Woman's In-Laws Don't Know That She Speaks The Language They Use To Insult Her Until She 'Tells Them Off'
This family's blunder is a reminder that being kind is always the best choice.
Zigres | Shutterstock The golden rule is, “Treat others how you want to be treated.” Putting others down is never OK, even in a language they don't speak.
A woman’s in-laws constantly insulted her in German, not knowing she could understand every word.
“My husband Peter and I have been married for about three years,” the 27-year-old wife and mother wrote in her Reddit post. “We have one child together, and I was pregnant with our second.”
The woman explained that she is Canadian and her husband is from Germany. After living in Canada for years, they moved to Germany due to inflation.
"The day after our flights to Germany, we visited Peter’s family. This was the second time I [had] seen them — the first was at our wedding," she wrote.
They continued to visit his family often over the next few months. Still, it was an uncomfortable experience for the woman who realized her in-laws often spoke about her in German, making rude and unkind comments about her appearance and even her pregnant belly.
When she told her husband how hurtful his family’s comments were, he agreed to talk to them. This seemed to put a stop to the insults—at least until the pair had their second child.
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Everything changed when she had their second baby.
“I gave birth to a perfect baby girl that we named Lilith. Peter’s family was upset when they heard the name,” she said, explaining that they were upset because Lilith means "ghost" or "of the night."
"We didn’t pick this name because of its meaning," she clarified, "but because it is a name that every girl in my family has had for many years.”
The name choice created a bit of a rift in the family, and they didn’t see her in-laws for a while until her mother-in-law's birthday. "As soon as we showed up, things started to go badly,” she admitted.
“Everybody wanted to hold Lilith, which made my mother-in-law upset because people weren’t paying attention to her and made me overwhelmed,” she wrote. Due to postpartum depression, the woman was struggling to be around people and didn’t want anyone to hold Lilith.
“During dinner, I heard my sister-in-law talking to my mother-in-law in German,” she continued. “I heard her complaining about how she couldn’t hold my baby.” Her sister-in-law then called her something rude, and she'd finally had enough.
“I turned to my sister-in-law and mother-in-law and told them off in German. I said that I have always known what they have said about me, but calling me names was the last straw,” she recalled. “I also mentioned how I have known German almost my whole life.”
Peter’s family was none too happy with this revelation. “The table instantly blew up,” she shared. “People were yelling at me because, apparently, this was all my fault. I left with Peter, and we haven’t talked to them since.”
Being kind to others is important.
Treating others with kindness and respect is good not just for them, but for you too. Everyone would have been better off if her in-laws had refrained from insults and name-calling.
Per the Mental Health Foundation, “Acts of kindness are linked to increased feelings of well-being … There is some evidence to suggest that when we help others, it can promote changes in the brain that are linked with happiness.”
Being kind to others shows them they are cared for and respected. It is also a way of showing self-respect by demonstrating that it is important to you to treat others with dignity. This family did not show respect for themselves or this relative.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.