6 Classic Gen-X Values That Have Tragically Disappeared From Modern Marriages
Younger generations sadly don't appreciate these marital values anymore.
Syda Productions | Canva As a pivot generation between the traditions carried on by the Boomers and the new social dynamics crafted by the Millennials and Gen-Z, Gen-X made some necessary changes while also preserving some traditions in their marriages.
Once called the forgotten generation, Gen-X had to craft its unique way of building a marriage from a collection of borrowed tools and self-written plans, but some of these classic Gen-X values have sadly been forgotten in today's marriages.
Here are classic Gen-X values that have sadly disappeared from modern-day marriages:
1. Gen-X knew how to be okay being alone
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Family therapist and member of Gen-X, Mitzi Bockmann, knows first-hand how "Gen-Xers often came home to an empty house. Our parents were working, and we were on our own. Because we did have to spend so much time solo as kids, we are not only OK with being alone but sometimes even relish it."
Bockmann continues, "It is this trait, this knowledge that it’s okay to be alone, that can make a Gen-Xer great in a relationship. These days, it’s very hard for people to be alone. With social media, we feel like we are always connected. When we find ourselves alone, it can be very uncomfortable.
"But Gen-Xers, who not only didn’t have their parents around but also had no social media, are comfortable with being alone. This means a relationship is not a necessity. And it also allows partners to live their own lives outside of the relationship. Embracing this in your relationship will only make it stronger."
2. Gen-X understood the value of work-life balance
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Entertainment and human interest writer Marielisa Reyes found that in researching generational differences, "work-life balance is a Gen-X value that people in younger generations seem to have lost. Yet, this isn't necessarily their fault.
2023 research revealed that Gen-Z workers between the ages of 18 and 24 worked eight-and-a-half hours of unpaid overtime every week, including the weekends, and "additionally, Cigna found that the younger generations are stressed about finances, with 39% of Gen-Z and 34% of Millennials expressing that money is their leading cause of stress, compared to 29% of 50 through 64-year-olds and 21% of those older than 65."
Younger generations must take a page out of Gen-X's book and put their foot down. Refusing to answer emails or messages after hours is a great place to start."
3. Gen-X understood the value of eating together at a table
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"While they might splurge from time to time on a restaurant or a fast food endeavor, Gen-Xers are much more likely to eat at home compared to other generations, according to a 2023 survey conducted by the Institute of Food Technologists.
With the importance of family traditions, wholesomeness, connection, and affordability, there’s more than one benefit for other generations who pick up on this habit," explains human-interest writer Zayda Slabbekoorn.
Slabbekoorn adds, "Some people suggest that other generations looking to adopt this Gen-X habit can save more than $1500 a year simply by cutting out one fast food meal a week — especially for households with four or more people."
4. Gen-X kept the TV out of the bedroom
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Gen-X married person and social media director Mary Rindlesbach explains, "Gen Xers are more likely to not have a television in the bedroom. It's a place to sleep and a sanctuary.
Sure, sometimes we stare at our phones while sitting in bed next to our partners, but we are not about to fall asleep to Netflix asking, 'Are you still watching?' We connect with our partners to communicate and talk with each other when our days come to an end."
5. Gen-X was frugal
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"Gen-X is frugal," continues Rindlesbach. "We grew up before social media and influencers, so we're less likely to want or need the latest and greatest. Almost all of my furniture is hand-me-down or secondhand, and my husband and I are totally fine with that — and we're in our 40s.
"We are okay saying no to our kids when they ask for the latest and greatest (and most expensive) because they don't need it! We'd rather save for the future than indulge now, except maybe spring for a nice vacation because we respect work-life balance.
We also have the benefit of less college debt and entering the workforce before 2008, so we are in a more financially stable place than many in the younger generations, we are more able to save.
Our wedding wasn't a big, splashy event that cost tens of thousands of dollars (according to Zola, the average cost of a wedding in 2024 was around $33,000.) The whole thing was under $10k, and we just chatted the other day about if we could go back, we'd do something even smaller and more intimate and meaningful. There's nothing wrong with the courthouse and a pizza/karaoke party in the backyard."
6. Gen-X knew the words 'always' and 'faithful' actually meant something
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Aria Gmitter, senior editor and Gen-Xer, suggests, "Gen-X may have been the last generation whose vision of the future believed in the idea of romantic love leading to life-long marriage with a single forever partner. From our romantic ballads like Atlantic Star's 'Always' to pop songs like 'Faithfully' by Journey, the dream was to find your soulmate and walk into the sunset holding hands.
"Feeling slightly jealous was perceived as natural and even romantic. It meant you had passionate feelings for your significant other. You would enter marriage starry-eyed with full trust, opening up mutual bank accounts and sharing life beyond walk-in closets. Love was wealth, and it didn't matter what you faced in life since the future was considered bright because of your partner."
Today, we see a different view of marriage, where loyalty has been replaced with 'Does this relationship serve me?' mentally.
A 2020 study explores how open partnerships are considered the new loyalty and action of trust. Jealousy is negative and considered controlling, and people prefer to share meals over anything that is considered boundary crossing. It's a whole new world out for younger generations and very different from what I grew up believing marriage ought to be.
Gen-X, once forgotten, holds the ground between the useful traditions of the Boomers and the necessary social changes of Millennials and younger generations. In this way, Gen-X is both the keeper of the flame and the blazer of new trails.
Will Curtis is a creator, editor, and activist who has spent the last decade working remotely.