7 Subtle Signs Your Brain Is Literally Wired For Love, According To Research
Love changes your brain and how you think.
Oleg Fotografo | Shutterstock When we fall in love, we often think of the wonders it does to our hearts and soul. But there's another organ that's deeply affected by your loving relationships: your brain.
And it goes far beyond feeling emotions from sappy love songs, puppy dog eyes, and emoji heart-filled texts. When you're head over heels for someone, some parts of your brain are activated, and others are switched off. That's the science of love: it "rewires" a person's brain circuitry.
That's right — love, both romantic and platonic, is altering the way you think. Smitten with someone? Your brain may be helping you along!
Seven signs your brain has been transformed by love, according to research:
1. You're craving more
Ever hear that love is a drug? Well, there may be some truth to that. Your brain houses these intensely passionate feelings using the same system that's activated when a person feels hooked on something, from the euphoria you feel to your cravings for more. Sure, it might be a much healthier obsession, but let's face facts, shall we? You're hooked!
2. You go from 'me' to 'we'
Miljan Zivkovic via Shutterstock
It's not just "me, me, me" anymore. Now, there are two of you to think about — and your brain will automatically pick up the changes.
From birth, we're linked to our mothers and much to scientists' surprise, the connection transforms and changes with each relationship we have. The bond you share with your partner or children runs way deeper than just on the outside.
A study in the Journal of Research in Personality linked using first-person singular pronouns (me, myself, and I) to higher rates of depression than those who say "we" and "us." More proof that healthy relationships are invaluable.
3. You live longer (and become wiser)
Falling in love is as good for your heart as it is for your mental health. Research from Frontiers in Human Neuroscience showed that people in love report higher levels of dopamine, which is linked to pleasure, desire, and euphoria. Studies in Journal of Marriage and Family reported that some people in positive, healthy relationships live longer, are happier, wiser, and have better mental health.
4. You're more supportive
One of the biggest benefits of falling — and staying — in love is that you'll learn what it's like to lean on (and support) another person. Building trust in a relationship is critical. And your brain helps you out with that.
Through MRI scans, researchers have found that when we fall in love, the frontal cortex — the area of the brain that's responsible for judgment — shuts down. So when we're in love, we're less likely to be critical or skeptical of the person we care about.
5. Your stress levels decrease
eldar nurkovic via Shutterstock
Some of us might mistake those butterflies surrounding your first kiss — but there's no way your brain will ever forget how it first felt to be touched by someone you're in love with.
Here's the completely crazy part: in healthy relationships, holding on to your partner's hand is enough to keep you from stressing, lower your blood pressure, ease your physical pain and improve your health, as explored by a study in Psychological Science. A healthy, encouraging relationship alters your brain function.
6. Your brain (and face) light up when you see them
Wondering what the key to longevity is in a relationship? Scientists found it. In a study that assessed couples who defined themselves as "madly in love," scientists found the reward centers of their brains lit up after just looking at a picture of their spouse.
In the calm and stress sites of the brain, researchers found a reduction in light-up activity. Let the bright lines shine, baby!
7. You feel safe
Similar to the first bonds babies make with their mothers, the feeling of security will emerge in your relationship. As you age and change, your body remembers the brain cycles and stages that you went through in your youth, so when you feel reconnected to your baby self, those feelings of safety and contentment will come flooding back.
Research published in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience also showed when we feel love for someone, it shuts down the part of our brain that controls fear and negative emotions.
Kylie McConville is a freelance writer, editor-in-chief at Apartment Therapy, and founding editor of Romper. Her bylines have appeared in BDG, Yahoo, Bustle, Elite Daily, Romper, The Bump, and others.