Girls Who Were Taught These 11 Things In Childhood Grow Up To Be Women Of High Character
Women with impeccable character often learned these things when they were young.
Curated Lifestyle | Unsplash Nothing quite scares low-quality guys away like a woman of high character. For most men, seeing a woman with strength of character is a sign she won't be manipulated and demands respect.
It’s as big a warning sign as hearing a guy say “You are a woman of high value.” Hearing this phrase suggests that possessiveness is about to pop up, and there may be underlying gender hatred you wouldn’t want to get involved with.
So, how do you become a woman of high character to avoid low-quality guys? By being taught these things by Mom and Dad when they were young.
Girls who were taught these things in childhood grow up to be women of high character:
1. Be approachable, but have boundaries
Most women tend to either refuse to approach men or will approach them and act like hungry puppies around them. Guys don’t respect women who throw themselves at them, nor do they often feel comfortable with women who won’t talk to them first. The best approach? Talk to him as if he’s just a friend, then toss a subtle flirty smile occasionally.
2. Express yourself in a way that feels unique to you
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Men are visual creatures, and the easiest way to stand out from the crowd is to dress differently than the rest of the crowd. This is called “peacocking,” and it can work for men and women alike.
Research from the Evolutionary Psychology Journal explored that what people get wrong about peacocking is it doesn’t mean you have to try to wear a giant fluffy hat or platform shoes. Rather, it’s about having a cool, interesting accessory or hairstyle to set you apart from the rest just a little. An interesting necklace, a cool set of shoes, or even platinum blonde hair can make a huge statement without seeming too “out there.”
3. Have a life outside of your relationship
From what I’ve seen, nothing quite makes a man lose interest faster than having a woman who doesn’t do anything but hang out with him. Sadly, it’s a trap most of us end up falling into when we get too in love. Don’t be her.
4. Have hobbies and interests, too
Nothing gets more boring for a man than to be stuck talking to a woman whose sole interests include whatever’s trendy, what other people are doing, and celebrity obsessions. It’s banal and it gets most guys bored. Try a new hobby, such as beer brewing, cooking, or even breakdancing, and you’ll quickly find guys seeing you as more interesting.
5. Showing interest in the world is more important than showing interest in money
You would be surprised at how many men think that the only thing women care about is money. This is not true, but that’s why so many men end up talking about their jobs nonstop on a first date. If you see him flashing cash around you, tell him to put it away and tell him you’re more interested in his personality.
6. Social media isn't real life
I hang out with a lot of men, and when I hear them complain about women’s personalities, this always comes up. Research published in the Journal of Education and Social Development found "a negative correlation between social media and relationship satisfaction."
Most guys do not want to be paraded around like accessories. It’s degrading and dehumanizing to feel like a prop being used to show others “how cool you are.” By forgetting social media for a while, you’re showing him you want something a bit more real — and he likes that.
7. Don’t put up with poor behavior
Some men have perfected behaving rudely and getting women to tolerate it. This is why so many good women end up being burnt out. If you see a guy behaving in a way you don’t like, tell him you’re done.
Relationship coach Ellen Nyland discussed how men use inappropriate humor to cover deep emotions humor, "Humor is a great stress reliever, but you have to know your audience when you engage in humor. Men dealing with inner pain often have no filter. The language they use can be rude and offensive to certain people."
Most men, sadly, don’t appreciate women who try to take the high road about this kind of stuff. If you want to learn how to stand out to a guy, the easiest way to do it is to not tolerate bad behavior and call him out on it.
8. What you say is less important than how you say it
Because of the ways women are often raised, we tend not to say what’s really on our minds. This is not good, because most men out there need to hear things as bluntly as possible. Research from the American Psychological Association suggests being unmistakably direct about what you want, what you’re thinking, and what you’re feeling, will make relationships easier and also impress men.
9. When you compliment someone, make sure it's genuine
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Most guys do not hear compliments, ever. This is the easiest way to get them to remember you and also get them to want to talk to you more often.
Couples counselor Larry Michel explained giving authentic compliments, "We must know in every way that our appreciation for both the small and the big things is grounded in our bodies with a solid knowledge of absolute value and importance. We just don’t think it. We feel it to our core. It’s real. It’s warm and fuzzy. It’s inspiring. Our eyes light up and our whole body smiles with awareness."
10. Be the person you want to be, rather than the person society thinks you should be
This one is hard. You will get blowback for it and it may cost you “friends.” But it’s worth it, and it will make you stand out. To do this, just ask yourself what you would do and wear if you didn’t have to worry about the consequences — and do it all.
What sucks about this is most guys want a woman who isn’t like most other women they’ve met. Truthfully, standing apart from the crowd can play a huge part in how likely it is you’ll end up getting the partner you want, as suggested by studies in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
The more attractive the guy you’re interested in, the more you will have to stand out among the competition to get him. The same can be said about guys, the more they stand out (in a good way), the more likely it is they’d get women to be attracted to them.
It took me years to stop caring what others thought of me, but it was so, so worth it. Stop caring if you’ll be judged for not wearing the right clothes, having the right interests, or saying the right things. Be who you want to be, and that genuine side of you will have men interested in you.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.