8 Incredible Ways To Bond With Your Highly Sensitive Wife
Encourage your wife to be her best self with you.
Tais Bernabe | Canva Many women I work with are highly sensitive, and I am myself. We are 20% of people but most people in therapy — and likely an even higher percentage of therapists! If your wife is an HSP, here are eight nonsexual ways to bond with her, so that she can be her best self with you!
Here are 8 incredible ways to bond with your highly sensitive wife:
1. Read a book together
Reading is a quiet activity and can be done together in bed, especially when your wife is overstimulated or tired. (In case it isn’t obvious, use separate physical books or devices even if it’s the same book, as you go at different paces.) If you are reading the same book, then you can discuss it as you go (don’t interrupt the reading constantly, but when you are done reading each time). If you are reading different books, you can share what you’re learning with each other. Most HSPs love reading, and this is a great way to bond quietly.
2. Nonsexual physical touch
Cuddling is very important and is on the same spectrum as foreplay for many HSP women. If you are someone that your wife finds to be a source of physical comfort and reassurance, then she will feel close and connected to you in all ways (including sexual). However, if you make all touch turn into sex, most HSP women will opt out of touch entirely.
3. Watch TV together
Watching and discussing shows is a low energy high emotional impact way to bond for many women, especially HSP women who analyze every interaction in the show.
4. Take tests together
HSP women love to analyze their personalities and relationships. Taking personality tests or even the erotic blueprint quiz can be lots of fun and make her feel very close to you. Just the idea that you are open to feedback about yourself is very reassuring for an HSP woman, who loves to think deeply about both of your personalities and how they mesh.
5. Be romantic
Use everything I say in this post devoted to operationalizing "romance" for guys who are less than romantic naturally! When guys say, “What does romance even mean?” the translation is “I was raised in a home without romance and therefore it is not a natural thing I do.” Therefore, you can learn what it means to (many) women and execute!
6. Plan vacations or other events
Even if you don’t have a huge budget, you can look up fun date night locations or cute family events (google “family activities near me”). Many women LOVE planning. When you plan together, she feels close and connected.
7. Take a walk together
Many HSP women know they need to exercise more but are too tired to do anything huge. Therefore, many of them take walks, with or without the dog, stroller, or kids. Join her for these if she wants, and that can be a great time to talk and bond.
8. Discuss your friends and family.
So many HSP women feel separate from other people in their husbands’ lives because the husband doesn’t talk about what those relationships are like. If a man goes out drinking with Jim and Bob and he comes home with interesting observations, then she is going to feel much closer to him as well as supportive of these relationships. These don’t have to be “bad” or “gossipy” observations. For example, “It seems like Bob is getting tired of his job and he and Sally are considering moving to live near their kids in a few years, would you ever want to do that?” can spark an interesting discussion between you and your wife.
Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten, aka Dr. Psych Mom, is a clinical psychologist in private practice and the founder of DrPsychMom. She works with adults and couples in her group practice Best Life Behavioral Health.