6 Green Flags You're Dealing With An Emotionally Normal Man, According To Psychology
This man is one of the good ones.
Natalia Blauth | Unsplash If you look online, the picture you’ll get of modern men is not happy. Men are lonelier than ever before, and male deaths of despair are higher than they’ve ever been. Unfortunately, that’s not the end of men’s problems, especially not when it comes to women. In the past, being emotionally unwell usually would be overlooked. These days? Not so much. It’s too much of a risk, and women are no longer willing to be rehab centers for men.
Women generally do not want to date a man who’s emotionally unhealthy. This is primarily because dating when you’re emotionally messed up decreases your ability to be a decent partner. There is also a higher risk of abuse that comes with it. An emotionally healthy man is a good partner, friend, and business colleague. He’s also the type of guy that women truly dream about. But, how can you tell if you are that dude? Let’s talk about what emotionally healthy men never do and what makes it a sign of someone’s emotional health.
Here are 6 signs you're dealing with an emotionally normal man, according to psychology:
1. He never stops taking care of himself
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An emotionally healthy man makes a point of hitting the gym (or at least walking). He also works on his career, talks to his friends, brushes his teeth, and cleans his home.
He’ll do it all on his own. He might even be in a support group or have a therapist.
An emotionally unwell person will often stop caring for themselves, especially when it comes to their appearance, their home, or their mental well-being. Or worse, they may try to foist the responsibility of their wellness onto people around them.
2. He doesn't spend hours hate-scrolling, hurting others, or making hateful remarks online
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Reddit is a cesspit of emotionally unwell and potentially dangerous men. Do you know how I can tell? They go out of their way to post hateful content towards women online or try to disparage women from talking about legitimate concerns they have.
A man whose hate goes unchecked to the point that he can’t hold it in is not an emotionally healthy man. A man who actively feeds the hate in his heart is not healthy in any capacity. A man who is threatened by women having equal rights to them is not emotionally well.
If you’re emotionally healthy, inviting others to "sit at the table" with you will not make you feel angry or threatened. An emotionally well man believes in equal rights and consent simply because he knows that he’s not losing anything by having more equals.
They don’t resent women who don’t show interest in them. They understand that rejection doesn’t always mean something personal. Sometimes it’s just not the right time or something doesn’t click.
Emotionally healthy people have empathy. If you are too hateful, you lack empathy for others. This is one of the main reasons why women want an emotionally healthy man.
Emotionally healthy men in relationships demonstrate strong emotional intelligence, cultivate supportive connections, and prioritize their partner's well-being. Research suggests that having a supportive and emotionally healthy partner can improve both partners' mental health and well-being.
3. He refuses to chase after someone who rejects him
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Have you ever seen a person who doesn’t respect those who treat them well but will do anything for people who reject them? This is not the behavior of an emotionally healthy person.
While this can be chalked up to trauma bonds and more, the truth is that it’s something that tends to stop the healthier you get. (Go ahead, ask me how I know this. I was this person!)
When you’re emotionally healthy, you may still feel hurt and rejected. However, you tend to take a hint and not try hard to impress people who don’t care about you. You start going, "Okay, these guys are jerks. I’m out."
4. He won't lash out in anger or overreact
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Part of what makes emotionally healthy men so attractive is the fact that women don’t feel like they’re ticking time bombs. When you’re emotionally unhealthy, you’re prone to overreacting.
Those guys who flip out when a girl doesn’t answer in a timely manner, stalk women who haven’t replied, or freak out when someone cuts them off in traffic are not emotionally well. This is the kind of unhealthy behavior that truly scares people and repels them permanently.
If this sounds like you, it’s best to confront that rage you feel. This is a struggle that only you can face — and while it’s not easy, it will help you.
Emotionally healthy men, as partners, are better at managing anger, communicating needs, and resolving conflicts constructively, avoiding lashing out. A 2022 study concluded that they demonstrate emotional regulation, empathy, and a willingness to engage in healthy relationship dynamics.
5. He never mentions how successful, wealthy, and "top tier" he is
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Okay, so I used to do this often, especially when I was being hurt by people I had to deal with. I know how tempting it is to be like, "YO! I AM SO COOL! LOOK AT THIS! I AM SO HAPPY!"
I also know that when you finally surpass a certain income level or achieve a certain goal (such as acceptance), you want to tell everyone about it. You may not stop talking about it for months or years.
So this phenomenon is not 100 percent accurate, but it’s still like 90 percent accurate. For most people, there is a lot of truth to this proverb: "Any man who must say 'I am king' is no true king."
This means that the loudest person in the room is usually faking it. They often are the precise opposite of what they claim to be, and more importantly, they know it — either consciously or unconsciously.
People who mention they are "the top percent" of dates are generally not good. The same can be said of people who flash tons of cash or sleep with everything nearby. This is overcompensation, and something is seriously bothering them underneath all that gloating.
6. He's accountable and won't push his personal responsibilities off on others
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An emotionally healthy man will own up to their bad behavior. This is also true for all other genders.
Why? Because they realize when they messed up and recognize that it’s up to them to fix things.
Taking responsibility for your actions is very powerful, especially when it means working on becoming a better person. It actively contributes to your emotional well-being and confidence.
Most men who are emotionally unwell will blame anyone but themselves for their misfortunes. For example:
- "Women only date the top 20 percent of men. Women had better lower their standards. It’s not fair! I was born ugly and that’s why they hate me!"
- "If that stupid secretary hadn’t told her boss I was creepy, I would have gotten the job."
- "That jock Chad took my job! He just got that engineering job because he’s a Chad!"
A victim mentality is a great way to rot your soul. Don’t be that dude. It’s up to us to try to do better and be better. You won't be emotionally healthy soon if you’re not making an effort.
Researchers at the Gottman Institute explain that emotionally healthy partners demonstrate accountability and self-reliance, avoid transferring personal responsibilities to others, and foster trust and healthy relationships. Emotionally healthy individuals prioritize their well-being and engage in self-care activities, which allows them to be better equipped to manage their responsibilities and support their partner.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.