11 Ways To Spot A Narcissistic Person By The Way They Dress, According To Psychology
Spotting a narcissist before you even engage with them can save you a lot of emotional turmoil and condescension.
Look Studio | Shutterstock Narcissistic people are often defined and characterized by their self-centered attitude. They are willing to put their own emotional health, relationships, and inner circles at risk for the sake of protecting their power, superiority, image, or control over others.
A study from the University of Toronto also suggests that narcissistic people give away their manipulative and toxic intentions with more subtle messages, like their face's microexpressions and their unique body language mannerisms. Outside of the way they make you feel in a relationship or the way their eyes shift when they tell a lie, there's also a number of ways to spot a narcissistic person by the way they dress, according to psychology.
Here are the 11 ways to spot a narcissistic person by the way they dress, according to psychology
1. They're exclusively wearing things you've told them you like
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Narcissism expert Elizabeth Shaw argues that many narcissists take on a "chameleon identity" in various facets of their lives, hoping to manipulate and win over people with their own preferences, interests, and values. Even if they don't share similar preferences, a narcissist may dress with yours in mind, hoping to improve their image in your presence or wield some control over getting you to do what they want.
Whether it's their charisma or their ability to dress like a chameleon, many narcissistic people can be incredibly charming at first, feeding into their toxicity and ability to manipulate others down the road.
2. They dress youthful for their age
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Many narcissistic people, according to psychologist Danish Bashir, also tend to wear clothes that are typically "too youthful" for their age. While there's no one definition of what this looks like — as it tends to be different for everyone — they generally dress themselves with the goal of being perceived as younger, more flashy, and eccentric.
While getting older is a natural part of life that can be difficult for many people to gracefully embrace, narcissistic people take a more dramatic approach to combating aging, especially if they're surrounded by younger people at work, home, or other areas of their life.
3. They wear high heels often
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A study published in Clinical Neuropsychiatry argues that narcissism is characterized by a grandiose sense of self — plaguing social interactions with an innate entitlement to control, a need to be superior, and selfishness.
Many narcissists try to embody this need for hyper-superiority in their wardrobes, in addition to their demeanor. From wearing tall high heels, to over-dressing for certain occasions, and taking up more space with eccentric outfits, narcissists can feel bigger, more confident, and more in control when they're literally taking up more space.
4. They wear less attractive clothes at home
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While the tendency to dress down at home is a commonality for people with narcissism and without, narcissistic people tend to take this dichotomy to the extreme. Considering the majority of their interactions, choices, and experiences are characterized by their need for external validation and praise, narcissists often dress up or curate their outfits with other people in mind.
When they're at home, however, they may completely disregard that image, putting on less flashy clothing and even neglecting their hygiene. Fueled by insecurity, like NYU experts explain, not confidence, narcissists don't feel drawn towards basic healthy habits or preventative hygiene steps at home, because they often don't care enough about their own basic needs to prioritize them.
5. They dress to outshine others
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Whether it's a meeting in the office or at a wedding, a narcissist is always hoping to be the center of attention — good or bad, depending on what they need.
In their minds, the desire to be the best, to outperform others, and receive praise for their superiority is the most important thing, like psychologist Seth Meyers argues, and they're willing to sacrifice relationships and curate eccentric closets to ensure they reap the external validation they're yearning for.
6. They're dressing like you
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In addition to being a "chameleon" and taking over other people's preferences to be more likable, narcissists often tend to dress like others. That means taking on a sporty vibe with athletes, more grandiose outfits with their professional colleagues, and dressing conservatively with a parent they're trying to impress or manipulate.
By making other people feel more comfortable with something as basic as a matching outfit vibe, narcissists can break down the walls and boundaries of others to ensure they're easier to manipulate.
7. They're fixated on wearing luxury and designer brands
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To maintain their grandiose sense of self and prestige, many narcissists will opt for luxury name-brand clothing items — not for their practicality, longevity, or craftsmanship, but for the status associated with them. If clothes can help to convey a sense of superiority amongst everyone they meet, sometimes without saying a single word, they're willing to manipulate others, spend irresponsibly, and even set their own stability aside to acquire them.
Narcissistic people are almost always operating with external validation in mind, like psychotherapy expert Elinor Greenberg argues, so if they can dress to turn heads, get compliments, and assert dominance through their closet, they don't mind putting everything aside to curate it perfectly.
8. They wear borrowed items from others
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According to licensed counselor Suzanne Degges-White, many narcissists feel a sense of entitlement and ownership over the people in their lives, especially relationships they're close with. From their time, to their money, clothes, and energy, they feel like the people around them are constantly in debt — and they're deserving of taking up any one of these things without judgment or guilt.
Many narcissistic people overextend their privileges and entitlement, like borrowing clothes from friends, not returning them, but wearing them out several more times before being called out for it. If you consistently find clothes going missing or notice your friend is wearing your clothes more than their own, consider it a sign they don't respect your things or boundaries.
9. They keep up with the trends
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Career prosecutor and author Wendy L. Patrick argues that a person's self-focus and narcissism can often be picked up from their commitments to fashion, an aura of chicness, and a commitment to current fads and trends. They always want to be on the edge of the "new," exemplifying their status through their ability to purchase new items, keep up with trends, and remain relevant, even through their closets.
10. They maintain a well curated look
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Of course, curating a look isn't just about the clothes you put on your body, it's about your entire image — from your hair, to nails, shoes, and general demeanor. In order to curate a very tailored image to their environment, many narcissists will put in more energy to groom themselves than the average person, doing their hair, picking out an attention-grabbing outfit, and ensuring everything is perfect before going out in public.
Even if it's just maintaining a superiority or status by dressing up or feeling put together in comparison to others, like a study published in the Journal of Research in Psychology argues, narcissists are willing to put in the extra effort to assert their misguided dominance.
11. They mismatch luxury and streetwear brands
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A study from the Psychology of Aesthetics, Creativity, and the Arts argues that narcissists have a tendency to mismatch their "lowbrow" consumerist purchases with costly luxury brands to convey a sense of self-worth, humility, and even manufactured personality. They struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem, so if they're able to craft their personality in unique ways like this, through their clothes and appearance, they can attract certain people and curate relationships that serve their best interests.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.