to appease or not challenge your authority.
5. People keep a distance from you
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Who wants to be close to a person they are afraid of? If you notice that someone is keeping their distance when you are around them, you could have an intimidating personality.
They may stay across the room to avoid coming into contact with you, take the seat furthest away from yours, or retreat when they see you coming. This is a clear sign they are intimidated by you.
6. People over-apologize around you
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Everyone has met the "over-apologizer" at least once in their life. They bump into you and say sorry. They get in front of you in line and apologize. If you are hearing the word "sorry" too much from someone, you might be intimidating.
It is normal to apologize when you hurt or offend people. But some trivial things don’t require an apology. Over-apologizing lets you know that someone is intimidated when you’re around.
While there isn't a single definitive study directly addressing this concept, psychological research suggests that when someone excessively apologizes, it can often be a sign of feeling small, insecure, or even intimidated by the other person, potentially interpreting your presence as a threat due to perceived power dynamics or a strong personality.
A 2010 study concluded that while frequent apologies can sometimes indicate feeling intimidated, it's crucial to consider the context and individual personality before making assumptions.
7. People are nervous and fidgety around you
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Have you ever assumed someone was socially awkward because their facial expressions were all over the place and they couldn’t seem to stay still during a conversation? It could be that they were simply intimidated by your existence.
Being around someone you are afraid of or don’t like can be nerve-wracking. The anxiety this causes can make you fidget in an attempt to avoid "confronting" your fear.
Take it as a signal that your personality may intimidate others. When someone appears nervous around you, like avoiding eye contact, fidgeting, or speaking quietly, it can often be interpreted as a sign that they perceive you as intimidating.
According to a 2022 study, nervousness can stem from feeling threatened or inferior in someone's presence, often due to their insecurities or perceptions of your power dynamics. This is especially true with nonverbal cues like defensive body language or a hesitant tone.
8. People are paranoid are you
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Insecure people can be paranoid, especially around someone who intimidates them. If a person you know always assumes you are out to get them or is taking sides against them, you intimidate him or her.
Maybe you are a go-getter who is always making moves to enhance your life and they think you will look out for yourself at all costs. This could lead them to believe you are against them, no matter what the real circumstances are.
Intimidation is very subjective because what might be intimidating to one person could be inspirational to another.
If you believe someone is intimidated by you and, after analysis, decide that you are perpetuating that view with your actions, make the necessary changes to be more open and welcoming.
On the other hand, if you are doing nothing to cause someone to fear or be intimidated by you, it may be time for them to see a counselor or life coach to deal with their insecurities.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.