Psychologist Argues Dating Apps ‘Severely Disconnect’ Gen Zers Based On Looks — ‘Some People Have All The Choices’
He explained that dating apps have created a rift between men and women when it comes to romantic relationships.
Studio Romantic / Shutterstock In this modern world of dating, apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble have become the most common way for young adults to meet new people and either find love or, in some cases, friendships.
It's become almost abnormal to meet people at real-life events, but with the rise of dating apps comes a whole new bunch of problems.
A psychologist argued that dating apps 'severely disconnect' Gen Zers based on looks.
During an interview with The Wall Street Journal on TikTok, Jonathan Haidt, a psychologist and professor at New York University's Stern School of Business opened up about the reality of dating apps and the unintended consequences that they're having on the romantic lives of Gen Zers.
"The dating apps create a terrible dynamic for men where a small number of men get all of the invitations, and that means they can become jerks," Haidt observed. "They can be rude. They can date multiple women. And then the women feel men are jerks."
Haidt's explanation about dating apps and the massive gap between the experiences that women have on them versus men holds a lot of truth. According to a poll conducted by YouGov, men are markedly more likely to say their experience on these match-making apps has been good (55% vs 37%). Nearly two in five women say their experience has been bad.
Exactly half of all American women who currently use online dating apps say the profiles they have generally come across are not very appealing or not appealing at all. This sentiment is shared by only 29% of men, who are more than twice as likely to say that the profiles they see are “very appealing” (28% vs 12%).
On top of that, there are also many more factors that women have to consider when using dating apps, especially when it comes to safety and protection.
On the other hand, Haidt pointed out that men on dating apps often don't get matches or likes, which leads them to believe that women are jerks.
In 2021, dating app data found that women swipe more than men overall but are far more selective when doing so. It was also discovered that the average female user receives about three matches per day, while the median male user receives about one match.
"I think the dating apps are one of the reasons driving the sexes apart," Haidt posited. "Again, this is for heterosexual dating. Making it more difficult to date, to court, to fall in love, to marry, to have children. So I think we're going to look back on this and say the dating apps had all these unintended consequences that are really messing up the romantic lives of Gen Z."
Many Gen Zers are choosing to ditch the dating apps altogether for this reason.
According to a 2023 Statista survey, daters in the U.S. between the ages of 30 and 49, who are mostly millennials, make up 61% of dating app users, whereas Gen-Z comes in at only 26%. Many Gen Zers cite fear of rejection when choosing to opt out of dating apps.
There's a bit of vulnerability when it comes to using a dating app because the only thing that other people are looking at is your physical appearance. It's a very shallow way of dating and goes against the whole "don't judge a book by its cover" narrative, given that's the entire premise of a dating app.
Gorodenkoff / Shutterstock
As someone who's spent the majority of their dating experiences on these apps and has circulated between many of them, it's incredibly exhausting to constantly open yourself up to strangers time and time again.
There's no courting involved. There's no actual romance happening on these dating apps. It's all very superficial and quite frankly, boring. It's hard to engage with people, especially straight men because they rarely put in the effort to get to know the women they are matching with.
While there are pros to dating apps, including being able to meet a bunch of people at once and go on various dates, it can be just as hard to find value in online dating.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.