5 Behaviors Of Gen-X People Who Are Destined To Grow Old Lonely And Isolated, According To Experts
In some ways, Gen-X was preconditioned for isolation.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock Gen-X, a generation with so many nicknames, you could write an article just using them. Latch-key, forgotten, nothing, the middle kid. Gen-X knows the labels well, just as well as they sense the not-so-subtle hints of negging wrapped up in labels when conversations steer toward generational differences.
All these generational conversations can make a Gen-Xer pause and wonder why we continue to adhere to labeling by generation. The labels seem to divide us more than bring us together — and yet there are specific behaviors that seem to cling to Gen-X that, if nurtured, may lead to isolation as they age. Look out for these Hallmark Gen-X behaviors and how they may contribute to loneliness in later years.
Here are the behaviors of Gen-X people who are destined to grow old lonely and isolated:
1. Wearing 'slacker' as a badge of honor
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Emotional darkness earned Gen X the stereotype of being slackers, explains Dr. Gloria Brame, Ph.D. They often grew to be successful as adults, but that stereotype followed them, along with the stereotype that Slackers were all cynical, depressed, and neurotic.
There is a 2024 study to back it up: "A significant burden of mental illness symptomatology and disadvantageous personality differences can be attributed to US children's exposure to lead over the past 75 years. Lead's potential contribution to psychiatry, medicine, and children's health may be larger than previously assumed."
Still, it's the prevailing perceptions of them as 'weird' that make them feel like outsiders in a doomed world. If their parents are Boomers, the cognitive dissonance between two very different generations raised in two very different economic periods in American history can make family time untenable.
2. Being forced to be independent at all costs
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Life coach Mitzi Bockmann knows how Gen-Xers were, often from a very young age, forced to be independent. The parenting mode of the day was to let us roam wild and come home for dinner. As a result, many Gen-Xers are profoundly independent.
That independence, while good in some sense, can lead people to be hesitant to ask for help and support and believe they are just fine on their own, all of which can lead to isolation and loneliness.
3. Taking on the weight of the world
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Trying to take on the responsibilities of everything for everyone, notes life coach Carolyn Hidalgo. This is especially true for women who were being mom, having a career, maintaining a home, being a wife, and not realizing the importance of self-care. It all led to doing too much and not being in the enjoyment & enthusiasm of life.
4. Avoiding emotional vulnerability
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Gen X was taught to "suck it up" and avoid oversharing emotions, says counselor Larry Michel. While this worked in childhood, it produces surface-level relationships in adulthood, leaving adults feeling unseen and disconnected if they're unable to have hard, deep, and necessary conversations.
5. Growing up believing autonomy was more important than love
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Gen-Xers were like romantics who pushed love away as though we were entitled to reject it, explains Gen-X senior editor Aria Gmitter. Gen-Xers didn't realize how important rejecting love was until they got older and discovered how hard it is to find love as an older single, since dating culture has changed so much. It's less committal and more casual, but many Gen-Xers assumed love would always be rooted in something more, but they also didn't want it.
What causes pain and loneliness now is when Gen-X looks back at their mistakes and regrets not maintaining the relationships that were precious in the way we do as older adults. We realize love truly is precious and frail, and we would be more forgiving, tolerant, and much more open to exploring lasting love if we had the wisdom we know now due to more open conversations about topics like depression, abuse, and how to ask for help.
Gen-X has mostly stood at the side of the stage, out of the light, to observe. Observation is almost a superpower of a generation that saw the division between everyone grow wider.
Gen-X watched their parents' marriages drift apart, the worsening division of wealth, the increasing imbalance of social power, and the worsening environmental decline. All the while, trying to bring people together in awareness while being challenged to form lasting connections.
Now, still from the edge of the stage, Gen-X hopes to find the connection that they were taught doesn't matter, and maybe shrug off some of those negging nicknames.
Will Curtis is a creator, editor, and activist who has spent the last decade working remotely.
