10 Subtle Signs Of A Woman Who Has Outgrown Her Partner
Don't get stuck when the signs say to move on.
Burhan Alibas | Shutterstock It can be a painful realization to know you have outgrown your partner or to see you are stuck in a dead-end relationship.
But it is so important to not get stuck with a person you have outgrown and move on to find someone who is a worthy recipient of all you have to offer. If you have a gut feeling or nagging instinct you are stuck, read on to find the obvious signs of when to end a relationship.
Here are 10 subtle signs of a woman who has outgrown her partner:
1. She doesn't see them as a couple when she envisions her future
Everyone has goals and a vision about how they want their future life to look. Someone could aspire to go backpacking in Europe, and someone could aspire to open a yoga school, or someone could start their own company.
If you find you can’t envision your partner alongside you in your future life, then it’s a clear sign you are stuck in a dead-end relationship and you have no inkling to move forward with this person.
2. She's acting more like a savior than a partner
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A relationship is a partnership between two equals. Both of them have a fairly balanced give and take in terms of love, support, and affection. But if you feel like you are the only one who is providing support and affection to the other person and acting more like a savior than a partner, then you seriously need to rethink your relationship.
If you are constantly trying to fix or change your partner, then it’s a serious incompatibility red flag. It clearly shows you don’t like them as they are now.
You want them to be in a different job or a career, you want them to be more outgoing and adventurous, you want them to be more intellectual and deep and are constantly trying to get them to level-up, then you don’t love them — you love the image or potential you have in your head of them.
While none of us are perfect and we should support our partner to blossom into their highest potential, if we don’t like them at all for who they are right now and are constantly trying to fix them, it’s a lost cause. You’re just not compatible and you should probably move on!
3. She doesn't trust her partner not to hurt her
Trust is the single most important factor in a strong, fulfilling, and long-lasting relationship.
Some people have trust issues because of what happened in their past or due to something that happened in their current relationship, as supported by an article in Social Cognition Journal. But until a person heals and resolves the issue, they would just sabotage even a good and loving relationship.
If you feel like you don’t trust your partner or they don’t trust you even after trying to resolve the issues, then sweetheart you need to think long and hard. Do you want to be in a relationship with no trust?
4. She's started dreaming of someone else who is more mature
A relationship has different stages. In the initial stages, both partners are trying to figure out if there is any compatibility and if they would like to take this relationship to the next level. The next stage could be anything depending on which stage of a relationship you guys are at. It could be moving in together, planning to get married, or having kids.
But if you have spent considerable time with your partner and you're dreaming of someone else who is more mature, emotionally intelligent or "together", you've probably outgrown the person you're with.
5. She's putting in way more work than her partner
A relationship is a partnership between two people. But it is astonishing how we lose sight of this fact when we are in love.
An American Psychological Association article helped show that when we love someone, we tend to overlook the ways they are not playing their part in the relationship. And it happens more so often for people who are forgiving and patient, kind. But if this habit is not kept in check, it can lead you to a certain delusional space.
If you are the only one making efforts to make the relationship work, you are the only one who tries to keep in touch, you are the only one who makes plan for dates, you are the only one sacrificing your needs for a relationship and your partner is not getting his crap together time and again, you need to step off your delusional ride they are going to change.
If you are just sticking around and being forgiving, hoping for some miracle they will change, you’re probably in a dead end relationship. Don’t settle because you are afraid of being single, it’s much better to be on your own than being with someone who is not there or half there.
6. Her bestie and parents don’t approve
Not all your loved ones need to get along with each other. But if your bestie or family doesn’t approve of your partner at all, it is a wise thing to pay heed to what they are saying. They usually have our best intentions at heart and probably can see the red flags from a neutral stance we would miss due to our love-struck rose-colored glasses.
It could be because they see you deserve better and your partner is not treating you with the love and respect you deserve.
7. Her partner has said things to make her feel insecure
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Whether it's on purpose or by accident, a person saying something demeaning about you or someone else can stick with you. If they didn't make it right, they may have done it to control you or keep you down from them — which is a definite sign of emotional immaturity, as discussed in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
Regardless of why it happened, you need to do the work to get past it and find a relationship with someone who wants you to feel loved, secure, and perfect for them.
8. Her connection with her partner is more physical than mental or emotional
A good relationship is one where you connect with your partners on all levels: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. But if you share only great physical chemistry with your partner and no emotional or mental compatibility, then the chances this relationship is going to last for long are dim.
The spark and physical chemistry fade away after some time, and if you don’t have any real or solid bond or connection beyond the physical, it is a clear sign it is a dead-end relationship.
9. She doesn't want the same things out of life
You two may be madly in love with each other, but if you want different things from life, then you won’t be on the same page. Therefore, it is important to find out what your partner is looking for from a relationship. Not just when you're first dating, but after you've spent some time together in a committed relationship — because things change more than we expect when committed. I
If you are looking for "forever" and he is only looking for a few years of fun together, this is a sign you've outgrown them.
10. The relationship is on and off
An "almost relationship" just gives you an illusion of a relationship while it’s far from it. If you find yourself in a relationship full of ups and downs, and feel like a roller coaster ride, your relationship is far from stable. You need to pause and think long and hard if it's really what you want.
A study in the European Journal of Personality, helped show If you are in a relationship that is on and off, you are together for some time, everything seems magical until you get into a cycle of silent treatment, arguments, and toxic energy, and break up only to come together again like nothing happened. This might look like an adventure, but it is highly draining to stay in these kinds of unstable relationships.
You don’t have to stay in a relationship that exhausts you more than it calms you and doesn’t meet your needs consistently. You don’t have to lower your standards just because you are afraid of being alone. And you don’t need to keep up with inconsistent and toxic behavior, just let go and move on!
Shweta Advani is an HR consultant by profession, a slam poet, and a freelance writer.