New Mom Throws Her Surrogate Out Of Her House After She Crossed A Boundary With Her Baby
The surrogate was acting a little bit too much like the baby was her son.
NDAB Creativity | Shutterstock When someone wants children but is unable to have them themselves, surrogacy is a great option.
It seemed to be a dream come true for one couple until their surrogate started crossing the line with their new baby boy.
A mom had to throw her surrogate out of her house and cut off all contact with her when she crossed a major boundary.
The new mom took to Reddit to ask if she had gone too far in how she reacted to her surrogate pushing boundaries. First, she explained her need for a surrogate.
NDAB Creativity | Shutterstock
“When I … was 15, I was in a car accident which left me badly injured, and due to my injuries, this left me unable to have children,” she said. “My husband, who I will call Jack for the sake of [this] post, has known since he … met me, and we always agreed that we will use a surrogate when we want children.”
Jack and his wife decided they were ready for kids and were luckily able to find a surrogate.
“About a year ago, Jack and I talked and agreed that we are ready to have children,” she said. “We talked about it for a while and decided that we were going to go through an agency as we didn’t feel right asking someone we knew personally.”
She continued, “We were quickly matched with a woman who I will call Jess. We got the paperwork done and soon after Jess then got pregnant with mine and Jack’s baby boy.”
Everything seemed to be going great with the surrogate until she actually gave birth.
“She was always super sweet towards myself and Jack and we saw no red flags or warning signs,” the mom said. “However, this quickly changed after our son Owen was born.”
Suddenly, red flags were everywhere.
“Once she heard the name, she sort of made [an] ‘o’ face, but we quickly brushed it off,” she said. “Then she came over to our house the day after we got to take Owen home and came over every day and stayed for hours, always trying to take him out of our arms or being critical when Jack or [I] tried to do anything involving Owen.”
Anna Nass | Shutterstock
This was concerning to the new parents, but they mostly brushed it off. That is until something happened that they absolutely could not overlook.
“This went on for about two weeks, but yesterday, I finally snapped when she picked Owen up and said, ‘Come to Mama,’” the mom shared.
“I yelled that she wasn’t his mom and that she is no longer [welcome] in my home. She then sent me a bunch of angry texts claiming I was so ungrateful and a huge [expletive].”
This situation seems to be unusual for surrogates.
While each person is different and has a unique, individual reaction to what happens in their life, most surrogates are professionals who do not experience this kind of attachment to a child.
Circle Surrogacy, a surrogacy agency, said that all candidates for surrogacy are properly screened before they are accepted. They are well aware of their responsibility and role in what they are doing.
Fellow Reddit users believed some sort of postpartum disorder may be at work here.
People who commented on the mom’s post pointed out the likelihood that the surrogate was suffering from something like postpartum depression.
“Postpartum period can wreak havoc on a woman’s hormones and mental health,” one person said. “She could be experiencing postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, or even postpartum psychosis.”
According to American Surrogacy, “Yes, surrogates can experience postpartum depression after surrogacy. While it’s not exclusive to biological mothers, surrogates may also undergo hormonal and emotional changes after childbirth that can lead to postpartum.”
As many people suggested, it would probably be best to report this behavior to the surrogacy agency so they can make sure the woman gets help.
That being said, this mom should not feel guilty for her reaction. It's only natural for a mother to be protective of her newborn.
Now that she has had time to reflect on the experience, however, she has the opportunity to reach out through a third party to ensure Jess can adapt following Owen's birth.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.