Psychology Says If You Can Master These 10 Skills, You'll Remain Resilient Into Your 80s
The only person who can make you resilient is you, but these skills can give you a boost.
Curated Lifestyle | Unsplash If I had to pinpoint a single skill that will serve you more than any other in the coming years, it’s resilience. This is the ability to remain emotionally stable when life gets complicated.
Those who spiral into long-term emotional instability when something challenging happens are no good for themselves or the rest of the world. Resilience — in a fragile world — is becoming a superpower as you age.
If you can master these skills, you'll remain resilient well into your 80s:
1. Stop ruminating on past regrets
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You find ways to forgive yourself for your actions and even what others did. Those memories have less of a hold on you; in many cases, the things you once saw as regretful appear funny to you.
2. Give up the idea of ‘fixing’ yourself
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Instead, you’re prioritizing your projects, goals, experiences and generally kicking butt for fun. The concept of fixing yourself can be detrimental to mental health.
It often stems from a negative self-image and leads to a constant pursuit of unattainable perfection. 2010 research concluded that a more beneficial approach focuses on self-acceptance, personal growth, and addressing specific areas for improvement with compassion and realistic expectations.
3. Treat your body better
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In the past, you may have lost yourself in escapism and eating junk more easily. Good health strikes you as a far better direction to move in. It just comes naturally.
Treating your body well is crucial because it directly impacts your self-esteem, mood, stress levels, and overall well-being. 2020 research found this creates a positive feedback loop in which taking care of your physical health enhances your mental state and vice versa.
4. Don't take everything so seriously
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You can see the humor in things, even if they don’t initially present themselves as joyful or comical. People are attracted to your light-heartedness.
Not taking things too seriously, often called playfulness or a lighthearted attitude, is linked to positive outcomes like increased well-being, stronger social connections, better stress management, and improved creativity. According to 2020 research, a lighthearted perspective can help individuals better cope with setbacks and adverse events by allowing them to reframe situations in a more positive light.
5. Extract something useful from an experience that didn't go your way
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In the past, you may have dwelled on the misfortune for hours or days. You found yourself depressed and frustrated.
Now, you can find the lesson in hardship. Because of this, you can move on from perceived failures more quickly.
6. Quit overanalyzing
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You’re stewing on what you need to do less. You see less value in over-analysis. It just doesn’t seem like time well spent.
You know that when you get on with doing things and developing good habits, what you need strikes you then and there. You plan less and play with reality more.
7. Move past anxious or stressful episodes quickly
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Why? Because the futility of overthinking is evident. You see that most of your stresses and struggles are self-generated in your mind.
Even though stress appears to come from external things like annoying bosses, you know that any suffering ultimately comes down to you. Seeing this for what it is makes it easier to let go.
8. Become less triggered
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When someone says something that triggers you, you may feel a spark of anger. But that anger can be transmuted into calm more quickly now. You can create space between the seeming source of frustration and your reaction.
To react less angrily, individuals can utilize strategies like cognitive reappraisal, mindfulness practices to become more aware of emotions, deep breathing exercises to manage physiological arousal, and communication skills to express frustrations without aggression better. Research published in Clinical Psychology Review also showed that family background and learned coping mechanisms play a significant role in anger management abilities.
9. Take more interest in other people, rather than yourself
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Whereas before, you found yourself self-conscious more often, other people, and maybe their struggles, are more interesting now. This fosters social connection, enhances empathy, boosts self-esteem through positive social interactions, and can contribute to personal well-being by promoting purpose and belonging.
While caring for others is essential, a study published in Personality and Individual Differences explained that it's crucial to maintain a healthy balance and not neglect one's own needs and well-being. Excessive focus on others' needs can lead to people-pleasing behaviors, where individuals sacrifice their desires to gain approval.
10. Learn how to handle life
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It’s difficult to explain verbally, but there is an ever more present vibrancy in you that springs from a knowing that the future will work out and work out for the better.
A sense of control or locus of control essentially describes how much a person believes they have the power to influence the outcomes of their lives. Research from a 2020 study indicates that a strong sense of control is linked to better mental health, resilience, and coping abilities when facing challenges.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.