7 Tiny Habits Of The Most Effortlessly Confident People
I found comfort and confidence in my independent lifestyle —and you can, too.
insta_photos | Canva I’ve spent most of my life abroad. I am continually on the move, living in a new country by myself every few months. I am at ease as an ‘outsider,’ and there is much I have internalized about the independent, confident life.
Here are the 7 tiny habits of the most effortlessly confident people:
1. They're okay in their own company
I spend a lot of time alone and yet don’t think I can remember a time when I felt truly lonely. I have nurtured a comfort in going out alone and being in my own company. Independence requires this because when you can be okay alone, you have options and your actions are not dependent on others. You’re also much less susceptible to taking on external opinions that are not your own. Many couldn’t live a few minutes without being close to one another, and that’s fine, but they can’t ever be truly independent.
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2. They ensure they're dependable
This may seem counterintuitive, but those who have the most freedom and flexibility are needed by people. For example, if you provide a useful skill that not many others can emulate, you become indispensable. Being needed gives you power in the form of choice. You will have clients and customers and the freedom to choose your clients. This is independence.
3. They're conscious of staying footloose
Those who have little intention of maintaining their independence are oblivious to certain vines wrapping around them. These come in the form of location-dependent employment, the urge to ‘settle,’ fit in, and a longing for the status quo. Independent people are conscious of the need to remain untethered and are ruthless in saying no to influences that disrupt this reality.
4. They do not need external validation
Truly independent people know that the only validation they need comes from within. Their self-esteem is not dependent on praise from — or proximity to — other people. Because of this, they walk with a lightness in their step and a cool, relaxed detachment from things being a ‘certain way’ in their social reality.
5. They prioritize self-reliance
You can’t be truly free if you are reliant on (too much) support from other people or bodies. No one can truly operate as a detached island; we need community and social connections and agreements to varying degrees. But the independent soul is continually working on a framework they own — like a remote income stream — that ensures they thrive whether they have the outside support they need, or if those channels fizzle out.
6. They don’t interfere with other people's lives
Independence is not felt when other people try to interfere with our lives. So self-sufficient people know that not interfering in anyone else’s life ensures they too are left alone when needed. Live and let live, and this karma will be returned.
7. They're masters of change
Stuck people tend to get sentimental about how things used to be. They fight change, putting most of their energy into this resistance. Independent people accept how things are, and continually adapt to a changing world. If things go south, big woop — time to move on. Your flexibility must be both logistical and psychological. Welcome continual change, and you have an upper hand over 99% of people. Seize your advantage.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.