11 Phrases Brilliant Women Say Once They Stop Chasing And Start Attracting
We often chase what we want, only to find the resolution was within us all along.
Alones | Shutterstock Throughout our lives, we often pursue what we desire, only to find that the fulfillment we seek has been within us all along. When we take ownership of our lives, we come to understand that we are enough just as we are. There's no need to dim our light or change ourselves to fit in. Embracing wholehearted acceptance allows us to navigate the world with poise.
Once women stop chasing and begin to attract, they express phrases that highlight their growth. These women have a clear sense of self. They attract all the love and abundance they desire by prioritizing themselves first.
Here are 11 phrases brilliant women say once they stop chasing and start attracting:
1. ‘I release what no longer serves me’
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Brilliant women show up for themselves, but they don’t always put themselves at the center of their lives. Even with their mistakes and missteps, they honor their past selves and make room for the parts of themselves yet to come. Once they stop chasing and start attracting, brilliant women tell the universe that they’re releasing what no longer serves them.
“Letting go is about creating space for new relationships, experiences, and opportunities that align with your current values and goals,” Beyond Healing Counseling revealed. “When we release what no longer serves us, we allow ourselves to heal and transform, opening the door to a brighter and more fulfilling future.”
“This transformation doesn’t mean forgetting or dismissing the past but rather honoring it for what it taught us and moving forward with intention,” they continued.
It’s normal to feel resistance around releasing what no longer serves us. This tension is a sign of self-awareness. It shows we know which path to follow, even if we aren’t ready to move. There’s no rush to get to the other side. We’re not on anyone else’s timeline for transformation.
Beyond Healing Counseling shared that the process of letting go starts with acceptance, and acceptance starts with feeling the weight of what we’re doing.
“Acceptance is about honoring the impact of what you’re letting go of while recognizing that it’s time to move forward,” they explained. “By embracing acceptance, you allow yourself to release the resistance that keeps you tied to something that no longer serves you.”
Letting go of harmful patterns is a form of emotional labor with no distinct endpoint. Brilliant women stay committed to the process, and as they do, they start attracting the life they’ve always deserved.
2. ‘I’m done convincing people of my worth’
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Once brilliant women stop chasing and start attracting, they declare that they’re done convincing people of their innate worth. They fell into the trap of seeking external validation when they were younger. They thought that outside approval and affection proved their worthiness. They pursued people who didn’t see them, and they felt that was enough.
They settled, but they didn’t stay there for long. They realized how exhausting it was to convince other people of their worth, so they stopped trying. They discovered that true self-worth comes from themselves and no one else.
“Unconditional self-worth is distinct from our abilities and accomplishments,” Psychologist Aida Gooden
said. “It’s not about comparing ourselves to others… Unconditional self-worth is the sense that you deserve to be alive and cared for, to take up space.”
She explained that “cultivating unconditional self-worth is an ongoing practice” rooted in forgiveness and acceptance.
“First, forgive yourself,” she said. “Many of us struggle to feel worthy because we are angry with ourselves for past mistakes. Forgiveness involves acknowledging and accepting what has happened. Acceptance releases us from blaming ourselves and others and allows us to move forward.”
“Through this acceptance, you are acknowledging that you are worthy, just the way you are,” she said. “It takes courage to free yourself from the conditions you’ve placed on your worth… This journey is beautiful and worth taking.”
3. ‘Patience brings peace’
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Brilliant women who stop chasing and start attracting say that patience brings peace, but it’s more than a phrase, it’s a way of life. According to Michelle Schmidt, the founder of Peaceful Mind, Peaceful Life, channeling patience lets us live in the present, which brings peace of mind.
“When we break down the root of impatience, we find that it’s when we are not trusting that things will work out okay,” she explained. “When you get into the trusting mindset, that things really will unfold as they are meant to, you can relax knowing that you are being taken care of; you are supported.”
“We have learned with the speed of society to be discontent with stillness,” Schmidt continued. “When we add moments of stopping [and] stillness throughout the day, [we] will find [our] sense of inner peace, strength, and acceptance.”
She shared that “living patiently is a practice,” allowing us to dive deep and notice who we are.
4. ‘I trust myself’
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Brilliant women know how to block out all the unnecessary noise and listen to their intuition. They understand their own motivation and trust the choices they make. They know that their lives are moving in the direction that’s meant for them. They stop chasing the wrong things and start attracting what they really want.
“An absence of self-trust is often a sign of low self-esteem,” Relationship coach Lisa Lieberman-Wang revealed. “If you don’t like yourself, chances are your opinions aren’t going to matter to you. And if you don’t trust yourself, you won’t take action on your behalf or in the direction of your dreams.”
An absence of self-trust often leads to self-neglect. If you don’t believe you’re worth caring for, you won’t tend to your needs. You’ll lose sight of what makes you feel whole: Resting when you’re tired, moving your body, nourishing your hunger.
“It's human nature to take care of what we love and to overlook that which we don’t,” Lieberman-Wang shared. “Your patterns of self-care are all a reflection of your self-esteem.”
Even the most minor acts can bring you back to yourself. Once brilliant women stop chasing and start attracting, they gain the mental and emotional space to listen to themselves and honor what they need.
5. ‘I won’t stay small for other people’s comfort’
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Taking up space without apologizing is the most profound lesson brilliant women learn. Once they stop chasing and start attracting, they realize how much of their energy went into making other people feel comfortable. They forced themselves into boxes that never fit them to begin with. They refuse to waste any more time making themselves small.
Brilliant women know that they only exist for themselves. It doesn't matter if another person thinks they’re too loud, too fat, too old, too much. Brilliant women don’t accept that judgment, and they don’t define themselves by it. They don’t need anyone’s approval to exist, evolve, or shine.
6. ‘I’m not the right person for everyone and that’s okay’
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Brilliant women aren’t just born, they’re made by their design. After all the years they spent chasing after romances that weren't right for them, they discovered an essential human truth: We can’t force someone to love us, no matter how hard we try.
Brilliant women recognize that they won’t be liked or desired by everyone and are okay with that fact. They don’t need to win everyone’s heart; they must be true to themselves. When brilliant women stop chasing and start attracting, the love they have for themselves becomes their guiding light.
7. ‘I won’t abandon myself for anyone else’
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Even brilliant women lose their way in the world. They abandon themselves for other people, making decisions that don’t align with their core sense of self. Once they stop chasing and start attracting, they can return to themselves.
According to Relationship coach Jordan Gray, “making life choices that are in direct opposition to your personal values” leads you to abandon who you are and who you want to be.
“You erode self-trust when you regularly practice self-abandonment,” he revealed. By “chronically going against yourself,” you absorb the unconscious message that you’re not worthy of your care or compassion. You act out in ways that hurt you, hoping that someone else will love you the way you want to love yourself.
“Self-trust is reclaimed by rekindling our relationship to ourselves, and treating ourselves as we would our most cherished friend or loved one,” Gray concluded.
8. ‘I’m building the life I want’
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Once they stop chasing and start attracting, brilliant women realize that they’re in charge of their future. They discover they’ve always had access to the tools they need to build the life they want; they were just too distracted to notice.
On YourTango’s “Getting Open” podcast, Manifesting Queen Roxie Nafousi shared how her journey to true self-acceptance opened up a universe of possibilities.
“I felt like an outsider very early on,” she said. “I recognize now that what I was doing was completely rejecting who I was. Then, I discovered manifestation and realized that manifesting is about self-worth.”
“I had no self-worth,” she said. “So I think in that moment, I took responsibility and I stopped playing the victim and I realized that I had the power to keep myself stuck and I had the power to get myself out of it.
“We manifest what we believe we are worthy of perceiving,” Nafousi said.
Brilliant women don’t wait for permission to exist. Their best lives are constantly unfolding; all they have to do is own what’s coming their way.
9. ‘The right ones won’t run away’
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Wanting to love and be loved are deep human needs that drive the way we act and interact. On the surface, it seems easier to settle than to wait for the right kind of love. It seems easier to compromise what you want than to be alone.
According to YourTango experts Katie and Gay Hendricks, “If you don't have the love you want in your life, it's usually because you are not loving or facing a part of you.”
“When we don't love ourselves deeply, we always look for someone else to do it for us, hoping the unloved part of us will just go away,” they shared. “We still attract partners, not just not the right ones.”
“When you love and accept yourself deeply and unconditionally for all you are and aren't, you attract people who love themselves,” they continued. “That's where the magic begins, and relationships become partnerships on the path to love.”
“This lesson in self-love is a life-long lesson,” they concluded. “We need to continue to learn it and re-learn it. Self-love is a daily practice because it always releases deeper and deeper opportunities for self-acceptance within us.”
The moment that brilliant women stop chasing and start attracting, they become available for themselves, and their whole world opens up in ways they never imagined. Showing up authentically is the greatest gift they’ll ever receive. Brilliant women know real love is a reflection, and it only appears when they first love themselves.
10. ‘What I seek is also seeking me’
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Once brilliant women realize that an abundant life is their birthright, they stop chasing and start attracting. They have a heightened awareness of how much they deserve. They move through the world with a sense of calm. Their fortune can’t be forced into existence. They have to attract it.
According to Consultant and coach Trent Rhodes, being spiritually aligned raises your vibration. Your consciousness expands, and you find your most authentic form. As your vibrations rise, “you reach this level where your awareness explodes with a deep understanding of the world and yourself.”
“You literally radiate more light that brings people and opportunities to you,” he explained. This experience of “increased synchronicity” is a revelation. It reinforces a truth you already know: What you seek is also seeking you.
“Your rise gives you awareness of the webs in your life, how your actions and thoughts lead to manifestations, how people end up in your life at just the right time, and how you might see the right message at the time you need it,” Rhodes shared.
“Listen to that divine light,” he advised. “Go where it guides you.”
11. ‘I’m ready’
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Brilliant women recognize that their lives are made up of seasons. Some seasons are lush and bountiful, while others are barren. In quieter moments, brilliant women turn inward and focus on healing. They set intentions, dream of an unfolding future, and remain grateful for what they have already.
Once brilliant women stop chasing the unattainable, they start attracting what they need. By the time their harvest arrives, brilliant women have only one thing left to say: I’m ready.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.
