10 Comforting Signs A Person Is Truly Happy And Thriving, According To Research
A person is genuinely happy if they exhibit these signs.
cottonbro studio | Pexels Everybody wants to know how to be happy and to be happy. You spend so much time at work trying to get ahead and make more money because you were told that if you do more, you will get more. In reality, that is not always the case.
I've found many people who work a lot and try to get ahead but are not happy. What happens is that they feel like it’s never enough. This makes them unhappy and angry, which can lead to burnout.
I’ve also noticed that when people are having fun, they seem to find happiness. I’ve even heard them say that they just stumbled upon it. We live in a society that leads us to believe that with more material things, we will be happier. However, the highest levels of stress are being reported.
You probably know where I'm, going with this: be happy with what you have. Enjoy the process and trust in it. When you don’t feel forced to get ahead, that takes off the pressure. Then, you can be happy — and these comforting signs, all backed by research, will show you're truly thriving.
Here are the comforting signs a person is truly happy and thriving:
1. They live in the present
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You spend so much time thinking about the past. Playing it over and over in your mind and thinking about all your regrets.
You also worry about the future. Will you have enough money for your vacation, your child’s college tuition, or retirement?
The list is endless. I’m here to tell you, that you can’t go back and you can’t predict the future. This only leaves the present. This is the only thing you can control so use it wisely.
2. They let go of negative thought patterns
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This means that you need to take a look at your mindset. What do you tell yourself? For example, a friend tells you about an opening at the company she works at. She tells you, it’s the perfect job for you.
She knows you would like to leave the company you are at. But, your first thought is, "I know they won’t like me, they will either think I’m overqualified or don’t have enough experience."
The more you tell yourself this the more you will believe it. If this continues, it can lead to depression. This is the perfect time to change your thought pattern. Have an open mind, give it a shot, and go in without expectations — you can always learn something.
The more you interview, the more likely you will get a job offer. By doing this you are starting to change patterns in the brain.
Letting go of negative thought patterns is crucial for mental well-being, as persistent negative thinking can significantly contribute to anxiety, depression, and reduced quality of life.
A 2019 study highlighted the effectiveness of cognitive behavioral therapy techniques in helping individuals identify and challenge these negative thought patterns, leading to improved mood and coping mechanisms.
3. They give without expecting anything in return
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Unless they have caused some type of trauma in your life or those close to you. Studies have shown that when you help others, you feel better about yourself. Speak positively of others.
When you talk negatively about others, it will eventually bring you down. You will also attract people in your life who like to gossip. When you are around people who gossip all the time, you start to wonder what they say about you when you aren't there.
This can also make you second-guess yourself. Practice giving without expecting anything in return. You can volunteer at a soup kitchen or give to the poor. They are very appreciative.
4. They allow spirituality into their life
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You may be thinking she wants me to go to church more often. Well, that’s one way to bring more spirituality into your life.
But, if there is no meaning behind it then it is probably pointless. You may want to read the Bible or you may not want to read it. What is most important is the meaning of spirituality in your life.
Start bringing prayers to your life. You can make one up or use a standard one. I always pray after I meditate.
This is another part of spirituality that the Western culture has gotten away from. The more you meditate and pray, the easier it is to live in the present.
Incorporating spirituality into one's life can significantly improve mental health, resilience, and overall well-being by providing a sense of purpose and meaning, a connection to something larger than oneself, and effective coping mechanisms for dealing with stress and adversity.
2021 research showed links between spirituality and higher levels of happiness, life satisfaction, positive relationships, and reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety.
5. They eat healthy foods and exercise
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I’m not saying you need to go Paleo right now and spend hundreds of dollars on a trainer. But, if you do that’s alright. You are investing in your health. What’s important is that you take care of your health.
It surprises me how living in the United States, how bad our diet and fitness regime has gotten. We are more educated and financially stable but still make poor food and fitness choices. You would rather be at a desk in front of a computer all day. And, when I say all day I mean all day.
Take breaks, get up and walk around, go outside, and most importantly, make healthy food choices. Stay away from sugary and caffeinated drinks. You may think they keep you going, but in the long run, you will crash.
6. They live minimally
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You may remember what I was saying earlier about feeling that it's never enough. It’s true the more you have, the more you want.
You also forget about what you do have. A lot of the time, when you are at the top, you are stressed out. You don’t have the time to enjoy what you have.
Declutter: this may mean cleaning out your closet, garage, or your whole house. When you have clutter in your home it clutters your mind.
This has been proven in studies. Start to cut out things you don’t need. Make time to get to know your neighbors or spend more time with your family.
Living minimally can significantly improve well-being by reducing stress, enhancing focus, fostering a sense of contentment, and allowing individuals to prioritize experiences and relationships over material possessions.
A 2023 study explained that this ultimately leads to a greater understanding of purpose and life satisfaction, which is often attributed to the mental space created by decluttering and simplifying one's environment. It also allows for better cognitive function and emotional regulation.
7. They spend time outdoors
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Nature is good for your mental health. You spend a lot of time at the office, in fluorescent lighting and surrounded by concrete.
You need to take the time to enjoy nature. Go to the beach, play at the park, or go on a hike. Make sure you stop and look at the Redwoods. Every tree has a story to tell.
Many of them have been there for centuries. Invite your friends and family. When you are walking in nature, you are bound to open up and have a great conversation.
8. They remind themselves to smile
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Start your day with a smile. Does this mean you have to smile at someone? No, when you put a smile on your face it changes your perspective.
You would be amazed at how many people start the day angry. Thinking about what their boss did or didn’t do. The list is endless.
It just takes one angry thought and the next thing you know, you are thinking about everyone and everything you are angry about. Put a smile on your radar.
Remind yourself every hour to smile. This may sound silly to you, but you are more likely to listen to body language rather than what is said.
Have you ever been around someone who doesn't smile? Uh, awkward.
Remembering to smile is important because it can positively impact mood, social perception, and memory recall. A 2021 study showed that simply posing a smile can trigger the release of feel-good chemicals in the brain, making you feel happier.
It can even improve how others perceive you as more approachable and friendly. Additionally, the research suggests that smiling while trying to remember something can enhance memory recall, particularly for positive emotions, due to the facial feedback phenomenon, where facial expressions influence our emotional state.
9. They form deeper relationships
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Invest in all of the relationships in your life. I know that you don’t have time for everyone.
But, when you are with the people you love and you know love you back, make sure to let them know they are an important part of your life. You can ask them questions and listen with interest when they are talking.
Don’t brush them off and tell them you are too busy. Nobody feels loved when you tell them you are too busy. This is very damaging to any relationship. Try to avoid saying this.
10. They know they deserve happiness
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This does not mean you need to be happy all the time. But, it’s surprising to me how many people don’t think they deserve happiness. You may feel you need to earn it.
And, that means you must work hard for it. Happiness is your natural born right. If this is you, then tell yourself every day you deserve to be happy. Say it until you believe it.
Start today by taking at least one of these steps to be happy. Next, ask yourself why you haven’t taken these steps. Is busy the answer? If the answer is yes, what does that tell you? You need to set aside time for yourself. This is not selfish. If you don’t you will eventually burn out.
Believing you deserve happiness is strongly tied to self-esteem and influenced by past experiences, social norms, and cognitive patterns. Individuals with low self-worth often believe they don't deserve happiness, which can lead to self-sabotaging behaviors and difficulty experiencing joy.
However, a 2014 study emphasized that everyone has the inherent right to happiness and encourages practices like gratitude, mindfulness, and focusing on personal strengths to cultivate a sense of deservingness.
Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She is dedicated to helping couples and has completed Levels 1, 2, and 3 at The Gottman Institute.