4 Signs Someone Is Faking A Connection With You
Be wary of those who seem disingenuous.
Mix Tape | Shutterstock Living in a digital age, many of us lack deeper, more intimate connections with others. The impact of social media and the advancement of technology has made some of our relationships significantly superficial.
It’s important to ascertain whether the people we let into our lives are genuinely connecting with us or if they’re faking it.
A licensed therapist shared four common signs someone in your life is faking a connection with you:
A licensed therapist, Todd Baratz, shared a post on Instagram highlighting the warning signs your friendship lacks depth and authenticity.
1. They’re emotionally distant
If you make an effort to open up with a friend, and they seem to struggle to understand and connect with your emotions, appearing indifferent, dismissive, or detached, they may be emotionally distant.
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This is a natural response for individuals who may be weary of trusting others at the beginning of a friendship or relationship, so it’s important to be mindful and approach topics lightly in these cases.
However, forming strong connections with others involves a certain level of transparency and vulnerability. If someone continues to dodge your efforts to connect on a deeper level, offering vague responses or changing the subject, this implies they’re faking a connection.
2. Conversations with them are surface-level
In the absence of meaningful conversations that enhance connection, these individuals likely only participate in shallow discussions. Their interests might seem to revolve around superficial topics about themselves, like their appearance and reputation, as a means for attention.
They rarely divulge any information about their personal feelings, thoughts, and experiences, and you likely don’t know much about them beneath the surface.
While these signs of surface-level connections indicate fake and narcissistic tendencies, most of the conversations we have with others nowadays tend to lack this same depth.
Unfortunately, this struggle for connection has become all too common in America particularly.
“I feel like this is something that we’re all missing, this deeper-level connection that we are all craving, but no one wants to take that step,” Alejandro Caceres shared honestly in a TikTok. “I think we have to make others feel safe before we can open up to each other.”
3. They act engaged for the sake of appearance
Rather than appearing genuinely interested and emotionally invested in you, a strong sign of a fake connection is when individuals seem to be acting engaged to maintain a certain impression.
It’s important to note that many individuals may not always be able to give their full attention and energy to others for personal reasons, and they may feel the need to mask themselves to maintain a positive image.
However, someone’s efforts might be performative and manipulative if they only seem interested in your friendship when they want something from you or if celebrating your friendship boosts their ego. They might additionally confuse you by showering you with compliments before asking for favors while they criticize you behind your back.
If it feels wrong and ingenuine, trust your instincts.
4. They withhold personal insights
Keeping personal feelings and thoughts to yourself is not always a sign of a fake connection; rather, you simply prefer to keep some things private. It’s natural to avoid disclosing certain details about your personal life, as people don’t always need to know everything, especially since others’ energies may interfere with your own ideas and plans.
However, when it comes to those who have narcissistic tendencies, keeping personal insights hidden is quite common and reveals their unwillingness to let others know who they really are.
One man, who goes by @kingcrowder.1 on TikTok, posted a video highlighting why “fake people” struggle to open up honestly and how this correlates with their inability to accept themselves.
“Fake people hate people that are truly honest and vulnerable with themselves,” he said. “It’s the lies and dishonesty that keeps them feeling good about themselves and their lives. When it’s time to have a real conversation and express real feelings, you will see them fade away because that honesty and vulnerability is hard to deal with.”
Some of these signs may imply a deeper issue, addressing a strong disconnect between our communities.
Many individuals in the comments of Baratz’s post made some compelling points, suggesting that many people revert to these seemingly “fake” methods of connection as a means of self-preservation.
In reality, we aren’t meant to connect with everyone we meet, but we may still cross paths often.
When it comes to casual acquaintances and colleagues, we may not be able to connect on a deeper level because our energies are simply not aligned or compatible. In these cases, people resort to this superficial performance, rarely revealing anything below the surface.
Additionally, as social media and artificial intelligence continue to grow and expand, a lot of our communities are growing further apart.
Sometimes people are not fully aware of their emotionally distant and surface-level ways — it’s just an element of a progressively individualistic and asocial society. Especially following the pandemic, some individuals simply don’t know how to connect anymore, which is why it’s important to step outside your comfort zone.
Ask people questions about themselves — more often than not, they will love the opportunity to share their stories. And if they don’t, move on, and trust you will find the people who are aligned with your energy.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.