9 Simple Compliments Men Wish Their Wives & Girlfriends Would Give More Often, According To Psychology
How to boost his ego in a loving way.
Curated Lifestyle | Unsplash Women are regularly shot with self-esteem-boosting arrows from men in the form of compliments, from the street whistler to the rando at the bar to the sincere guy we're dating. Everywhere we turn, somebody seems to think we've got it goin' on.
However, aside from the mouths of their mamas, men rarely receive a sweet sentiment from a beautiful woman. So a girl who can fire off a meaningful compliment will separate herself from the pack of others, too self-absorbed to realize guys need loving, too. Here are some warm fuzzies guaranteed to heat him up. And who knows — you may even get a compliment in return.
Here are nine simple compliments men wish their wives and girlfriends would give more often:
1. "You're so good at (fill in the blank)."
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Compliment your man on his talents whether it's in the kitchen, in the bedroom, in the gym, or in the garage. A guy wants to hear how good he is at the skills he works hard to perfect.
Relationship coach Jordan Gray is passionate about his belief that "most men were more likely than not raised in a way where they were fairly compliment-starved." While acknowledging all acts of service, you'll surprise him by praising any "effort you see him deploying in any area of his life."
Gray continued, "Think about it. It’s easy to imagine a woman complimenting another woman. It’s also easy to imagine a man complimenting a woman. But when we do an honest audit of the TV and movies we consume and of the day-to-day interactions that we witness and engage in, women (or men) genuinely complimenting men is more the exception than the rule."
2. "You make me feel so (safe, beautiful, happy — anything that's a direct reflection of his efforts)."
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This is one of the most sincere compliments you can give your man and one of the most deeply appreciated because it's heartfelt. A guy who likes you is trying hard to make you feel good so let him know it's working.
Licensed clinical social worker Richard Drobnick explained the power of basic acknowledgments: "One powerful habit wives can master is the art of acknowledgment by genuinely recognizing and appreciating their husband’s efforts. Men thrive on feeling competent and valued. Acknowledgment meets this core need and strengthens their emotional connection. Don't assume he knows he's appreciated."
3. "You're so hot! I love your (insert specific physical attribute — eyes, smile, abs, shoulders)."
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It's one thing to tell a guy that he's good-looking, but telling him specifically what makes him so dreamy will give his ego an extra little lift. And when you serve up this accolade, gently touch the body part you're applauding to add extra sizzle to your compliment.
You'll understand the power of a simple compliment once you verbalize how he makes you feel and see how he reacts. According to research from 2023, it can even save your relationship.
4. "I love spending time with you."
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This compliment shows a guy that you like him, not because of who he is on the outside — his looks, his status, or his money — but that you like him because of who he is on the inside.
Mentor and leadership coach Rhonda Cort explained that, on a basic psychological level, "men respond to praise." Building up your partner isn't a one-way street, so verbalizing your appreciation could make him feel more confident about returning it.
5. "I love the way you look in that (insert specific article of clothing)."
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While most guys aren't as style-obsessed as we are, they still want to be acknowledged for making an effort to look good, especially since they're doing it mostly to impress you. However, they take more pride in how they appear in an article of clothing than their ability to pick it out, so focusing on how the thing makes them look instead of the thing itself will give them a much bigger boost.
6. "This was the best date/gift/wine selection at dinner."
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Positively reinforcing a guy who's making an effort to show you a good time makes him feel like that effort was worth it. So show a little appreciation by acknowledging his job well done with a verbal high-five.
Acknowledging when your partner tries to impress you is crucial for building a healthy relationship. It demonstrates your appreciation for their effort, enhances their self-esteem, and fosters a stronger connection and validation within the partnership. A recent study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that neglecting to acknowledge these attempts can lead to feelings of insecurity and dismissiveness in the partner trying to impress you.
7. "You're so good at your job."
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Recognizing a man's brain power and how good he is at his job will resonate loudly with him and say a lot about you. Most women are impressed by a man's career status or how much money he makes, but acknowledging how hard he works, or how dedicated he is and that you admire him for it, will warm his heart.
8. "You have a wonderful family" or "I like your friends."
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Girls don't always get along with a guy's friends and/or his family, so knowing that you respect and genuinely like him will mean the world to him.
A partner's positive approval of your friends is essential for relationship stability. An early study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that it can contribute to a sense of social validation, strengthen your support network, and predict the longevity of your romantic relationship. When your partner gets along well with your friends, it can enhance your overall relationship satisfaction and security within your social circle.
9. "What would I do without you?"
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Guys want to feel needed. Whether it's to open a pickle jar or to help you with your taxes, one of the greatest feelings in the world for them is feeling like you can't live without them. Letting him know that you need him in that neo-traditionalist way will certainly give him a healthy machismo boost.
Feeling needed by your partner is significantly essential for relationship satisfaction, as it contributes to a sense of purpose, value, and connection within the partnership. A 2013 study published in the Journal of Marital Therapy found that when someone feels like they play a vital role in their partner's life, it enhances their overall well-being and strengthens their bond.
Tristan Coopersmith is a dating coach and therapist who has been featured on several radio shows including Dr. Drew’s Loveline and in many print and online publications such as Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Woman’s Day, JDate, AOL, and more.