Parents Who Do The Best Job Raising Their Kids Follow These 15 Classic Life Lessons
How to help yourself be the best parent you can be.
Ben White | Unsplash Are you tired of feeling tired? Do you feel like you take care of everyone else? As a parent, you have a responsibility to take care of your children. But this doesn't mean you have to lose yourself in the process.
It's easy to overbook yourself and your child, especially when you don't know the best self-care tips to get started. If this goes on for too long, you will start to experience burnout which can lead to resentment. Maybe you didn't grow up in a family that valued taking care of yourself or you just never learned how.
If that's the case, that's alright, it's never too late to learn. All parents want their children to be happy.
This actually starts with you. Children learn by what they see. When they see happy parents, they will experience happy feelings. You are also starting happy and positive habits for your child.
Parents who do the best job raising their kids follow these 15 classic life lessons:
1. Say no
Stop saying "yes" when you mean "no." We know you want to be helpful. But this will only cause resentment in the long run. Make sure you stick to your "no." This is also a great way to get respect from your family.
2. Ask for alone time in the house
fizkes / Shutterstock
Send the kids out with your husband the next time he runs some errands. Many women benefit from some alone time in the house. Your house is your castle, so treat it that way.
3. Spend time with your friends
Make sure you have a girl's night out. Go to your favorite restaurant or hangout spot. Catch up on the latest topics with your friends. This will help remind you there is more to life than family.
Maintaining strong friendships benefits parents' well-being and can positively impact their parenting abilities. Strong social support from friends can help parents manage stress, provide emotional resilience, and model healthy social interactions for their children. However, a 2024 study explained that the quality of the parents' friendships is crucial, with high-quality, supportive friendships yielding the most favorable outcomes.
4. Pick up a new hobby
Try a cooking class or take a knitting class. You can also invite a friend. Trying something new is a great way to set a good example for your children. It's easy to get stuck doing the same thing. This will help break the monotony.
5. Change how you prioritize your list
Back before marriage, kids, home, and a job, you put yourself first. And it was easy. Stop putting yourself last on the list and start to put yourself first on the list. Many women feel guilty about this. But after they add some simple self-care to their life they begin to feel better.
6. Stop beating yourself up
Mistakes are part of life. We all make them and we all live through them. The best thing you can do is learn from them. Nobody is perfect. It's important to model this for your children, that way they won't feel like they have to be perfect.
Parents who can avoid beating themselves up generally practice self-compassion. A 2023 study explained that this approach involves acknowledging their mistakes while maintaining a positive self-image. It often stems from realistic expectations about parenting, understanding that occasional missteps are normal and not indicative of failure. This approach is associated with better mental health for parents and more positive parent-child relationships.
7. Set a goal, but be open-minded
Instead of setting a bunch of goals for yourself and the family, set one goal for yourself. Leave the date of completion open. For example, maybe you'd like to take a class online.
Go ahead and sign up for it without making it about a grade or being competitive with the other students. Give yourself permission to change your goal, if you need to.
8. Make exercise fun
If you enjoy exercise you are more likely to stick to it. Take a cardio or a spin class with some friends. They usually play good music. This helps get your mind off of everything else. Then, just enjoy moving your body.
9. It's alright to ask for help
When an adult becomes a parent, they feel a lot of pressure to know everything. Hopefully, by now you've realized that is not the case. Becoming a parent makes you realize how much you don't know.
Asking for help is a skill. It can really help you and your family. All parents go through highs and lows. Try asking your friends how they have gotten through the lows. Make sure you have a support network of family and friends.
While many parents struggle with asking for help, it is a sign of strength and good parenting to seek support when needed. This demonstrates self-awareness, prioritizes the child's well-being, and prevents burnout. However, an article published by the Center for Parent & Teen Communication explained that societal pressures to be the perfect parent often hinder this, leading to feelings of inadequacy when asking for assistance.
10. It's alright to have bad emotions
When you have a child who may be suffering from anxiety or depression, you may feel there is no room for your emotions. Or maybe your husband is at work a lot and his job is very stressful.
This may make you feel like you can't complain or feel bad. It's important to allow yourself to experience your emotions.
Whether they are anger, sadness, anxiety, or happiness. Nobody is happy all the time. This will make you feel pressured.
11. Laugh
Ground Picture / Shutterstock
It's just one word. Take time out to enjoy life and laugh. You can do this with your family or alone. Watch a comedy that you know will make you laugh. Enjoy the time that you have for yourself.
12. Play
You're never too old to play. Go to the park and swing on the swings or run through the playground like you did when you were a kid. Ride your bike and let the wind run through your hair. Kick the ball at the beach.
Just have some fun playing. This is good for you physically and emotionally. According to a Johns Hopkins article, parental playfulness is essential for a child's development.
It contributes to positive outcomes such as improved emotional regulation, reduced behavioral problems, better social skills, and a stronger parent-child bond. Playful parents can foster healthier and happier children with better coping mechanisms.
13. Slow down and relax
Carve out five minutes and do some deep breathing. This is also known as meditation. Five minutes a day is not much but over time it will make a big difference. You can always add another five minutes, try to get up to 30 minutes. Your mind and body will appreciate it.
14. Take a yoga class
This is great self-care. Yoga is about the mind and body connection. Add at least one yoga class a week to your schedule. There are many great classes out there, so, you shouldn't have a hard time finding one.
15. Take a bubble bath
This is a great way to end the day. Use your favorite soap and light a candle. Take a deep breath and just relax. Water is very calming. Make sure to clear your mind and stretch your toes.
Taking a bubble bath can significantly benefit mental well-being by reducing stress and anxiety and improving mood. Warm water immersion induces relaxation, which can stimulate the release of serotonin, the feel-good chemical in the brain. Studies have even shown that regular warm baths may have a comparable positive impact on mood as physical exercise, particularly for individuals experiencing mild depression.
Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She is dedicated to helping couples and has completed Levels 1, 2, and 3 at The Gottman Institute.