3 Tools To Help You Trust Yourself Again, According To A Happiness Philosopher
Prioritizing a relationship with yourself starts with building trust.
fizkes | Shutterstock From making food choices to navigating heartbreak, having a trusting and honest relationship with ourselves is fundamental to our health and well-being, but it’s far from easy. Many of us unwittingly fail to trust ourselves, even in the most mundane moments of our lives.
“It’s something that many of us should’ve been taught when we were children,” self-proclaimed “happiness philosopher” Stephanie Harrison argued on TikTok. Despite its importance in our daily lives, many of us have simply neglected it — making self-confidence, wellness, and relationship stability difficult.
Here are the 3 tools you need to trust yourself again, according to a ‘happiness philosopher’:
1. Prioritize ‘keeping’ any promises you make to yourself
Whether it’s failing to form a new workout routine like we swore we would or continuing things with a situationship that we know is bad for us, we often break our own promises. How can you trust someone who consistently breaks their word?
“If you struggle with [breaking your own promises], you need to make smaller promises that are more achievable,” Harrison advised. “Some of us have a habit of overcommitting, even to ourselves.”
It’s impossible to maintain a healthy mindset while simultaneously changing every single routine, relationship, and habit you’ve ever created. “Instead of saying, ‘I’m going to go do a 60-minute workout today,’ say, ‘I’m going to do a walk around the block and see how I feel.’”
Re-evaluate the accessibility and plausibility of your self-made promises, do the ones you can, and then take a moment to pause and celebrate yourself. Whether it’s a sweet treat at night or a simple moment of silence to express gratitude, you need to celebrate yourself for succeeding.
2. Acknowledge your feelings
While it might seem easy, truly acknowledging how we feel, what our bodies are signaling to us, and the emotions we’re experiencing can be incredibly difficult — especially amidst the chaos of life. However, the more we push them away and bury them deep inside of ourselves, the more we invalidate them.
“Are you feeling angry? Don’t push it away. Feeling sad? Let yourself cry. This is a great place to use journaling…Take a few minutes every day to write down your experiences and how they made you feel.”
Jacob Lund | Shutterstock.com
Instead of creating a hostile space where your emotions are viewed as negative, create a safe environment for them to arise and be acknowledged. Trust stems from communication — even if that means with yourself, your inner monologue, or your journal at the end of a rough day.
3. Identify your values and live by them.
"We’ve unconsciously adopted our societal or cultural values or those of our parents,” Harrison explained, instead of learning and prioritizing our own. Dig deep and learn what your true values are.
When you’re struggling through a rough patch or navigating a big decision, think back to your values and use them to guide you. “Say, ‘Which choice will help me to embody my values?’ You are worthy of trusting yourself.”
Learning to trust yourself won't happen overnight. Get to know yourself, spend time doing things you genuinely enjoy, and give yourself the freedom of authenticity with no toxic and constructive boundaries.
You deserve to trust yourself, as Harrison openly explained, regardless of what you’ve been taught by society and toxic inner monologues.
Prioritize yourself and what you enjoy and the rest will follow.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.