7 Things That Have Disappeared From Marriages Since Baby Boomers Got Married
Boomer marriages had a unique style and practices which have since disappeared, but they once were the norm.
Times change, people change, and marriage values and practices change. Change is an aspect of being human and a condition of the world. You only need to track the rapid daily headline news cycle to see how fast life can change.
There has been a lot of change for the Baby Boomer who is married and glancing around at the younger generations wondering how they navigate their marriages.
Here are the things that have disappeared since Baby Boomers got married:
1. Gender-specific roles
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Gender-specific roles and responsibilities no longer constrain partners in current marriages, says divorce attorney Jennifer S. Hargrave. In healthy marriages, both men and women share in the household and child-rearing responsibilities, while also contributing to the family's financial success, which is backed up by research from Washington University.
Many people of this generation grew up in two-income earner households. While GenExers still carry on many gender-based responsibilities while also working, the new generations are much more open to sharing those responsibilities.
2. Rituals of togetherness
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In Boomer marriages, the common events were shared dinners at the dining table, TV watching together with conversation, or nighttime walks, explains life and relationship coach Siddharth S. Kumaar, these customs generated chances for bonding that might be missing in the marriages of younger generations.
3. Family photo displays
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Marriage counselor Larry Michel has noticed an item that seems to have disappeared from today's homes: displays of family photos. A study sponsored by the British Computer Society suggested there may be a few pictures of the kids, but a wall or side table displaying the generations or extended family is a rarity these days.
4. Shared meal times
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Another item that seems to have slipped away over the years is shared meal times when couples would create a discipline of eating certain meals at certain times together, Larry Michel continues.
This still often happens when there are kids, as supported by research from The Journal of Adolescent Health, which shows economic class and generational as factors of family meal time, but even that has disintegrated with after-school activities running well into the evenings.
5. Eating together without phones
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Therapist Gloria Brame expands on the idea of the change in dedicated mealtimes, "When I was growing up, my parents served a balanced dinner promptly at 6 pm. There were no devices to distract us from the meal. That meant we had to talk to each other for entertainment."
"These days, couples are distracted by their jobs, friends, and devices, have fewer conversations at the table (if they even sit at a dinner table), and often rely on fast-food delivery or snacks to feel full."
A study from the American Psychological Association found casual interactions between partners were a contributing factor to relationship satisfaction, as was, more importantly, adherence to rules of social interaction between the couple.
According to Brame, "Dinner time doesn't have to be rigid, but the health of a marriage should make time for conversation every night, before you're sleepy or get caught up in a TV binge. It's also better for personal health to have a nutritious meal two to three hours before bedtime every night."
6. Stumbling upon a soulmate
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This innate sense of just 'stumbling' upon your soulmate is often a false belief perpetuated by older generations. The best thing you can do when looking for love is to honor a great match when you're lucky enough to find one, as shown by research in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
So, don't toss a good person aside simply because of timing. When you find the right one who makes your heart melt, treats you well, and is there for you, go for it, explains relationship coach Ronnie Ann Ryan.
7. Taking space and time before resolving disagreements
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One element that has diminished in modern marriages, though common among Boomers, is space and silence, explains therapist Richard Drobnick. When disagreements occur, Boomer couples often pause and embrace silence as a means to reflect and understand rather than as a form of avoidance or punishment.
This space provides time for emotions to cool before continuing the conversation. An American Psychological Association study supported how for men, this silence often takes the form of retreating to process their thoughts, and women also find value in quiet moments to regain clarity.
In today’s relationships, many couples feel the need to resolve conflicts immediately out of fear delays will signify disconnection or that their relationship is flawed if they can’t reach an instant agreement. With technology and constant interaction via social media, patience in emotional processing can seem outdated, unnecessary, or even odd.
Reintroducing silence into relationships requires trust — understanding space doesn’t mean separation. Instead, it promotes clarity, mutual respect, and deeper intimacy, concludes Drobnick.
The Baby Boomer marriage was suitable for their time, but as society changed and people grew aware of other possibilities, so did the values and practices of marriage. Good, bad, or indifferent, change will come and younger generations will adapt.
Will Curtis is a creator, editor, and activist who has spent the last decade working remotely.