6 Simple Things Husbands Can Do At Home So Their Wives Won't Want A Divorce, Says Research
Teamwork makes the dream work and in this case, the dream is your marriage.
Jacob Lund | Canva Studies have shown that women are more likely to initiate a divorce than men, but women and men initiate breakups in non-marital relationships at about the same rate. Simply put, women want out of their marriages, but not necessarily out of their live-in or long-term relationships, more often than men.
While social scientists and researchers debate the reasons for women's apparent willingness to leave their marriages, Columbia University Professor Heidi Grant Halvorson thinks she has an answer: Housework.
Here are 6 simple things husbands can do at home so their wives won't want a divorce, says research:
1. Pick up their clothes
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Seriously! They're on the floor, just two feet away from the clothes hamper.
It feels disrespectful if someone always expects their spouse to pick up after them while they continue to make even more of a mess.
According to Columbia University Professor Heidi Grant Halvorson, "The division of chores is a major source of happiness and unhappiness in marriages and those (chores) predominantly go to women even when women work as long as men do."
2. Help her with the dishes
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... or the laundry, or anything else that keeps the house reasonably clean and in good order.
If you do, your wife will be that much less exhausted at the end of the evening and that much more interested in pursuing some "extracurricular activities" later that night.
When the practical aspects run smoothly, there is more peace and harmony. However, research suggests that individual perceptions about the fairness of how tasks are divided are more important than having an actual 50/50 divide in the work.
3. Go to the grocery store
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Yes, your wife knows you hate it. She knows you're tired and that you don't feel like picking up milk and bread on your way home. But if you don't get them, she will have to do it.
That means she will be more tired and have less time in the evening for you. (See tip No. 2 if you have any doubt about what that means).
4. Put the dirty dishes in the sink
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It's okay if you want to snack on something while you're on the couch (or in bed even). Just put your dishes in the sink when you're done, and an occasional turn as dishwasher would be appreciated as well.
Studies consistently point out that even though many women work outside the home, they still tend to do most household chores. Evidence also indicates that this disparity was exacerbated significantly by the COVID-19 pandemic.
5. Clean the bathroom
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Most cleaning experts recommend cleaning the bathroom once a week. But cleaning the bathroom every other week is still fine, at least for the big stuff like the toilet and shower.
According to one study, “Women perform an average of four hours of unpaid work per day compared to men’s two and a half hours.”
6. Don't walk away if she says everything is 'fine'
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If your gut is telling you something is up with your wife, and you ask how she's doing and she says, "fine," dig deeper. Fine does not always mean okay.
It might mean she's crabby and exhausted and desperately needs you to see that and to show you care. Watch what she is doing and help her, talk to her, hold her, something. That little amount of extra care goes a long way.
Will helping with the housework automatically guarantee marital bliss? Probably not. But, if you're willing to commission a study to find out for sure, I'd be willing to volunteer my house for that research!
Karen Covy is a divorce coach, published author, and former divorce lawyer. She's spent decades helping divorcing people understand, get ready for, and manage their divorces.