12 Murky Phrases Men Use When They're Not Being Straightforward With You
Too many men put their foot in their mouths when trying to communicate.
Christa Boaz | Canva Men often accuse women of talking in code, but the truth is that they are just as guilty of not being straightforward or able to communicate well. Whether we like it or not, most people have moments where they may need a translator to understand communication differences between men and women. It’s okay.
We all have these moments where we wish we understood what someone means. Below is a list of phrases men say when they aren't being straightforward and can't communicate with women that tend to trip us up the most — and what these murky phrases mean.
Here are the phrases men use when they're not being straightforward:
1. 'I’m going through some stuff'
Any time that you hear this, you can expect it to be a cop-out for something. This is what guys say when they un-ghost, what they say when they don’t want to commit, and what they say when they’re trying to explain cheating. If you hear this, don’t believe it for a second. He’s just a jerk.
2. 'I'm putting relationships on the back-burner right now'
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When a guy says this, it’s his way of letting you down gently or just straight up telling you that he’s only viewing you as a “quick lay” type. When he says this, he’s saying, “I don’t want a relationship with you.”
4. 'I’m the man'
When a guy has to say that he’s “the man,” he’s trying to boost his self-esteem or status. This is especially true if he’s dealing with a woman who intimidates him in one way or another.
At times, this may also be used as his explanation for terrible behavior, but means he may hate women or he has weird double standards.
4. 'Ugh, friend-zoned again'
This is a line that’s said by guys who are just really unaware of how women think, and this may be a ploy to guilt you into a date. Men complaining about being friend-zoned often stem from feelings of rejection, a perceived entitlement to a romantic relationship despite not explicitly expressing their intentions, and potential underlying issues with self-esteem.
A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that this is particularly true when tied to societal expectations of masculinity and the constant pressure to pursue romantic interests. This can lead to frustration and anger when their advances are not reciprocated, even if the woman has communicated her platonic intentions.
5. 'You’re going to make someone very happy someday'
This is the male equivalent of a girl saying, “Let’s just be friends.” They may say that they’d rather be friends before they tell you this. Sadly, it’s probably the nicest rejection you could have from a guy.
6. 'I’m just waiting for the right time to ask for a divorce'
Though there are rare instances where this isn’t the case, men who regularly bring up how unhappy their marriages are typically do so because they want a side piece.
More often than not, they’re not unhappy with their wives nor are they even just “staying for the kids.” They just want to have cake and eat it, too. Don’t fall for the pity ploy.
7. 'Not all men are the same'
The big difference between guys and girls is that guys will take a girl’s complaints about bad dates and bad experiences as a personal affront to them. Meanwhile, girls understand there’s an implicit “not all people” label there.
What a guy means when he says this is, “I feel villainized because I don’t understand that it’s not about men as a whole, and I don’t want to feel punished for some other guy’s wrongdoings.”
8. 'You’re prettier without makeup'
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When guys say this, they don’t typically understand what goes into a makeup look that appears to be “natural.” However, this doesn’t mean that they don’t mean this.
What they’re trying to say is that they don’t like makeup that looks unnatural (like bright lipsticks) or makeup that smears on their shirts (like that cheap foundation you love to hate). They’re also saying they think you’re pretty. It’s a compliment.
This often stems from an association with natural beauty, perceived authenticity, and a desire for a more genuine appearance. It may signify a preference for a long-term partner rather than a fleeting attraction linked to heavy makeup.
However, a 2019 study showed that many men may still find women more attractive with subtle or natural makeup, while heavily applied makeup can sometimes be seen as less desirable.
9. 'I miss you'
What this means all depends on where you are in your relationship with him. If you’re just starting to go out or are still happily in love, it means that he legit just misses your company. If you broke up with him, it most likely means that he only misses the perks of what your relationship brought to him.
10. 'I’m sorry'
Ninety percent of the time, when guys apologize, they aren’t sorry. They just are sorry that the argument is happening or that they’re caught doing something they shouldn’t have done. In other words, when guys apologize, a lot of the time they just want the drama to cease.
11. 'I don’t care'
This one tends to have a remarkably different meaning when said by men vs. women. When women say this, they usually really do care but they’re usually hoping you’ll know what to do or don’t want to raise the issue with you out of fear of being called melodramatic.
(The exception to this rule, of course, is menial stuff like restaurant choice.) When guys say this, they truly don’t care.
12. 'I need a break'
This one is plain English: he’s saying that he’s dumping you. When men tell women they need a break, it often stems from a combination of factors, including difficulty expressing emotions, pressure to be strong, conflict avoidance, stress management strategies, and sometimes underlying issues within the relationship itself.
A study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy found that not all instances of a man asking for a break indicate unhealthy patterns. Sometimes, a temporary period of space can benefit reflection and personal growth.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.