6 Huge Mistakes People Make On Social Media That Push Their Spouse Away
How social media can mess up your romantic life.
Becca Tapert | Unsplash Who would have known that social media would take over like it has, even in your relationship? It's not going away anytime soon. So, this means you need to get used to it.
But, I've always felt if you don't want people to know something about you, then don't post it on social media. Does social media damage your relationship? Here are the mistakes people make on social media that push their spouse away.
Here are the mistakes people make on social media that push their spouses away:
1. Oversharing
A lot of people want to share the good times in their life on social media. This can be fine, most of the time. But, some people may see this as self-indulgent or tacky. Also, some people like to share more than others.
This is a good time to have a conversation with your partner about social media. Your partner may not be as excited to share on social media as you are. Or, only want certain things shared.
It's alright to have differences about wanting to share on social media. It's important to work on a compromise that you both agree on. This way no one gets their feelings hurt.
2. Checking social media instead of checking in with each other
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This will cause your partner to feel neglected because you are spending time on social media when you are spending time together. I can't count the many times I go out to a restaurant and I see the couple next to me on their phones. They are out on a date. They should be talking to one another.
To be in a healthy relationship, I encourage couples to use "I" statements when this happens. Let your partner know how you are feeling.
Frequently checking social media during face-to-face interactions with a partner can significantly decrease feelings of connection and intimacy. It can also push a partner away by signaling a lack of attention and engagement.
A study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology showed that this behavior can lead to feelings of being ignored, decreased relationship satisfaction, and even jealousy due to perceived comparison with others online.
3. Continuing to interact with your ex on social media
This can drive a wedge in your relationship. Photos of your ex are out there, and they are likely to pop up again on social media. Make sure your partner knows that you don't have feelings for your ex anymore.
Also, you don't need to comment on posts that your ex makes. This can cause jealousy. Most likely, you have friends that your ex is friends with.
Make sure that you and your partner have clear rules as to how you handle your ex on social media. This will help create safety in the relationship.
4. Misunderstanding something on social media
In days where social media rules, it can be anyone's game. You may see a post from a friend that has your partner in it. You thought he was at work that day, turns out he wasn't. Not only can this cause problems with your partner, but it can also cause problems with your friends.
Misunderstanding something on social media can have a significant negative impact, leading to strained relationships, damaged reputations, public conflict, and even the spread of misinformation.
A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships explained that the stress of a social media misunderstanding can lead to anxiety, frustration, and other negative emotions for the individuals involved.
5. Checking social media before bed
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If you are checking social media before bed, your partner will begin to feel neglected. Let's face it, social media can be addictive. The next thing you know an hour has gone by.
Your partner has given up and gone to bed. Not only can this damper your intimate life it can affect your sleep.
I always tell clients not to go on social media or take part in screen time an hour before bed. The brain is a muscle and needs time to cool down. When you are on social media, you are just keeping your brain awake.
6. Using social media to cover up uncertainty in your relationship
Sure, everyone wants to be in a perfect relationship. But, in reality, there is no perfect relationship.
When you post pictures that make you look perfect, you will begin to feel a lot of pressure. You are trying to live up to something that doesn't exist. Not only does it not exist for you, but it also doesn't exist for anyone.
Let's face it, all relationships go through highs and lows. If you are with a partner who makes you feel like you need to be perfect, then you are with the wrong partner.
It's important to remember that you can't keep a secret on social media. Whatever you post will be seen by a lot of people. This means you need to be selective about what you post.
If you are having problems with your relationship on social media, this could mean you have underlying problems. It's important to talk to your partner about this. This may sound impossible, but if handled gently it can be done.
Strategically posting highly curated photos and updates on social media to present a facade of a perfect relationship, even when there are underlying doubts or issues within the partnership.
A study published by the Pew Research Center explained that trying to project an image of happiness and stability to the outside world masks any internal insecurities or concerns about the relationship's future. Seeing others' seemingly perfect relationships on social media can exacerbate uncertainty in one's relationship, leading to more pressure to present a similarly flawless online image.
Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She is dedicated to helping couples and has completed Levels 1, 2, and 3 at The Gottman Institute.