Psychology Says Women Who Master These 6 Skills Are Seen As Wife Material
Unusual tips to make real love happen for yourself.
Anna Shvets | Pexels "To Fall in Love, Do This," tells the story of psychologist Arthur Aron and his study of how he made two people fall in love in his laboratory. The author of the New York Times article tried Dr. Aron's method by responding to his 36 questions and gazing into her date's eyes for four minutes. She and her "partner in crime" fell in love and got married, just like the couple in the original experiment.
It could work as a dating coach for women. However, both people must be open and willing to produce results. The article's author was lucky because the man she chose for this experiment was someone she knew, and he was willing to push the envelope to see what happened.
Women who master these skills are seen as wife material:
1. They're ready to meet plenty of prospects
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If you want to try the 36 questions, you need to meet a lot of people to find one willing to give this a shot. If you don't want to use Dr. Aron's method, you still need to meet lots of people because this is the only way to find a good match.
When I was looking for love, I dated 30 men in 15 months. That's how I found the man I'm happily married to for nearly 15 years. I don't know how many potential dates you'll need; it could be fewer or more than 30, but there is only one way to find out.
The Pew Research Center findings suggest that meeting many people, often facilitated through online dating platforms, significantly increases the chances of finding a good romantic match. This allows individuals to explore a wider range of potential partners beyond their immediate social circle, leading to greater diversity in potential compatibility and a better chance of finding someone who aligns well with their needs and values. However, the quality of the match depends heavily on effective communication and compatibility beyond initial attraction.
2. They're willing to meet different types of people
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Many of my clients only want to meet a certain type of man. They seek a partner who is successful, super smart, funny, willing to travel, and so on. But what about qualities like knowing how to cherish yourself, being relationship-ready, or talking things through calmly when issues arise? These are characteristics of a mate with lasting power.
I'm not saying you need to settle for someone who is not what you want, but please consider all the people who could be a good match, even if they don't have all the qualities you might wish to. Ultimately, for love to last, you need a partner who will invest in a loving relationship with you.
Research published in Acta Psychologica indicates that while people generally prefer to interact with individuals similar to themselves, known as the similarity-attraction effect, a growing body of work highlights the benefits of being open to meeting different types of people. This openness increases exposure to diverse perspectives and personal growth. It is often linked to personality traits like a high openness to experience and extraversion.
3. They're open and vulnerable
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To connect with a love interest and have a good heart connection, you'll need to share who you are openly and be vulnerable. I'm not saying to be a doormat or spill your guts.
The 36 questions build on each other and become more intimate with what's shared. If you do this the traditional way, over several dates you will start to share more of who you are beneath the surface, and they will need to do the same.
4. They believe they will find love
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Without a firm belief, your efforts to find love will result in the relationship you dream of, and you will not feel motivated to continue the search. Why bother if everything is going to be fine?
If you don't believe, you won't be able to see this journey through. A willingness to persevere keeps you going and prevents you from spiraling downwards after a few bad dates.
Believing you will find love, often tied to concepts like the one or soulmates, can positively impact one's outlook and actively seek out potential partners. A 2023 study published in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology shows that many people across various demographics hold such beliefs, particularly regarding the idea of a soulmate. However, overly rigid beliefs about finding "the one" can sometimes lead to unrealistic expectations and potential disappointment if not managed appropriately.
5. They have confidence in themselves
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To quote Steve Harvey, as a woman, you need to know you are "the prize." Your self-worth cannot rest in the arms of another. No matter what, you have to know deep within that you are a wonderful, deserving woman who has every right to find love.
6. They understand that natural attraction matters
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Let's be honest: a certain amount of attraction must exist between the two parties, regardless of their qualities. Without the attraction, answering questions or gazing into each other's eyes will not somehow transform into love.
A 2022 study published in Evolution and Human Behavior consistently shows that natural attraction, mainly physical attractiveness, plays a significant role in initial attraction and relationship formation. It is often considered one of the most critical factors in deciding whether to pursue someone romantically, surpassing traits like personality or intelligence in the early stages of dating. However, the importance of physical attraction tends to decrease over time as deeper connections develop within a long-term relationship.
Finding love is often a choice. How can I say that? Think about it this way:
Will you take the steps to meet lots of people? Will you date other kinds of people besides just your type? Can you allow yourself to become vulnerable to find that heart connection?
Do you have confidence in yourself, and if not, will you work to build it? Do you believe you can find love? Will you persevere until you find a partner?
If you answer yes and take the steps, chances are very strong you will be successful. Regardless of your romantic history, love is completely possible at any age. It's up to you.
Ronnie Ann Ryan is an Intuitive Coach, Past Life Reader, and author of six books. She’s the creator of the free audio course How to Ask the Universe for a Sign and Get an Answer Within 24 Hours. She's been published on ABC, BBC, and NPR.