11 Reasons Gen Z Doesn’t Have Friends That Have Nothing To Do With Technology
It's not only excessive screen time and phone use that is keeping Gen Z so lonely.
Voyagerix / Shutterstock Gen Z was once promised to be the most successful, progressive, and diverse generation to date. Unfortunately, this generation has quickly hit an all-time low as their mental health has taken a turn for the worse. According to a recent study, around eight in ten Gen Zers felt lonely in the past twelve months. And while many experts believe the reason why Gen Z is so lonely is because they're chronically online, there are many reasons Gen Z doesn't have friends that have nothing to do with technology.
Gen Z's ability to connect with others has less to do with their devices and more to do with other aspects of their lives.
Here are the 11 reasons Gen Z doesn't have friends that have nothing to do with technology
1. They're too drained by work
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There's a common misconception that Gen Z is a lazy generation filled with people who simply 'don't work hard enough.' However, considering how tough the economy is and how Gen Z manages to stay afloat despite the challenges, some could argue that Gen Z works entirely too hard.
From applying to hundreds of jobs, paying a house mortgage for a small apartment, and working overtime to make ends meet, it's no wonder a 2023 survey from the American Psychological Association found that 18-34-year-olds are reporting higher stress levels compared to the older generations.
That being said, the first reason Gen Z doesn't have friends that has nothing to do with technology is because they're too drained from work. After spending hours at the office, it can feel utterly stressful to come home and reconnect with family, let alone friends.
Even so, finding a way to make their schedule work for them is crucial to maintaining friendships. Despite how drained or tired they might be, reorganizing themselves and making time for their loved ones is important for their mental health. A study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry pointed out that those who have closer friends are increasingly more likely to feel satisfied with their lives and less depressed than those with zero friends.
With this in mind, Gen Z should make a better effort to organize themselves and reconnect with their friends. Even if it's only an hour on a Saturday, taking that time will lead to much better mental health than refusing to try altogether.
2. They're too caught up in other relationships
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Most people have had the misfortune of losing a friend to another relationship at some point in their lives. Two people may have been best friends for years, but all of their memories go out the window as soon as one gets caught up in a romantic relationship. It's frustrating, but a huge reason why Gen Z doesn't have friends that has nothing to do with technology is that they simply don't maintain their friendships once they're in a relationship.
So caught up in their significant other that they don't text back as much or never make an effort to hang out, they make those around them feel completely alone and unappreciated.
That being said, people can always count on Gen Z 'friends' coming back as soon as their relationship no longer works for them. However, by that time, these same Gen Z friends might find themselves out of luck as the door to friendship has long since been closed in their face.
3. There's been a rise of individualism
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Times have changed since boomers were young. Back in their day, though boomers valued individualism, a lot of their life revolved around others, and as a result, they operated from both an individualistic and collectivist point of view.
Then Gen Z entered the scene, completely abandoning any sort of collectivist point of view, Gen Z operates entirely from a point of individualism. And although individualism is a beautiful thing, the rise of individualism is a double-edged sword that can either make or break a friendship.
According to a study published in Psychological Science, North Americans are increasingly becoming more individualistic, which may or may not be a good thing. As associate professor Rob Whitley, Ph.D., pointed out, "Contrariwise, intense individualism can lead to more isolation, more loneliness, and more alienation."
When a person is entirely focused on themselves, their needs, and their wants, they may neglect those around them, as their individualism rarely allows for compromising. That said, there is a way to avoid this.
Monk Prayogshala Research Institution wrote, "Fostering a subtle sense of collectivism focuses on strengthening social cohesion and social responsibility across a culture." This means that Gen Z must foster both connectiveness among one another while also understanding how their individual actions impact others.
4. They don't have enough time to visit their friends
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Gen Z is slowly graduating from college and entering the workforce. Though this is a great accomplishment, the downside of entering into the workforce is often the lack of flexibility in your schedule that goes along with it. It's unfortunate, but to make it in the corporate world, many Gen Zers are finding themselves working overtime to climb the ladder.
With barely enough time to sleep, it's no wonder that a huge reason Gen Z doesn't have friends is that they don't have time to hang out. Life is getting busy, and with the pressure to reach certain milestones at a certain age, most of Gen Z feels as if they're in a rat race. Combined with keeping up with family relationships and romantic relationships, it's no surprise they feel like they have no time for anything else.
With that being said, making time for friends is important regardless of how busy someone may or may not be.
Physician Kristen Fuller, M.D. said, "Set aside time: We all have busy lives, and therefore our time is precious, but so are our friendships. Set time aside to respond to your text messages, schedule a time to chat on the phone, and spend time eating a meal together." Even if it's a quick meet up for lunch or a FaceTime during dinner, setting aside that time is the difference between keeping and losing friends.
5. They don't have the same sense of community
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There's something special about moving to another city. From new beginnings to job opportunities, there are plenty of reasons why Gen Zers choose to leave their family and friends. As much as they'd surely like to stay, being young and wanting to explore the world around them has Gen Zers traveling and leaving their old world behind.
That said, a reason why Gen Z doesn't have friends that has nothing to do with technology is often because they don't have the same sense of community as they once had. Growing up, they had no choice but to be stuck in the same hometown. However, as they grow older, college opportunities or curoitsty has them traveling away from that same community.
According to a study in 2023, Gen Z is the most mobile generation, with 17% of them actively choosing to move away compared to the national average of 8%. So, with Gen Z moving more than the national average, it's only normal that they'd lose their sense of community in the process.
Even so, just because they are far away from home doesn't mean Gen Zers need to cut off contact completely. By visiting as much as possible, FaceTiming, and setting reminders on their phone to message people, they can still keep in contact with both their friends and family. With that being said, their ability to keep in contact is up to them and their individual actions. If they refuse to text their friends once a week, then they shouldn't be overly surprised when the support group they used to have is no more.
6. They're unsure of where to meet people
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The next reason Gen Z doesn't have friends that has nothing to do with technology is that they're unsure of where to meet people. Sometimes, going back to the same friendships since high school or college no longer serves their best interest. Now needing to start from scratch, Gen Z has zero clue on where to meet their potential best friends.
Clinical psychologist Ahona Guha, D.Psych, urged people to remember the concepts of proximity, similarity, and repetition when making and keeping friends. She continued that friends should be close to Gen Zers as proximity makes it easier to maintain friendships.
Yet, for those still confused and unsure of where to meet friends, they can always meet friends through shared hobbies like a photography class, art class, gym class, or local social events. Though intimidating, remember this: to find friends, you must put yourself out there first.
7. They don't know how to communicate their boundaries effectively
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When discussing romantic relationships, there's a huge conversation around boundary setting and effective communication. From giving one another breaks to cool off to listening while the other person is talking, most of Gen Z is familiar with what it takes to make a relationship flourish.
Unfortunately, that same energy isn't given in their friendships, and as a result, a reason why Gen Z doesn't have friends that has nothing to do with technology is that they don't know how to communicate their boundaries effectively.
Gen Z has to understand that their friends aren't mind readers. They don't know how others feel or if their actions make their best friend uncomfortable. And although you might think that there are no misunderstandings, it's important to understand that your friends don't have the same inside knowledge you have.
From their perspective, they don't view their actions or words in the same light others view them. This is why Gen Zers need to communicate better and tell their friends, "Hey, I don't feel comfortable with this." Otherwise, they'll never know what they need to work on or change to make the friendship work better.
Licensed counselor Sharon Martin, DSW, LCSW, shared that boundaries are crucial in all relationships, including family members, friends, and relationships. She continued, "Without boundaries, you may feel suffocated, unable to express your true feelings and needs."
Martin continued, "Be mindful that you’re not the only one compromising, and that you’re not giving up what’s most important to you. People-pleasers tend to concede rather than compromise, which is why we need boundaries."
8. They're too quick to cut people off
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The trend of cutting people off when they're no longer someone's peace has gotten a bit out of hand. What used to be a helpful tip of cutting off toxic people has now become a method people use to avoid taking accountability or becoming vulnerable.
Back in the day, if someone had an issue with a person, they would sit down and discuss it. Allowing both parties to talk, they'd eventually come to a resolution in which new boundaries were created. Unfortunately, the age of emotional intelligence has long since disappeared, and a huge reason why Gen Z doesn't have friends that have nothing to do with technology is because they're too quick to cut people off.
Gen Z needs to understand that there's a difference between cutting off toxic people and people simply making a mistake. Whether Gen Z likes it or not, their friends are bound to be imperfect and hurt them as a result. However, the idea of breaking off a friendship because of drama or misunderstandings is completely lost on other generations.
Just like marriage, friendship requires dedication and hard work. It requires forgiveness and uncomfortable realizations. If Gen Z isn't willing to forgive or try to make amends, then they shouldn't be shocked when their friends begin to dwindle. As much as they'd like to cut people off, this type of avoidant behavior is more reflective of who they are versus who someone else is.
9. They are more susceptible to having low self-esteem
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Most of Gen Z would like to view themselves as emotionally intelligent and confident compared to the other generations. However, this couldn't be further from the truth. According to the American Psychological Association, nine in ten Gen Zers report experiencing at least one physical or emotional symptom because of stress. Additionally, this generation was also more likely to report their mental health as fair or poor compared to other generations.
With all of that being taken into consideration, another reason Gen Z doesn't have friends that have nothing to do with technology is because they're more respectable to having low self-esteem. With Gen Z constantly reporting how much of an anxious mess they are, it's no surprise that this anxiety has impacted their esteem for the worst.
As a study in 2021 found, anxiety is strongly associated with low self-esteem. As a result, those with lower self-esteem might find it harder to make friends as they become fearful of how they'll be perceived by others. Even so, taking control of that anxiety and working with a therapist on those low self-esteem issues is the only way Gen Z will get better and have better luck in friendships.
As hard as it may be, constantly living in a state of anxiety, low self-confidence, or depression isn't just damaging for the friendships they'll make; it's also harmful to their overall health and life expectancy.
10. They have the 'I don't owe anyone' mentality
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Another reason Gen Z doesn't have friends that have nothing to do with technology is because they have the "I don't owe anyone" mentality. If anyone's ever been on TikTok, then they've probably heard this mentality at some point. Essentially, it reaffirms the belief that to protect Gen Z's mental health, they should be able to cut people off without explanation.
Though this type of behavior sounds good, let's call it out for what it really is: disrespectful. Sure, nobody owes anybody friendship. However, refusing to communicate and simply cutting someone off because 'you're protecting your mental health' is still disrespectful, toxic, and, frankly, immature.
Refusing to communicate and not caring about someone else's feelings often leads the other person to feel lonely, hurt, and completely confused. Never knowing what they did wrong, most people will assume the worst or jump to the worst conclusions. All of this stress and confusion combined can lead to devasting consequences on other people's mental health if Gen Z isn't careful.
So, as much as they don't owe anyone their friendship, Gen Z should keep it classy and communicate effectively. Even if things aren't resolved, at the bare minimum, everyone leaves the friendship knowing what they need to work on and having the closure they need to effectively heal and move on.
11. They don't make the first move
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Finally, the last reason Gen Z doesn't have friends that have nothing to do with technology is because they don't know how to make the first move. Gen Zers need to understand that people aren't mind readers. This means that if they don't reach out to someone, then they'll never truly know how the other person feels.
That being said, if Gen Z wants to hang out with people, communicate it. If they feel upset by someone else's actions and it's been stunting their ability to get close to their friend, talk to them about it. Nobody is going to know how someone else is feeling until the other person speaks up and voices their opinion.
So, if someone is a Gen Z and they're struggling to make friends, make the first move. Call up the other person or text them and say, "Hey, do you want to hang out next week Saturday?" Though this might be intimidating, Gen Z would be surprised to see how many people are secretly wanting to reconnect as well.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.