People Share The 'Absurd' Marriage Advice That Actually Helped Them Get Through Bumps In The Road
Sometimes, the most unexpected advice has the biggest impact.
Ground Picture | Shutterstock Throughout your marriage, you're likely to hear lots of advice, solicited or otherwise. Some of it may sound ridiculous, yet the most unexpected advice can be surprisingly helpful.
In a Reddit thread, a user asked others for "random marriage advice [that] sounded absurd but was actually spot on." The answers did not disappoint.
Here are 6 pieces of 'absurd' marriage advice that actually help:
1. Opt for a king-size mattress
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"My father always said that the best thing he and my mother got for their marriage was a king-sized mattress over a queen size," the Reddit user began his post. "I always thought that was ridiculous until this last month my wife and I needed a new bed."
The pair took his father's advice, opting for a king-sized bed, and were shocked by how much better it was than their queen. “The extra room is awesome,” the user shared. “We can snuggle, or have some space ... and if our kids try and get in bed with us, there’s enough room that no one is getting a kid foot to the face.”
While there is no research proving that the size of your bed impacts your relationship, there is a correlation between sleep quality and relationship quality. If a bigger bed allows you to get better sleep, then your relationship will likely benefit too.
2. Never go to bed with dirty dishes
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Another Reddit user shared a piece of advice from their grandfather: “Never go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink.”
It sounds incredibly simple, but it goes much deeper than that. The user revealed that they weren’t just talking about dishes, they were emphasizing the importance of sharing household duties and using that time together as an opportunity to communicate. “He would always help my grandma, and that’s when they did their most talking,” they wrote.
Research shows that completing household chores together, rather than a divide-and-conquer approach, can improve your relationship, as the Redditor suggested. You don't even need to be doing the chore at the same time to reap the benefits, however. Even if you switch off, merely sharing a chore is beneficial as it results in feelings of fairness and collaboration.
3. 'When an argument is brewing stop and eat something'
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A Reddit user suggested that you may just be hungry — hangry, if you will — and picking a fight as a result.
Although often used in a joking manner, hanger is a scientific phenomenon. Dr. Kristin Lindquist, a Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, told NBC News that "hunger as a state actually causes a lot of shifts in hormones, brain processes, and the peripheral nervous system that are comparable to what we see in anger, fear, and sadness."
So, before diving headfirst into a fight, have a snack and reevaluate.
4. 'Randomly give your partner a cold beverage on a hot day'
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This piece of advice isn't really about the beverage, although I'm sure any partner would appreciate an ice-cold lemonade on a sweltering summer day. Ultimately it's about showing up for your partner in small ways.
"It's the little things that show you care," the Reddit user explained. While big, over-the-top gestures have their moments, in the day-to-day of marriage, the little things are far more important.
"Pay attention to the small ways in which your partner reaches for you and attempts to connect," the Gottman Institute advised. "Intentionally look for ways to turn toward your partner, and you will be better able to connect with them."
5. No TV in the bedroom
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Along with no television in the bedroom, this user also suggested partners go to bed at the same time. "It opens up so much more time for communication and closeness at the end of each day," they wrote.
Having a TV in the bedroom is a proven barrier to intimacy. Additionally, whether you're married, dating, or single, watching TV before bed disturbs your sleep, so it's best to leave the 50-inch plasma screen in the living room.
6. 'Fear and competition are the foundation of marriage'
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This piece of advice certainly sounds absurd — a relationship should be built on love and trust, not fear and competition, right? But the commenter clarified what they meant. "You should be scared of losing each other and in competition about showing each other the most love," they wrote.
While relationships shouldn't really be based on competition, and a fear of losing your partner is a sign of an insecure attachment style, the underlying point stands. You and your partner should love each other so much that you go out of your way to show that you care and are unwilling to lose them.
Erika Ryan is a writer working on her bachelor's degree in Journalism. She is based in Florida and covers relationships, psychology, self-help, and human interest topics.