3 Playful Traits Of Women Who Get Ahead — One Of Them Is The 'Single Most Important Differentiator' Of Successful Daters
Isn't it time that you had more fun in your life?
Rido | Canva Remember when you and your sweetheart first met? You counted the minutes until you saw him again. You called just to hear her sweet voice. The air was alive with the crackle of energy. You couldn’t get enough of each other and you were always on your best behavior.
It was easy to be playful. What happened to that wonderful, light, fun-filled feeling? And can you get it back? When playfulness disappears it leaves room for negative emotions such as crankiness, irritability, and ill humor. Playfulness inspires laughter. Laughter reduces stress and triggers feel-good hormones like endorphins. That's what you want back.
Here are 3 playful traits of women who get ahead:
1. Think like a child
Children find joy in play, often in the simplest things: a squirt gun, a Frisbee, a yo-yo, blowing bubbles, sidewalk chalk, a game of Twister, pillow fights, hide ‘n seek, a wading pool.
High curiosity, openness to new experiences, a lack of preconceived notions, and a firm reliance on imagination are often seen as positive qualities that can be harnessed for creative problem-solving and fresh perspectives. However, these qualities could manifest in extreme cases as immaturity or a lack of realistic judgment. A 2022 analysis found that the cognitive development of children to understand these characteristics and how they might be applied to adult thinking.
Take a hint! It’s okay to act like children, even be silly, especially when doing so results in a good laugh or a fit of giggles.
The cool thing about being playful adults (as opposed to playful children) is that it’s also OK if play takes you straight to the bedroom or when you pull the cards out, you play strip poker instead of Go Fish.
2. Put fun on your schedule
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Pick an activity (or two or three) that will be fun for both of you and put it on your calendar as a regular, recurring event. Sign up for dance or cooking lessons, or join a bowling league or a co-ed softball team. It doesn’t matter so long as you both find it fun.
Couples with higher relationship satisfaction also report spending more time together and having fun. According to a 2021 study, couples must balance their stresses, such as parenting, budgeting, and conflict management, by doing fun things together. There are no rules about what constitutes having fun.
Surprise your sweetie by scheduling a one-night stand and discover (or rediscover) the joys of hotel intimacy. Have a black-tie dinner for two and wear nothing but black ties. Use your imagination.
3. Flirt shamelessly with each other
Flirting is fun, sensual, and titillating. Whisper in each other’s ears. Wink across a crowded room. Send suggestive text messages.
Tuck her hair behind her ear. Adjust his tie. Dance provocatively.
Whatever it was that worked in your dating days, just do it again. And, since you’re past those early relationship days, you’re free to take it to a new level of sensuality and titillation.
Flirting while dating can have several positive benefits, including boosting self-esteem, enhancing feelings of connection and attraction, improving communication, and even strengthening the bond within a relationship by reigniting interest and excitement between partners. However, a study published in the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior found it's essential to maintain healthy boundaries and ensure flirting is done respectfully and within the context of the relationship.
Toss caution to the wind and just go for it. Playfulness. We can all use more of it.
Shela Dean is a relationship coach, retired attorney, and author.