The Happiest Relationship Of Your Life Will Be With A Partner Who Makes You Feel These 7 Things, According To Psychology
They help you see who you are and accept your power.
stockfour | Canva How do you know when you're in love and finally in a healthy and solid relationship? Everyone wants to believe the relationship they're in is built to last, and they've found their person.
Unfortunately, we often fool ourselves into thinking a relationship should feel awesome all of the time. Then we are disappointed when it ends in heartbreak. But there are certain things you'll feel when you're with the right person to make you stop questioning and show you have finally found the happiest relationship ever.
Here are 7 things you feel in the happiest relationship of your life, according to psychology:
1. You feel like yourself
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Be honest. How many times have you twisted yourself into a pretzel in a relationship, trying to be someone you aren’t? How many times have you not been yourself so someone will love you?
When you finally find a solid relationship, you will no longer have to be anything other than the person you are. Why? Because when you're in a solid relationship, your person will love you exactly the way you are.
Be all that you are — impatient, kind, caring, a lover of animals, or someone who enjoys work. Your partner, no matter how different they are, loves you for exactly who you are, warts and all.
So, if you feel like yourself in your relationship, it most likely is a solid one. A study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found "strong associations between perceived partner authenticity, relationship goals, interpersonal trust, and relationship outcomes."
2. You feel confident
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When you're used to a certain level of communication with your partner throughout the day, on days when texting is limited, you may become upset. You might believe that if you don't hear from your partner, they no longer like you, even though you woke up together.
It may cause you to feel needy and unloved. You might even make up stories in your head about how you're not worthy. But, at the same time, you don't bring it up to your partner because you don’t want to seem needy.
However, if you're in a solid relationship with "the one," you won’t ever feel that way. You won’t feel you are less than if you don’t hear from your person for a few hours. And you won’t ever feel needy when you ask for what you want, because you deserve it.
3. You feel secure
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Did you wake up this morning feeling good? Did you kiss your partner as you headed out the door, happy and not worried about your relationship? Was your mind free to focus on what was in front of you instead of obsessing about something he or she said last night?
Someone who's in a solid relationship feels settled. Instead of always being on edge because they're unsure if things are good, a person in a solid relationship feels safe and secure in it, as explained in 2021 research on attachment as a unit of resilience.
While there might be occasional disagreements, they know their person is there and they have their back. They have the confidence to feel good about their relationship and focus on other things.
4. You feel powerful
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In a strong relationship built to last, you feel powerful, like you can take on the world, nothing will get in the way if you don’t let it. Why? It's because your partner supports you 100%, tells you over and over, and shows you too, by giving you the freedom to pursue your passions.
In your past relationships, this may not have happened. You may have been in relationships with someone who made you feel unsteady, up and down, and where you weren’t always sure of your place in it.
In those cases, you didn't believe in yourself to the extent you wanted to. While your life was good enough, you weren’t living up to your true potential. But with a solid relationship, you rise above those thoughts of the past.
You're strong enough to live up to your true potential on your own, despite not previously knowing it. And being in a solid relationship can help you see who you are and allow you to accept your power.
5. You feel hopeful
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Do you struggle every day with feelings of hopelessness? Do you look ahead to the next hour, day, week, month, or even year with dread? Do you dread the weekend because you aren’t sure if you're going to see your partner?
Do you dread Christmas because your partner doesn’t like your family? Do you worry if you will be able to talk him into having kids? Do you worry this relationship won’t work out, and you will never love or be loved again? If you feel this way, you aren’t in a solid relationship, unfortunately.
Someone in a solid, healthy relationship is someone who looks forward with hope and knows the weekend will be amazing, even if you're just staying home. A 2022 study explored how "relational hope encompasses three facets: the wills, the ways, and the wishes people have in their relationship."
You're on the same page as your partner about the future, and it feels good! You know, no matter what, your relationship will prevail.
6. You feel lucky
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There are plenty of people who are in unhappy relationships. They're single and miserable, or are a couple and miserable. They feel hopeless that they will ever find someone. Or they're devastated they've been cheated on. Every story is so sad and yet so familiar.
For people who have been in toxic relationships, they've been ignored, treated with contempt, cheated on, abused, and lost themselves in obsession. But when you've found a healthy relationship with "the one," you're no longer any of those things.
You thank your lucky stars you found your partner. Of course, they may drive you nuts some days, but you still take a moment to think about how lucky you are to be with someone so wonderful.
If you really and truly feel lucky to be with your person, you're in a very good relationship.
7. You feel happy
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This one seems so obvious, but it's worth stating. If you aren’t happy in a relationship, it’s not a solid one, and they aren't meant to be with you.
How can you not be happy if you can’t be yourself? Your relationship builds your self-esteem and makes you feel powerful, as shown by a 2024 study on self-esteem as a function of relationship quality. When you feel safe, you look to the future with hope.
Of course, every day isn’t a bed of roses, but if the overarching feeling in your life is happiness, you're in a solid relationship that should stand the test of time.
It's important to be honest with yourself about the state of your relationship. It's easy to ignore the red flags, justify behaviors, and make excuses to keep your relationship intact. But you'll only be wasting your time, hoping your relationship can grow into something it’s not.
Mitzi Bockmann is an NYC-based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate who works exclusively with women to help them be all they want to be. Mitzi's bylines have appeared in The Good Men Project, MSN, PopSugar, Prevention, Huffington Post, and Psych Central, among many others.
