6 Conversational Habits That Expose A Person’s Low Intelligence
Some seemingly simple habits make you appear rude and unintelligent.
Antonio Guillem | Shutterstock Communication is a crucial aspect of how we connect with others. It’s not just what we say, but how we say it, that influences how others perceive our intelligence and emotional awareness.
Some conversational practices make you appear smarter and more likable, such as actively listening and asking questions. But, according to psychologist Dave Smallen, "there are also, of course, conversation behaviors that can easily disrupt meaningful connection, leaving our conversation partner feeling invalidated." He shared six conversation habits that do you no favors and are worth breaking immediately.
Here are 6 conversational habits that expose a person's low intelligence:
1. Interrupting
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No one likes to be interrupted in a conversation and it is perhaps one of the most obvious conversation faux pas. When you interrupt someone mid-sentence, it sends a clear message that you don’t value what they have to say.
While you may unintentionally interrupt due to excitement or a genuine desire to clarify a point, these signal a lack of patience or empathy. Instead of focusing on speaking your thoughts, take a moment to truly listen and understand the conversation you’re having before responding.
2. Story-topping
There's no need to one-up someone in every conversation. Even if you feel that your situation was worse, or you have a more compelling story to share, practice empathy and understanding. A conversation should be about communication — not competition.
"Sharing our stories is a key part of relating, yet it helps to notice if our motivation is to impress others, to prove, or to brag. If that's the case, we may actually be seeking admiration, not connection," Smallen said. "It goes a long way to first acknowledge how others felt about their experience before sharing our own."
3. Bright-siding
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It's natural to want to cheer up your friends or show them the positive side of the situation. However, done the wrong way, bright-siding can be dismissive of their real struggles. Before stressing the positives, acknowledge that their feelings are valid.
"While optimism and a positive attitude can do wonders, we still need to experience the difficult feelings of our struggles to pass through them, and telling others about our hardships is one way to do that," Smallen noted.
4. Needing to be right
Sure, no one wants to be wrong. But always needing to be right is exhausting and indicates low intelligence. Feeling the need to "win" a conversation that shouldn't have been an argument prevents you from hearing or understanding the other person's perspective. Remember the goal of a conversation is to connect, not to come out on top.
5. Acting all-knowing
Who likes a know-it-all? People who believe they know better than everyone else and always share their opinion and advice without being asked come off as all-knowing — and not in a good way. It often makes others feel belittled or lectured.
"When we explain information to people without being asked for our expertise, it may communicate that we see them as ignorant," Smallen said. "Though we may have kind intentions, holding forth on a topic often serves our own ego rather than the moment of connection."
6. Offering unsolicited solutions
Offering unsolicited advice is another conversational habit that can expose low intelligence. When someone opens up about their struggles, the instinct to immediately jump in with solutions often overlooks their need for empathy and emotional support, reflecting a lack of emotional awareness. Sometimes people just want a listening ear as they vent about their struggles. The most effective communicators know when to step back, listen, and ask if advice is wanted before offering it.
Erika Ryan is a writer working on her bachelor's degree in Journalism. She is based in Florida and covers relationships, psychology, self-help, and human interest topics.