Dating Coach Shares The Most Valid 'Ick' He's Ever Heard
Sometimes being "picky" is really just being smart.
EverGrump / Shutterstock Have you ever experienced the "ick" before? That sudden, overwhelming feeling of disgust out of nowhere?
Many people, both men and women, have shared their "icks" online. Most of the time, these are silly and can be overlooked.
However, according to dating coach Mark Groves, there's one "ick" that stands out as the most valid "ick" he's ever heard of.
Dating Coach Shares The Most Valid 'Ick' Ever
The most valid "ick" he's ever heard, says Groves, is when someone refuses to accept your feelings.
When you express painful emotions like hurt, betrayal, anxiety, or distress, being met with indifference from your partner is a glaring red flag.
However, that's not the worst part. Having to justify your emotions to your partner is the biggest "ick" out there.
Groves says, "You deserve someone who offers you straightforward empathy that you feel a certain way."
Your partner needing to agree with your feelings shows a lack of respect for your emotions. And that's not exactly the recipe for a healthy, happy relationship.
And when your partner won't admit that their actions or words hurt you, it's a pretty clear sign that they don't respect you or the relationship.
Remember, your partner should be willing to understand where you are coming from. They should be willing to work through past traumas with you. And if they dismiss those experiences, then you have every right to feel disgusted with them.
While Groves might think this "ick" is a good enough reason to bail, for others, it's not so cut and dry.
They want to give their partner the benefit of the doubt. "Maybe they didn't mean to dismiss my feelings."
So, how do you know if your relationship is actually in trouble? Licensed marriage and family therapist John Kim breaks it down.
Two Signs Your Relationship Is In Trouble
1. You don't feel like yourself
Have you been feeling out of touch lately? Have you lost touch with who you are? Do the goals and hobbies you once loved now seem insignificant? If so, your relationship may be in trouble.
When you're in a healthy relationship you lift each other up. You inspire one another to be the best version of themselves.
And if you don't feel like yourself and you're starting to feel drained, chances are your relationship is out of wack.
2. No communication
The cornerstone of any relationship is healthy communication. Being able to express your feelings without screaming at each other is the bare minimum.
And if your partner can't sit down and have a conversation with you, chances are your relationship is headed down a dark road.
The reality is, that being in a long-term relationship has its ups and downs. You'll argue and make up. You'll have amazing moments to cherish and moments that make you cringe in embarrassment.
However, as long as there is mutual respect and understanding in your relationship, things will be just fine.
But if your partner refuses to acknowledge your emotions and always expects you to justify them, do yourself a favor and run.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.