7 Psychological Tactics People Use To Quietly Get What They Want
And how to protect yourself against them.
Yan Krukau | Pexels You’re not always fully in control of your decisions. Skilled persuaders — from salespeople and marketers to even your friends — use psychological tricks to subtly steer your choices without you realizing it. I know because, as a detective, I've used these techniques hundreds of times during interviews. Recognizing manipulation is a valuable skill that can save you money, regret, and even protect your relationships. But be warned: once you spot these tactics, you might face tough choices, especially if you realize someone close to you has been using them.
So, who am I to talk about mind hacks? In addition to spending ten years as a detective, I recently completed a Master’s degree in psychology. That doesn't make me an "expert" — if such a thing even exists — but it’s given me a deeper understanding of the patterns I've seen over the years. Once you know these tricks, you'll start spotting them everywhere.
Here are 7 psychological tactics people use to quietly get what they want:
1. The “Because” Trick
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Savvy persuaders know that adding a reason to a request — any reason — makes you more likely to agree. It works even if the reason is rubbish. Your brain hears “because” and assumes the request is justified.
Enter the “Copy Machine Study” from 1978. The “Copy Machine Study” is a famous experiment conducted by a psychologist from Harvard University. In that study, people would try to cut in line at a copy machine using one of three approaches.
- Without a reason: “Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine?” Compliance: 60%
- With a genuine reason: “Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I’m in a rush?” Compliance: 94%
- With a weak or meaningless reason: “Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I need to make copies?” Compliance: 93%
That simple word “because” makes a 33–34 percent difference in the outcome. The easy way to protect yourself is twofold. Take a moment to question whether the reason makes sense, then have the confidence to say “no” to a request you don’t want to grant.
2. The Foot-in-the-Door Tactic
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Have you ever agreed to a small favor and later found yourself doing something much bigger? That’s this trick in action. Once you say yes to a small request, you’re more likely to comply with a larger one, because your brain wants to stay consistent with your past behavior.
I used this trick with confidential sources who were reluctant to provide information. If I thought the source had information on a murder, I didn’t ask about it. I first asked simple questions that I knew would get a positive response, questions I might not even care about.
If those went well, somewhere down the line, I’d finally get to the information I wanted. People in sales will use this trick on you.
Heck, if you’re a parent, you might notice children often use a version of it. To combat it, recognize when a harmless request might be setting you up for something bigger.
3. The Scarcity Principle
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This is pretty straightforward. You hear all the time in advertising, “Only three left in stock!” “Limited-time offer!” “Act now before it’s gone!”
These phrases are all designed to trigger a fear response and make you rush decisions, often against your better judgment. To combat this, ask yourself if you’d still want the thing if plenty were available.
4. The Contrast Effect
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Car dealers, real estate agents, and high-end retailers love this trick. They show you an overpriced option first, so the next option seems like a steal, when it’s still overpriced.
For ultimate effect, they might even throw in a third option. It might look like this:
High-end item — $1,000
Middle tier item — $450
Cheap item — $300
That entire setup is designed to sell you the middle-tier item. You don’t need to fall for this. Judge each option on its own merits, not based on what came before it.
Also, be aware that tricks like these are often paired together. For example, the contrast effect is often paired with the scarcity principle.
5. The Reciprocity Trap
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Have you ever gotten a free sample and felt obligated to buy something? That’s reciprocity — our instinct to return favors. Savvy persuaders give you something small, so you feel compelled to return the favor with something bigger.
Before you slam me in the comments, I know that not everyone who gives you something is looking for something in return.
But many of them are. The reciprocity trap is also used outside of receiving something free. For example, if a salesman wants to learn about you so that he can sell you something down the road, he might start by telling you things about himself. He may not share with you because he’s friendly.
He wants to know as much as possible about you because that’s how he will find out what will motivate you to buy.
To avoid this, accept gifts without guilt — you don’t owe anything. You can listen to others tell stories and ask them questions about those stories without needing to relate or share your own.
6. The Benjamin Franklin Effect
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Asking someone for a small favor makes them like you more. Benjamin Franklin used this trick on a rival named Samuel Keimer. Keimer didn’t like Franklin and was openly hostile toward him. Instead of fighting with him, Franklin asked to borrow a rare book from his personal collection.
Keimer was flattered and lent it to him. After Franklin returned it with a polite note of thanks, the man’s hostility vanished, and they eventually became close friends. We assume we do favors for people we like, so when we help someone, our brain rewires our feelings toward them to reduce cognitive dissonance.
Maybe Franklin had a genuine interest in that book, or maybe Franklin knew exactly what he was doing and was ahead of his time.
7. Mirroring
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Subtly mimicking a person’s body language, speech patterns, or gestures builds rapport and increases likability, making them more open to persuasion. The key here is subtly. I noticed that this technique worked in interviews with suspects, but I didn’t know exactly why at the time.
You may not realize it, but you have a deep-seated psychological need for connection, trust, and social belonging. It’s a need we all have, and why mirroring works.
It’s natural, but savvy people recognize it and can use it against you. When someone mirrors your body language back to you, just be aware of it and why they might want you to feel connected to them.
Final thoughts
The most dangerous manipulations are the ones you don’t see coming. Psychological tricks shape your daily decisions — sometimes in your best interest, sometimes not. The key isn’t to distrust everyone but to stay aware.
When you recognize these tactics in action, you regain control over your choices. You can pause, think critically, and decide on your terms. Because in a world where influence is everywhere, few things are more valuable than knowing when you’re being played.
Joshua Mason is a former police detective and public safety leader turned writer. His weekly stories on Medium are dedicated to change, leadership, and life lessons.
