5 Easy-To-Miss Microexpressions That Expose Someone As A Narcissist, According To A Clinical Hypnotherapist
Wondering if they're a narcissist? Their eyes might hold the answer.
spaxiax | Shutterstock One of the most challenging aspects of dealing with a narcissist is that it's often difficult to realize that their behavior even is narcissism until you're already far along the condition's downward spiral. This is especially true these days when the term "narcissism" is thrown about so often, it's essentially applied to any behavior a person doesn't like.
However, Doug Womack, a clinical hypnotherapist who specializes in helping people heal from narcissistic abuse, said there are a few subtle clues that are as revealing as they are easy to miss. "Just look at their eyes," he advised because they are often incredibly telling.
Here are 5 tiny facial expressions that indicate narcissism:
1. A smirk.
"They have this smirk on their face when they know you're in pain," Womack explained. This is all part of their manipulation process, he said — when they see that it's working, they will take on a sort of satisfied smirk, even though they are obviously hurting your feelings.
2. A blank stare.
They'll be looking at you and you'll be thinking, 'What the hell is wrong with this person?'" Womack said, likening the stare to a robot or something else "not even human."
"You can kind of see into them, they're just totally empty," he added.
Commenters on his TikTok said this expression can be downright disturbing. "It feels like staring into a hollow shell of what was once a person," one user wrote. "Not to mention the coldness of their gaze and the nauseating pit you get in your stomach."
3. A 'sparkle' when they know they're getting to you.
"They also have this sparkle about them when they're winding you up — when they're trying to cause you to blow up so they can call you the narcissist," Womack explained, likening it to "a little child who's having loads of fun."
However, the reason they're having such a good time is because they know they're hurting you, which is absolutely not normal.
4. They avoid eye contact.
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"They have to avoid eye contact," Womack said. "This way you feel like you're not heard, you're not listened to, it is a way for them to just ignore you and act like they're superior."
A commenter added that "they also do not make direct eye contact in normal conversation. They look around, above and beyond you when they are speaking." Again — they often don't have normal responses to situations or emotions.
5. Their eyes go 'black' when they're angry.
"Their eyes go black — literally go black," Womack explained. "They [get] these evil eyes and you look at them and you just know that this person is on a war path. This person is not gonna listen to you, this person isn't gonna hear anything you say. This person cares about one thing and that is hurting you in whatever format this narcissist wants to do it in."
This is far and away the most disturbing on the list, and while it may sound a bit overwrought, it was the one feature that commenters on Womack's video most identified with. "Once you see the black eyes you never forget it," one woman wrote. "Something else takes over them, like another person you don't recognize," another added.
The bottom line is that whether you're dealing with a diagnosable narcissist or not isn't really the point — if you're dealing with any of these behaviors, you're with a person who needs help, and it might be time to make plans to move on from the relationship. You deserve better.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.