3 Rare Qualities That Make A Woman Totally Unappealing To Men, According To Experts
They’re uncommon, but when they show up, they’re total dealbreakers.
Ehsan Ahmadi | Unsplash In case you forgot, these are the numbers that determine beyond all mathematical doubt that someone or something is aesthetically pleasing to human senses and sensibilities. It's how we quantify physical beauty, yes. But it's more than that. It's a measurement of balance, consistency, harmony, and functionality.
If someone likes the way something (or someone else) looks, they generally believe it (or that person) is useful — or in the case of romantic attraction, worth pursuing as a partner. Hence, the aesthetic-usability effect is a manifestation of attractiveness.
Of course, this just scratches the surface of the topic. So, we reached out to three YourTango Experts relationship authorities to ask how women might be coming across as unappealing to men — be it surface beauty or personal charisma.
Here are the rare qualities that make a woman unappealing to men:
1. Talking too much about your shortcomings and insecurities
When we get comfortable with people we start to tell them how we feel. The problem with that is that we are often insecure and have had endless bad things happen to us. When I repeatedly tell a potential partner or my official partner that I feel unattractive, that everyone always leaves me, that my abandonment issues are triggered, etc.
I feel as though I should be able to say these things to someone I’m contemplating forever with but if I see myself as someone everyone walks away from they could start seeing me the same way. My insecurities could become self-fulfilling prophecies if I continue to give them energy. When it comes to confidence it’s often begged to “fake it until you make it,” instead of letting your insecurities get the best of you and ranting about all your imperfections.
What are you hoping to accomplish by discussing your insecurities? Are you hoping to receive some words of affirmation? It’s better to ask directly or put on something attractive and wait for the compliments to flow organically. Your words are powerful. Speak with caution.
—Erika Jordan, love coach, NLP
2. Giving off negative energy
pixelheadphoto digitalskillet / Shutterstock
Not smiling is a way to diminish your attractiveness. I have heard in my practice that some people pride themselves in having Resting B Face. Usually, when I ask about the concept, the motivating factor is fear, social anxiety, or low self-esteem, and having a frown or pout is known to push people away, intimidate, or create a way of being unapproachable.
People will choose to smile once they get to know someone. Choosing to smile most days every day is an easier more effective approach and is proven to improve your attractiveness. People are drawn to a smile and positive energy. Smiling releases a chemistry in our brain that makes us happier, more approachable, and more attractive.
Seeing a smiling face in a sometimes angry and sad environment is a breath of fresh air. Smile today and you will be pleased with the response from the people that you attract.
—Dr. Susan Pazak, clinical psychologist and life-change expert
3. Assuming you know better than the other person
Attraction has to do with alignments — values, communication styles, likes, desires, attitudes, and of course, body types. This person feels like a great fit and their behavior proves it until it doesn’t.
Problems arise through small habits like becoming less attentive, poor hygiene, inconsistent behaviors like huge gaps in returning calls or messages, and priorities suddenly changing with no indication of why.
But the biggest downer is anytime a person assumes they know what you need, want, or desire — but turns out to be wrong — the attraction is likely to burn out.
— Larry Michel, AKA the Love Shepherd, and founder of the Institute of Genetic Energetics
Carter Gaddis is a writer and editor who spent 24 years as an award-winning sportswriter for newspapers in Florida and for various online publications, including ESPN, Parenting Magazine, and the St. Petersburg Times.
