10 Basic Things People Want In A Partner — But Should Never Have To Ask For
Core things you shouldn't have to ask for in a good relationship.
JC Gellidon | Unsplash One thing that annoys me to no end about the modern dating scene is how we all have to beg for our dates to treat us decently. We shouldn't have to ask our partners to do these small things, but sadly these days, we often do.
Here's everything most people want in a partner and relationship, but shouldn't have to ask for.
Here are the basic things people want most in a partner but shouldn't have to ask for:
1. Respect
Respect means we want to have a partner who doesn't hit us, insult us, make jokes about us, or treat us like we're disposable. The problem is we have to ask people just to behave decently with us half the time. And we still end up having to deal with ghosting, insults, and everything else, regardless.
2. Equality
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In other words, we don't want to be the one who does all the household chores and brings in all the money. The fact so many women have to nag men to pick up after themselves is just sad.
3. Appreciation
We shouldn't have to ask for this, ever. However, most men just aren't appreciative of all the effort a woman puts in.
4. Commitment
When women have to ask guys to be committed, there's a problem. Sadly, we live in the Age of the self-centered, so this is unfortunately common.
5. Affection
A romantic partnership isn't romantic without intimacy. We shouldn't have to ask our partner to desire us, but we can communicate about our expectations.
"It's important to define what each of you wants and expects intimately, including frequency and forms of stimulation. What do you want more of? Less of? Be clear without assumptions.
What are the boundaries and deal breakers? What is desired? What is allowed? This may not be the most comfortable conversation, but it will prove to be one of the most vital in the overall health and longevity of the relationship," explained relationship coach Ann Papayoti.
6. Loyalty
In the old days, people actually would be there for each other. Nowadays, most people bail the minute stuff starts to go wrong, according to a study in the Personal Relationships Journal. Where's the loyalty?
7. Stability
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A study in the Journal of Family and Economic Issues reveals how many of us don't have enough savings in the bank for an emergency right now. A little stability would go such a long way for most of us.
8. Emotional Maturity
Ever notice how often our "dream dates" turn out to be emotionally immature? The fact we have to ask others to just be aware of their impact on others is both sad and very telling about the direction our society is going.
Divorce counselor Karen Finn elaborated, "A person with low emotional self-awareness is less likely to make behavioral adjustments and more likely to avoid future introspection. And that's precisely the person who most needs to become self-aware. Ironically, it’s as if self-awareness drives self-awareness."
9. Depth
In 30 years, most of the "handsome hunks" out there will not look so handsome anymore. Then again, neither will we. The shameful part about our society is we are so heavily trained to look at someone's looks, so we often forget there's more to a person than appearances.
10. Safety
This means they won't hurt us on an emotional or a physical level. Is this too much to ask?
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.