10 Quiet Signs A Man Really Loves You, According To Psychology
Most men show love without saying anything.
AaronAmat | Canva I am very expressive verbally. Being a “physical touch and words of affirmation” person of the five love languages, there is never any concern about how I feel in a relationship. But, I frequently hear how so many people (typically men) are not as expressive, which leaves some questions and sometimes concerns going unanswered.
The fact of the matter is that a lot of men communicate their feelings in more non-verbal ways (opening doors, pulling out chairs, covering the bill, carrying things for you), but as we learn through the love languages as well, if we don’t recognize these actions as signs of love, we will see a lack of love in its place, even if the person is trying to show us that they care.
To close the communication gap between non-verbal men and the women they care about, here's how men show love without saying anything.
Here are 10 quiet signs a man really loves you, according to psychology:
1. He brings you around his friends
Or family. Or whoever is closest to him. When a man starts to make you part of the important things in his life, it is a good sign he is serious about you, as supported by a study from Social Indicators Research. He wants others to experience the happiness you bring to his life (and maybe show you off a little bit — in a good way because he is proud to be with you).
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2. He stays close to you physically
It could be keeping his arm around you, hugging you randomly, or cuddling up on the couch — a man who truly cares and enjoys your company will always want to be close to you. Physical contact, even when innocent, sends non-verbal messages worth paying attention to, as shown in research by the Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin.
3. He listens to you
One of the major things men often get accused of is being terrible listeners. Whether we don’t remember that it was your friend’s birthday this weekend or which scented candle was your favorite one at the store — the small details matter most.
The International Journal of Listening explains how a man who cares for you will listen intently and do his best to absorb all of the details he can. It is his way of showing you that he values you and what you have to say.
4. He doesn’t care what you do as long as you’re together
Oh, you have to go grocery shopping today or go out and get things for your party this weekend? Count him in. For the man who wants to spend as much time with you as he can, it’s not just going to be on date night or when you are intimate.
A meaningful relationship is just as much about sharing everyday things as it is about exciting things, as suggested by a study from the Public Library of Science.
5. He mirrors your behavior and body language
While some of us recognize this as an effective form of communication, as well as a method to make someone more comfortable around us, many people will become so in tune with the person they are with that they subconsciously start duplicating gestures, positions, or postures.
Research reviewed by the American Psychological Association shows that If he touches your arm after you touch his, uncrosses his legs after you uncross yours, or leans into you during a conversation after you lean into him, he is showing love and paying close attention to you, whether he realizes it or not.
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6. He puts thought into the gifts he gives you
While special occasions are not the only time that a man (or woman) should do something special for you, they are more traditional in the opportunity to slow our lives down and show somebody how much we appreciate them.
Whether it is a gift you have wanted or an experience you have desired to partake in, a man who cares about you will not just pick up a stuffed animal and some flowers at the store, he will do something special that is specifically for you, as demonstrated by a study from Cambridge University.
7. He compromises
No great relationship was ever built on the foundation of “what’s in it for me?” A man who is playing the field will have no reason to sacrifice his self-interest for somebody unless he feels something deeper for them.
A study from the City University of New York helps explain that when we begin to develop a love for someone, we want to see them happy, even if that means putting our self-interests aside for the sake of theirs. Her happiness becomes our happiness. This is not to say he will become a doormat — there is a big difference between compromise and sacrifice. It goes both ways.
8. He will go pick up your dry-cleaning
Or whatever it is that you don’t have time to do yourself. He will put in the effort to help you out to make your life easier, just because. A man who is not serious about you will not be around often enough, nor willing enough, to do these things, as explored in research from the American Psychological Association.
9. He asks for your advice
If a man asks you for your advice on a decision he is trying to make or a situation that he is in, it means he values your opinion enough to take you seriously and use it as a guiding light in his life. A report in the Harvard Gazette suggests if a man values your thoughts, it means he values you.
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10. He always makes you feel safe
Men are naturally protective. Millions of years of biological evolution have brought us to the point where we naturally want to protect those we love, whether they need it or not. It could mean protecting you from getting hurt emotionally or physically.
A man who loves and cares for you will make you feel safe, as suggested in a comparison of studies in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. He will never make you question whether or not he will be there for you in a time of need. He will stand by your side, in front of you, and behind you when he must. He will be your teammate through life.
A man who loves you will make you feel it in his ways. When he cares, you will know it. If he doesn’t, you will be wondering all the time if he does.
James Michael Sama is an internationally recognized speaker, author, and personal development coach. He has become a go-to expert with outlets such as CNN, Bravo, The New York Post, The Huffington Post, The Daily Beast, CNBC, The Boston Globe, CBS, and more.