12 Traits Of Weak Women Who Tend To Scare Off Men, According To Psychology
Men can sense underlying desperation.
perfectwave | Canva If there was one thing that caused me to fail in the dating world, it was my natural knack for having weak habits that scared away men. I was an expert at it back when I was still dating. To a point, I might have mastered the art of doing things to scare men away.
The truth is a lot of guys were right to be scared away. In most cases, they met me when I was at my lowest, and I was struggling with keeping myself together. In other cases, I was trying to scare them away to make them run away, simply because I didn’t want to argue with a man over rejection.
I’m not alone when it comes to being a weak woman who scares away men who could otherwise be interested. It’s hard to tell what you’re doing wrong, too.
Here are traits of weak women who tend to scare off men:
1. Talking about marriage and kids too quickly
It’s a cliché, but it happens. Women who try to bring up marriage and kids too soon on a date typically are shocked when guys bail on them. Guys are wary about the potential of being a means to an end. If they think you are more interested in a wedding or a baby than them, they will run.
2. Talking excessively about your ex
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Nothing quite says, “I’m not over my ex,” like talking about him a bunch during a date, as supported by an American Psychological Association (APA) study. It doesn’t matter if you’re comparing the date favorably to the ex, either. Besides, it’s hard to blame them for getting scared off. No one wants to feel like a second banana to an ex!
3. Getting blitzed during a first, second, or third date
I’ve been there, and yes, I know how bad it looks. Sadly, getting that drunk will scare away most guys who are looking for a relationship, as suggested by studies of romantic relationships and alcohol use.
4. Showing rage issues
For men, there are very few things as terrifying as a woman with anger issues. If they see you fly into a rage, they will get scared away pretty quickly.
5. Getting super-physically aggressive
At first, you won’t think you’ve scared him away with this. Most guys will go for it. However, from what I’ve seen, women who get hyper-aggressive in an intimate way aren’t the ones guys want a relationship with. (Their loss!)
6. Acting like a Nice Girl
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Yes, women can have Nice Guy Syndrome, too. It’s just as unappealing with women as with guys.
7. Wanting to be saved
I know how bad it is to want a knight in shining armor to save you. Trust me, I’ve been there. Unfortunately, we live in an age where men aren't required to be heroes to women anymore, as suggested by APA research that examined gender role portrayal and the Disney princesses.
Most guys tend to want women who are in better situations than they are, and the ones who don’t tend to be predatory toward women. If you want a hero, don’t be a damsel in distress. It will scare away most men and attract only the worst.
8. Not having any hobbies, friends, or a life of your own
Yes, I’ve also been there, sort of. This will scare away guys because it’s suffocating to feel like you’re the only life a partner has.
The truth is, guys want someone who’s multidimensional and would be able to enhance the life they already have. If you seem like you have no hobbies or life outside of the man you are dating, they’ll get scared away.
9. Getting irrationally jealous
Jealousy is not attractive. It’s scary, and guys are legitimately scared of dating a woman who would pull a Fatal Attraction with them. A systematic review of romantic jealousy in relationships showed if you can’t handle your feelings of jealousy, it may be time to take a break from dating.
10. Being overly dramatic
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If you seem like you’re a real-life Regina George, most guys will back away. Mean girls are not girls who guys want to date seriously, nor are women who seem like they would stir up drama for drama’s sake.
11. Begging for a date and acting desperate
Desperation isn’t attractive and negatively affects satisfaction in newly formed relationships, according to APA research. It doesn’t matter if you are gorgeous with a good job, guys don’t want a desperate person.
If you begged him to date you, hounded him with text messages, and snapped if he didn’t answer back, you shouldn’t be shocked when he decides to ghost. You’d probably do the same, right?
12. Revealing TMI
A wise person once said that spilling your guts is about as attractive as it sounds. Giving too much personal information is not attractive and often is a red flag for guys who want an emotionally stable partner.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, New Theory Magazine, and others.