If No One Ever Meets Your Standards, You Probably Have These 3 Psychological Traits
People with these traits are more likely to get 'the ick' more often, according to a study.
stockfour | Shutterstock Ever met someone and everything was going great until he did that one thing that instantly made you want to run for the hills? Maybe he said something cringey, wore a questionable outfit, or had a weird quirk that you completely fixated on. Whatever it was, it wasn't a dealbreaker in the true sense of the word. But for you? You just couldn't get past it.
That feeling, known as "the ick," is something many of us have experienced, and now, thanks to a 2025 study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, we know exactly what’s behind it. Spoiler alert: It’s probably not your date’s fault. They just happened to trigger some of your psychological traits that made you feel the "ick."
If you often find yourself cutting people off over the smallest things, there might be a deeper reason why.
The study found that people with these three traits are more likely to get 'the ick.'
According to researchers, that feeling of "ick" has its origins in evolution, going way back to cavemen. When the ultimate intent of coupling is perpetuating a species, it is all about identifying a partner that is void of undesirable traits like health issues.
Obviously, things have changed, and that feeling of "ick" thanks to social media has changed drastically. The lead researchers told Psychology Today that "social media is like a loudspeaker that amplifies to create normalization. It may be an internalized mate selection behavior that becomes validated through social reinforcement." Now, those evolutionary markers have become three specific psychological traits.
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1. Disgust sensitivity
Some people just can’t help it — they’re more sensitive to things that others would completely ignore. This is known as disgust sensitivity, and it’s exactly why someone might be grossed out by a date’s odd mannerism or the way they eat their food.
In a piece written for Psychology Today, neuroscientist Aditi Subramaniam, Ph.D., explained, "What makes disgust fascinating as an emotion is that, although it has its origins in protecting the body from ingesting pathogens, its implications are much more far-reaching. From a deep distrust of immigrants with habits different from our own to an avoidance of exotic foods, or to a discomfort with people who have different sexual preferences than our own — disgust is everywhere."
She went on to detail how there has been a "shift of disgust from merely a protective mechanism against contaminants to a mechanism by which society created rules for moral behavior." Case in point: the "ick."
The study found that people with higher disgust sensitivity are more likely to get the ick from minor things, like an awkward handshake or a too-loud laugh. So if you’ve ever had a moment where someone’s gum chewing made you want to scream, you’re not alone, but it's also important to realize that this is learned disgust.
2. Narcissism
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Okay, you’re probably not a full-on narcissist, but if you tend to expect people to meet your idealized vision of perfection, narcissism might be playing a role. The study found that narcissistic individuals are more likely to experience the ick when their date fails to align with their idealized vision of a partner.
People with narcissistic traits often have sky-high expectations for their partners, expecting them to elevate their status and fit into their perfect mold. For example, if someone with narcissistic tendencies notices a potential partner doing something they find "unflattering" — whether it's a small social mistake or a misstep in appearance — it might trigger a swift reaction of disgust.
3. Perfectionism
Perfectionism is another trait that can make you more prone to getting the ick. People with perfectionistic tendencies are often hyper-aware of imperfections, whether it’s in their own lives or someone else’s.
So, if you’re a perfectionist, it doesn’t take much to turn you off. Maybe your date has a quirky laugh, or they made a small social slip-up — that’s it, they’re out. This isn’t just about you being picky; it’s your perfectionism demanding that everything be just right. Unfortunately, this can lead to missing out on potential matches just because they didn’t meet your (pretty high) standards.
Here's the thing about perfectionism: as VeryWell Mind noted, the perfectionist is actually highly self-critical, and all that projection is more about what they feel insecure about within themselves. That realization doesn't exactly make the icky feelings go away, but with some reflection, it can help a perfectionist discern their true feelings.
Getting the ick is common, but if it’s happening all the time, you might want to take a look at your own psychological traits. Disgust sensitivity, narcissism, and perfectionism could be influencing how you respond to minor things that most people wouldn’t even notice.
While it’s important to have standards in dating, it’s equally important to realize that no one is perfect. Maybe the next time you get the ick, you’ll give your date another chance and realize they might just be human, quirks and all.
Erika Ryan is a writer working on her bachelor's degree in Journalism. She is based in Florida and covers relationships, psychology, self-help, and human interest topics.
