Woman Asks Why Society Often Reminds People How Hard Marriage Is Rather Than How Wonderful It Can Be
Marriage is not in the cards for everyone, but when you make the effort, it can go beyond your wildest expectations.
G-Stock Studio | Shutterstock If we want to get married sometime in our lives, we are often told by those who are already married, and even those who aren’t, just how difficult and life-altering the experience will be.
They remind us of the loss of identity they may face, the strain your relationship will endure after kids, and the challenges of keeping physical intimacy alive once the initial spark has died down. However, one married woman insists that marriage is not all doom and gloom. If you’re with the right person, she said that getting married will be one of the best decisions of your life!
The woman is pointing out that marriage can be just as wonderful as it is challenging.
According to the CDC, data shows that at least 41% of first marriages end in divorce. This can stem from a variety of factors, including communication troubles, a lack of intimacy, or simply growing apart as couples develop their own interests over time.
While marriage may not be the right choice for everyone, one woman believes that her own marriage was the best thing that ever happened to her. The young wife named Hannah took to TikTok and asked why, as a society, when many think of marriage, it is associated with hardships.
While she acknowledged that it can certainly be hard, difficulty is a part of life, and we learn how to manage it. Hannah described her marriage as one of the best things to ever happen to her despite its hardships.
“It is so much fun. I am so obsessed with my husband,” she said. Hannah believes that as a society, we should start preaching about how wonderful marriage can be and how the good outweighs the bad.
Other happily married people agreed with the woman's stance on marriage.
“Life is hard - marriage makes it way easier,” one TikTok user commented.“I’ve been married for 12 years and marriage is genuinely not hard. Communication is hard, apologizing is hard, etc. But if you do the hard and humbling things, your partnership makes life so much sweeter,” another user wrote.
“Marriage is NOT HARD if you like each other!! It’s the easiest, least stressful part of my life,” another shared.
While marriage certainly has its upsides, it is still important to recognize the fact that it is not something pulled straight out of a fairytale.
Even happily married couples put work into their relationships.
Romance novels and movies often sell people the idea that once a couple falls madly in love and walks down the aisle, there's a happily ever after and no more work. That's simply not reality. All relationships take work and effort. It never ends.
There will always be disagreements, from parenting to housework to finances. The difference between couples who stay together and couples who don't is respect and communication. As the above commenter noted, communication is the hard part.
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It can be difficult to work through marital problems, but with dedication and love, it can be one of life's greatest gifts.
Some of the difficulties couples encounter in marriage actually have nothing to do with the spouses themselves. In an article for Psychology Today, Gina Simmons Schneider, Ph.D., a licensed psychotherapist, wrote about a married couple she was counseling and the advice she gave them that allowed them to get back on track and deepen their relationship after the two experienced great financial difficulty.
“A couple, I'll call Emily and John Spencer, came to see me when their marriage faced a significant financial crisis. John had been laid off at the same time Emily's credit card spending had gotten out of control,” Schneider shared. “Initially, John raged at Emily about her spending. He blamed their financial struggle on her spending problem. Emily got defensive and blamed John's layoff for their current financial struggle. She had planned to pay down the credit card bill based on his earnings and her part-time job.”
During this difficult time, Schneider encouraged the couple to look back on what first attracted them to one another. “Emily said she loved that John had a great sense of humor. ‘He made me laugh. At the same time, he had very clear goals and a sense of confidence. We had fun together, and he made me feel safe.’ John said, ‘Emily dressed in this style unlike anyone else. She was creative with cooking, clothing, and conversation. She always surprised me with something new and exciting.’”
Through these revelations, John learned that Emily’s spending was her attempt to please him by buying things he liked. Emily learned that John feared he would let her down and was putting a lot of pressure on himself. “John and Emily stopped blaming each other and started working together on their shared goals and dreams,” Schneider happily reported.
Even though marriage is not a life path that everyone would choose, John and Emily’s story is a prime example of how the obstacles spouses face in a marriage can be overcome with the right focus and dedication. When there is a foundation of love, any challenge can be overcome as long as you are willing to try.
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.